Sunday, 4 December 2016

QH3 Run 924. Final Whistle, Southwell

RUN #924
Date : Sunday 4th December 2016
Location: Final Whistle, Southwell
Hares:Pre-Mature and Slug
Weather: Sunshine but cool
Pack size: 13

Today we travelled to the far NE-corner of our hashing realm to Southwell, an area only used by this hash on two previous occasions. Well worth the long journey on a lovely day to run mainly virgin trails from an excellent real ale pub. The Final Whistle is a place worthy of a stop if you're ever in Southwell.
At 10:55 it looked as though this was going to be a very small pack with just the hares, relatives and friends plus Malteaser and myself. Just before the On Out Shagulater, Miss Takemenow, Butt Plug and then Sweet Pea and IP all appeared. So that gave: two hares, four r*nners (including John a virgin hasher from Cumbria), three walkers and the two true hashers that couldn't said to be r*nners but move faster than the walkers, namely, IP and Sweet Pea.
Lily the Pink pushed the pace and worked hard at the checks to ensure the pack was happy on her father's run. IP and Sweet Pea went missing pretty soon after the start, though did manage to catch up with the hare at points around the trail. Butcher's Dog and Sausage gave us all a 10 minute start having being held up by a very large convoy of Santas on motorbikes.
The hares used the principal that it was straight on unless marked otherwise which would have proved economical with the flour had it not been for all the arrows to keep the pack on track. Few checks towards the end meant FRBs Lily the Pink, Saugsage and Butcher's Dog (i.e. anyone in front of me) were able to stretch their legs. Not so Butt Plug for whom the weight of the Christmas post was beginning to take its toll.
The circle was held in the "station yard", Sweet Pea and IP providing appropriate songs when the following DDs were given:
1. IP for displaying his knees on such a cold day;
2. The hares Pre-Mature and Slug were thanked for a splendid morning out and a secret ballot gave the run a 43%;
3. Shagulater was at the hash today, much to the disappointment of the stand-in RA. On a nice day like this he should have been doing jobs in his new allotment which he expects me do all week long. He got his wee DD as he promised to go digging after the hash;
4. Puss 'n Boots, fresh from a pleasing 7-1 thrashing in Mansfield, turns up on the hash without paying or running, and stands in the circle with his hands in his pockets. So he got a DD just to see what he's missing;
5. Visiting virgin John was welcomed to the hash, he recited a Glaswegian poem for us;
6. Sweet Pea had been complaining about the cold and was going blue. She was given a cold beer to warm her up;
7. Postman Butt Plug was giving sustenance to get him through the next two weeks of Christmas post; and
8. The RA had a hunch that Malteaser would not pass all those apple trees without scrumping and rightly awarded a DD for scrumping whilst hashing.

Two weeks time is our Christmas trail. Get your Santa costumes and decorations ready - details will be on the web page www.quornh3.org.uk  (or www.quornh3.co.uk if you're Capt Oates).

On On..... Durex 

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

QH3 Run 923. The Apple Tree, Compton Acres


RUN #923
Date : Monday 28th November 2016
Location: The Apple Tree, Compton Acres
Hares:Malteaser and Durex
Weather: Clear dry night with a hard frost
Pack size: 12
Lily the Pink photographed decorations
around Compton Acres. Well the cohare
 was Durex

This was the freezing cold sort of evening you probably wouldn't go for a run, unless it was a hash. Indeed, with Malteaser, I did the trail twice, setting it and sweeping it as a hare. Being a relatively short trail to lay, we did manage to get 40 mins to warm up in the pub before setting off for the second time.
The majority of the trail was off-road along dimly or poorly lit paths, with the exception of the last quarter. A torch was very necessary though some managed without one. The RA did set out torchless but finished with one. Is there no limit to the powers of our RA. She said 'let there be light' and a torch appeared from nowhere.
Wee Willy (Winkle) was running all over town, though not in his nightgown, just a kilt. He certainly ran his fair share of false trails though probably not as far as Trianal. Lily the Pink went down on the darkest bit of the trail. Was she tripped by a competative hasher? Or was she looking for more decorations to photo?
During the indoor circle the following awards were made by the RA:
1. Expecting to give a DD for the torch as lost hashing property, Chicki had to take the first DD for conjuring it up out of nowhere, it wasn't a hasher who lost it;
2. Wee Willy, a recently married returner was welcomed back;
3. Durex for competitive hashing after informing the RA that, if she keeps missing QH3 trails, by the time he is 85 he'll have done more Quorn runs than her;
4. Butt Plug, originally brought forward for more competitive hashing ("did I win trail 515?") got a hashy birthday DD;
5. Pre-Mature for the pre-run flashing of the RA;
6. Trianal for his use of a training app;
7. I was chatting to Chicki at the back of the pack and espied Malteaser doing a shortcut. "What are the chances of her leading Too Tuf astray?". "None" came the reply as Too Tuf appeared doing his own shortcut, for which he was duly awarded;
8. Malteaser took the hares DD for a trail which I could say was awarded 100% but I can't as no score was given. No sheep but interesting Christmas(?) decorations; and
9. Finally, the dregs went to Lily the Pink, not for her fall, but for taking it easy today and hence disappointing the RA who thought she was doing rather well to keep her in sight.

Next hash trail on Sunday in Southwell - see the web page for details

On On..... Durex 



Monday, 21 November 2016

QH3 Run 922. Risley Park, Risley.





RUN #922
Date : Sunday 20th November 2016
Location: Risley Park Pub, Risley
Hare:Butt Plug
Weather: Overcast but dry
Pack size: 8


Rumour has it that the RA Chicki saw storm Angus was due to hit the Midlands on Sunday morning and decided to avoid the hash trail today. I was stand-in RA and the storm went south instead.

We had a small well formed pack with three walkers, two intermediates, and two runners(?) plus the hare. Today Barritone was in the A-Team. We have had run trails in this area many times but never a route of this this shape! (see the GPS map trace below). The hare, with some recycling of the trail and some deft flour relaying, set a very clever trail that kept us guessing as to "where next?" Up on the ridge past Hopwell Hall we had a fantastic view of the Trent Valley. New on the trail was an information board about the story of the Risley Lanx .

After the night's heavy rain there was plenty of shiggy, non-moreso than on the last climb back to the On INN. I espied shortcutters IP and Sweet Pea slowly crawling up this hill from half-a-mile away and almost past them on the same spot. I say shortcutters, I think they probably did over five miles. Mine was a long trail of 7.7 miles which included a lot of checking and going back to mark the checks for a distant Barritone. 
Did the birds pass a verdict on this
trail by shitting on it a lot?

I led a small subdued indoor circle with awards going to: 

1. Barritone, today a FRB and member of the A-team;
2. B*gger who has turned up with a sick note for most runs this year;
3. Sweet Pea, a welcome back and uphill shiggy struggler - one step up two steps down;
4. The Hare, Butt Plug for an excellent and cleverly laid trail. Sweet Pea, however, did produce evidence (see photo) that the birds may have voted this a shitty trail;
5. The RA gave a DD to himself for successfully maintaining QH3's long succession of trails without rain.




On On..... Durex 


Tuesday, 15 November 2016

MH3 Run 281. Hawk and Buckle, Etwall


Supermoon over the On Inn

RUN #281
Date : Monday 14th November 2016
Location: Hawk and Buckle, Etwall
Hares:Lionel, Catflaps and Seaman Stains
Weather: Dry, mild with a supermoon
Pack size: 14

This was a hash with a lot going on. The trail was done under the light of a supermoon, the last time we may have seen it this big Lionel was only 2 years old and the other three birthday celebrants (Seaman Stains, Oriface, and Catflaps) weren't even born. With the moon at its 'perigee' it is 5% bigger than average. Although cloudy we did get several good glimpes of the full moon out on the darkness of the trail. I look forward to seeing the next one on MH3 run 497 in 2034.
We also had a newcomer to MH3 - Ernie - a hash virgin a week ago but did his first trail with QH3 eight days before and has already 'earned' a hashname. If you've got an hour to spare Gobalot will explain its origin.
Seaman Stains was still here and took the opportunity to set the r*nners trail. Whilst the many walkers strolled around the small village that is Etwall, other hashers were sent on a trip to Hilton that included a long stretch of 1.7 miles along the Mickleover cycle path. Oriface recorded a distance 5.0 miles and time of 1hr:00min:00sec - a perfect distance and time for a hash trail.
260th Birthday Cake. A candle for each celebrant
accumulating 60+65+65+70 years between them
At the On Inn we were treated to chip butties and a chocolate birthday cake, how could this be anything other than a good run! Dobber led the circle inside awarding DDs to the following:
1. Ernie, first Mickleover trail;
2. Trianal, shoes still glowing, today's FRB;
3. Oriface, NOT complaining?;
4. Three that usually do well to avoid the hash, Louise, Slapper and Miss Frequently;
5. Gobalot took one for her 41st wedding anniversary, Oriface having treated her to a night out with chip butties.

The hares were thanked for setting the trail and Seaman Stains and Miss Frequently wished well for their removal to Devon.



On On..... Durex 



Sunday, 6 November 2016

QH3 Run 921. Plough Inn, Ashby de la Zouch


RUN #921
Date : Sunday 6th November 2016
Location: Plough Inn, Ashby de la Zouch
Hares:B*gger and Goblin
Weather: Cold and overcast, rain at 12:10
Pack size: 15


Goblin and B*gger stepped in at short notice to set this trail, the latter with a doctor's note to say he couldn't run. There was a good sized pack including newcomer and hash virgin Mark.
Shagulater was showing of his recently gained tan by turning up in shorts (not Bermuda ones) and shirt and found he had to run round the trail to keep warm. B*gger was left to look after walkers (Malteaser, Miss Takemenow and Wallington) whilst Goblin had the more arduous task of looking after the r*nners. Newcomer and orienteer Mark soon learnt that the object of hashing is not to get from A to B directly, just to Get to the Pub Sooner (GPS). FRBs and walkers just about got back to the On Inn as it started to rain. Your scribe being one of them I can officially record this as a dry run maintaining the RA's incredible feat of weather control.
At the On Inn, Mark was quick to volunteer to the pub landlord to go and get some milk for the tea drinkers and hence returned to a chorus of 'Ernie the fastest milkman...'. A hash naming on his first run was then a certainty.
Unlike the Ashbourne hash yesterday where the RA made everyone go out into the cold for the circle, the soft QH3 RA led a circle inside. Awards were given to:

In hashing circles you will be known
as 'Ernie'
1. A somewhat off colour Sauasge  for being seen going the wrong way on a one way street;
2. Oriface was not given his 100x timer mug which the RA HAD been carrying around for many months, instead he had to settle for a beer;
3. Gobalot for loosing her voice and not calling;
4. Too Tuf, one of the last to get back and hence did get wet in the rain;
5. Mark the hash virgin got a welcome drink plus the hashname of Ernie;
6. The hares Goblin and B*gger were thanked for setting the trail and awarded 44.4%. A special appreciation was given for the brunette sheep seen on trail. A good run verdict is always ensured when bribed with those lovely shortcake feet!;
7. Shagulater wearing pink trousers, was welcomed back from his Bermuda flying vacation; and finally,
8. Durex, not in the A-team this week on account of a bad back, had said shopping did not help his condition so Malteaser must take some of the blame.



On On..... Durex 


Saturday, 5 November 2016

AH4 Run 65. Old Dog, Thorpe, near Ashbourne





AH4 RUN #65
Date : Sat. 5th November 2016
Location: Old Dog, Thorpe
Hares: ASB and Hash Puppy  
Weather: Sunny but with biting cold wind
Pack size: 10

For today's trail we returned to the Old Dog Inn in Thorpe, except it was called the Dog and Partridge when we were here last. That was on 3rd January 2011 (AH4 Run 16, ASB and Mama Rose hares). They've done a really great job revitalising and renovating this pub - excellent real ales, very friendly and courteous staff  and good food. I must include this in my itinary next time I'm on the Tissington Trail which runs close by.
Surprisingly we didn't touch the Tissington trail today, the hares (ASB and Hash Puppy) uncharacteristically choosing a less level route heading out towards Dovedale. R*nners (though there wasn't a lot of that today) were compulsorily sent over the top of the 'mountain' that is Thorpe Cloud, whilst walkers were given the option of going around it. I choose the latter but Malteaser choose to go up and over. The hare did confess to me that no flour was to be found on Thorpe Cloud itself, and the sheep could readily take the blame for this! One Loose was the first 'r*nner' to arrive at the famous Dovedale stepping stones, surprising followed closely by a walking Malteaser. Road Kill, Wriggle, MK3 hasher Enema and Joanna arrived sometime after, all hashers choosing to ignore the bar on the first stepping stone. 
We had the unusual occurrence of seeing Blitzen (and child) on the trail having arrived at this popular tourist spot mainly by car. The only one missing was the Co-hare (Hash Puppy) who sensibly chose to look after the car rather than do the trail twice. The fish hook was obediently observed by four rather than three as instructed, probably on account of the fact that the hare was at the back of the pack only about 20 metres down the hill.
..that mountain there!
ON Up, Up, Up......
Bar? What Bar? Wriggle and Road Kill on the famous Dovedale stepping stones.

As is a custom with the AH4, the majority choose to have lunch at the ON INN and the circle had to wait. When the circle did get going we left the warmth of the pub for the large barn area which doubled up as a cycle shed. Awards were given to:
1. Malteaser (hashy birthday);
2. Enema and Joanna, a welcome back from Milton Keynes and a virgin hasher/visitor respectively;
3. One Loose, today's keenest checker (the other Road Kill had already gone home);
4. Blitzen for a rare appearance well into the hash trail;
5. I thought Enema and Joanna were friends but it didn't stop Enema dobbing in Joanna for lost property, resulting in Joanna getting a second DD; and
6. The hares ASB and Hash Puppy were thanked for a lovely trail.  

Today reminded me why the AH4 is a special hash with its trails set in the wonderful scenery of the Peak District and the care taken to accommodate walkers as part of the pack. I was able to appreciate this today during what was for myself a rare walking of a hash trail. 
There'll be a Christmas trail in December (probably Saturday 10th December) so we hope to see many more of our 'members' next month!


On On.. Durex


Tuesday, 1 November 2016

QH3 Run 920. Meadow Covert, Edwalton



RUN #920
Date : Monday 31st October 2016
Location: Meadow Covert, Edwalton
Hares:Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Dry and mild
Pack size: 7

With no red dress run this year we had the minor celebration of Halloween, well at least Butt Plug and Durex did by coming dressed for the occasion. However, our small group of seven was somewhat outnumbered by the hoards of witches, vampires and zombies roaming the streets of Edwalton.

Hares Too Tuf and Chicki stepped in at the last moment to set this trail and despite being laid a day-and-a-half beforehand the flour was mostly still intact. A strained back meant I was forced to seek a shorter route. I probably saw more of Trianal than I usually do on a trail as well selected shortcuts usually meant I arrived at most points around the trail about the same time as Trianal. Usually chased by Butcher's Dog going slower than usual as she was still recovering from a twisted ankle.

The On Inn was well decked for Halloween so I felt quite at home whilst waiting for the pack to arrive. Unusually for QH3, more than half those present had solids which delayed the start of the circle. No rest for the hares with Too Tuf as stand-in Beermaster to fetch the beer and Chicki doing her usual duties as RA. Awards were given:
1. Smutley for having 'a crack in front';
2. Trianal for his pre-hash warm-up;
3. Durex and Butt Plug for taking the trouble to dress up for Halloween; and finally
4. The hares were thanked for setting the trail and awarded a score of forty-six and a turd percent as it passed a sewerage works.

There was little to announce as we have no hares for next Sunday's trail. All those present had good reasons for not volunteering. No hare, no trail next Sunday?!

On On..... Durex