Sunday, 18 September 2016

QH3 Run 916. Wheatsheaf, Bingham

RUN #916
Date : Sunday 18th September 2016
Location: Wheatsheaf, Bingham
Hares: Lily the Pink and Puss 'n Boots
Weather: Lovely sunshine
Pack size: 14

In the nearly 30 years of Quorn hash history it is surprising that this was only the fifth time we've run from Bingham. Last time we visited this pub was in April 2010 and since then it has been renamed, shut down and only recently reopened in August 2016. Whilst on historical facts, one of the hares laid claim to a family connection - once run by Puss 'n Boots' Great Grandmother Susannah then Grandada Gordon and Granny Marjorie.
The aforemention hare helped set the trail but was absent for the run, a risky tactic in the event of complaining hounds. It is very easy for any problems about the trail to be blamed on the absent hare. Last time I set a trail and then ran elsewhere with another hash, someone (Enema) broke a wrist on the my trail and my cohare had to pick up the pieces. No such excitement today. A solidly good trail. If there was an award for the oddest shaped trail (see GPS trace link below) this would be a prime candidate. And then the RA just keeps giving us wonderful sunny hashes month after month.
Today was a rare hash outing by Should be Felt who didn't have far to walk to get to the hash. She demonstrated a lot of local knowledge for the first two miles of the trail. RA Chicki was still running-in her new shoes from the back of the pack, although 'identical' to Too Tuf's they don't go as fast. This could either be attributed to shoe size or driver.
The end of the trail had a bonus loop where, with the On Inn in sight, all but Skids and Wallington went the extra mile plus. This included the 'hares' revenge', a narrow passage between hedges where it is rumoured (that is, a rumour started by Too Tuf) that a certain hasher had to take it sideways.
We sat out in the beer garden enyoying the September sunshine before the RA interrupted to give out awards as follows:
1. Malteaser for insinuating that the RA's shoes were the same size as Too Tuf's;
2. Butt Plug who inherited Chicki's last pair on new trainers and claimed he got lost wearing them;
3. Skids was welcomed back for her 198th Quorn hash. Two-hundred timer looming;
4. Wallington for his strapped up wrists. Why does he need to use two hands in front of the VDU?;
5. Durex, who on one of his many long checks choose to 'pass through the field boundary' rather than running the quarter-of-mile back again;
6. Diarrhoea for many sins including being a FRB, liking a big one and referring to his 'nuclear beer' (a new clear beer);
7. Too Tuf for insulting a fellow hasher (see earlier reference to a narrow path);
8. Not in this sequential order but more in context following the above, Ballcrusher received a DD for the comment that the insulted hasher should 'put it behind her';
9. Pre-Mature for throwing himself in front of a car on the A52. It was noted that he was absent from the last hash where the hare (Butt Plug) provided copies of the Green Cross Code;
10. Barritone took Should be Felt's DD for running with insider information; and finally
11. Hare Lily the Pink took the verdict from the Archers-like jury of eleven (one having gone home). They were found guilty of setting a good run.

On On into Autumn we go.. Durex

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

MH3 Run 279. The Half Moon, Littleover.

MH3 Run 279
Date: Monday 12th September 2016
Location: The Half Moon Inn, Littleover
Hare: Durex
Weather: Warm and dry
Pack size: 12

With temperatures set to soar this was like a mid-summer's evening, except it got dark at 7:30 pm. It's the time of year when hashers have to adjust to running in urban areas and in the dark. Torches and bright coloured attire required. The pack managed to find its way around eventually, but only after missing a check in the 'dark patch' allowed fast-walking Seaman Stains to take the lead. Parts of the trail were familiar, other bits were new and certainly joined up in a novel way. Nobody got lost and the walkers were already back in the beer garden before the main pack arrived.
The Half Moon is a good pub for an On-Inn. Dobber awarded DDs as follows:
1. Seaman Stains for smooching on the hash (with his wife);
2. Wriggle for 'window shopping', B*gger having left early escaped this award;
3. Smutley and Woggle coming dressed for autumn weather;
4. Durex the hare was thanked for the run; and
5. Lionel for having the 'wrong trousers'.

On On ..Durex

Trail as set by Durex

Tuesday, 6 September 2016

QH3 Run 915. Old Ship Inn, Lowdham

RUN #915
Date : Sunday 4th September 2016
Location: The Old Ship, Lowdham
Hare: Butt Plug
Weather: Dry and mild
Pack size: 9

Butt Plug trails are always contenders for 'Trail of the Year' and this could be another one, certainly gets my nomination for the best trail in September. We
Today's trail was a forager's dream, including
this puffball fungus
don't often hash this side of Nottingham and, although we have hashed from Lowdham before, much of this was virgin trail. It was certainly a forager's trail with abundant damson, plum and apple trees along the way, and the odd puff ball fungi. 

For her second successive run Chicki turned up in new shoes, identical to Too Tuf's but not as fast and still with the labels on. It is becoming increasingly difficult to get away with misdemeanors behind the RA's back on the trail. Especially today as she was 'running in' her new shoes from the back of the pack.
So just how did we manage to tell Chicki had new shoes?
It's good when hashers wear bright T-shirts (the exception being fluorescent pink) because you can see them a long way ahead and on checks. Both Wednesday and Diarrhoea had bright orange T-shirts and both did a lot of checking, as did Lily the Pink in her bright blue top. Barritone was on good form with the hash horn. It is difficult to get a note out of the horn whilst running on a hash let alone after having cycled all the way from Beeston.
I had to depart the On Inn early and missed the circle, so the following is from RA Chicki's notes:
DDs were awarded as follows:-

1. Durex - for furtive activity with plums.  Durex had left the hash to wash his hair before attending an important function so Barritone stepped forward as lookie-likey.
2. Too Tuf - for sticking his knob into a bush on the run.
3. Chicki - for new shoes again.
4. Lily the Pink - for refusing to check out an overgrown footpath because a nice hare wouldn't do that to the hash.
5. Wednesday - for being the only person who felt that she should read all the instructions on crossing the road safely, which were handed out by the hare because there were a couple of busy roads to negotiate.  Wednesday is a doctor but clearly still unsure of how to cross a road.
6. Wee Willie - for being very late for the run because he had gone to the wrong bus stop and then took Lily's suggestion of running to the hash seriously.
7. Butt Plug - for an excellent trail, although 58% was deducted for a couple of difficult foot paths making the trail 42%.

On On.. Durex

Monday, 5 September 2016

AH4 Run 64. The Water Bridge, Uttoxeter

AH4 RUN #64
Date : Saturday 3rd September 2016 (11:00)
Location: Water Bridge Inn, Uttoxeter
Hares: Wriggle  
Weather: Starting wet, becoming wetter 
Pack size: 10

Today the AH4 reassembled itself for a trail around Uttoxeter set by Wriggle. We arrived in the rain, it rained even more during the run but I do believe it had stopped by the time we went home. I was reminded many times that it was the responsibility of the Religious Adviser (i.e. me) to ensure good weather. I had to explain that the subscription for 'sunny dry weather' on the first Saturday of every month had now expired, and, as the AH4 hadn't been running regularly, I hadn't renewed.
Within the first mile I was well and truly wet through, mainly due to soakings from passing cars. The flour stuck surprising well and we did manage to follow the trail all the way around. This included a visit to Adam Peaty's street bedecked with union jacks plus a short excursion to see the Adams' Family home. Only the thunder and lightning was missing. We ticked off the list of all the things the hare warned us about - stinging nettles, shiggy and a long flight of broken steps. 

After an absence of AH4 trails for 11 months everyone was a welcome back. However, One Loos got the DD as a welcome back - we did do a farewell to him and his family several years ago when he went off to New Zealand. Now they're back again. We also had two hashers from the Rutland Hash - Bummer and Canary Boy - the latter running his first AH4 trail. Both were welcomed to our hash. There was a 'river' crossing on the trail. Usually we punish those that cross bars to keep their feet dry but today it was easier to reward Jelly Knob with a DD for strictly following hash rules, rather than punish all those (i.e. everyone else) that didn't. The mismanagement committee namely, Andean Sex Beast, received an award for only managing to organise one trail in the last eleven months. Hash Puppy was one of two that did a shorter version of the trail (guess who the second was?) and she received a DD for that. Finally, the hare Wriggle was thanked for a good trail which, despite the heavy rain, was laid well enough for us to find flour all the way around and nobody got lost. It was of good length too, most recording 7+ miles. Road Kill and Malteaser missed awards though the latter did 'shortcut' back but still managed to do 7 miles..

On On.. Durex

Wednesday, 31 August 2016

QH3 Run 914. The John Thompson, Ingleby

RUN #914
Date : TUESDAY 30th August 2016
Location: The John Thompson pub & brewery
Hare: Gobalot
Weather: Late summer sunshine 
Pack size: 11

With sunset at 19:58 this was probably our last daylight evening hash trail of 2016. Goodbye summer. And what a nice sunset it was - no RA needed for some splendid summer sunshine, just Durex standing in as temp RA for the day.
There were a number of faces we haven't seen on a Quorn hash for a while. Hare Gobalot now sets as many trails as she actually runs, and then there was Oriface, stuck on 100 runs since June 2014, he has finally made it 101. It was also welcome back to Rutland hasher Bummer.

The pack passed Bugger and Goblin arriving at the On Inn just after the On Out, though with the first bit of the trail being a three-quarters of a mile uphill stretch they soon caught up, despite Malteaser taking off as though she still had the runs. Indeed, for a trail on the Trent flood plain the hare managed to find a route with a lot of uphill. Wallington was our SRB for the day with his poorly wrists which didn't stop him walking most of this 4.5 mile trail. Trianal was also present doing his usual lots of checking and, with Ballcrusher, Lightning Rod and Oriface assisting, the pack moved around swiftly. This was just as well because after witnessing a lovely sunset we still had a couple of miles to do. Fortunately the clear sky meant we all got back before darkness.

Durex led the circle awarding:
1. Welcome back to Bummer;
2. Lightning Rod and Oriface for always checking together, the latter giving a very good impression he didn't know where the trail was going;
3. Wallington was given a beer to help cure his wrists, no problem doing a DD;
4. Trianal for starting a new job, we like to celebrate new things on our hash;
5. The hare Gobalot for an excellent trail even though we didn't see the puma and there was no pub quiz for us to enjoy. We actually had a secret ballot and it was thumbs up all around - that'll be a 48% good trail then; and finally, of those that had stayed for the circle,
6. The two remaining NODDYs (Not Offered a Down Down Yet) - Ballcrusher and Malteaser, the latter won the award for her enthusiasm at the start of the trail.

That's the way I saw it, On On.. Durex

Monday, 22 August 2016

QH3 Run 913. The Spanish Bar, Ilkeston

RUN #913
Date : Sunday 21st August 2016
Location: The Spanish Bar, Ilkeston
Weather: Warm and dry 
Pack size: 14

Barritone, our hare for today has a penchant for finding excellent 'new' hash On Inns and associated virgin trails. Our run from The Spanish Bar in Ilkeston fulfilled all expectations with a well laid and well constructed trail from a pub with a really nice atmosphere and good beer. The pub looks like a small shop from the outside but is deceptively roomy extending a long way back with a beer garden bedecked by numerous hanging flower baskets. Many of the hounds chose to come by bus - there was a bus stop right outside the pub. Car users had to use the public car park just 120 m up the road and free to use on Sundays. 
The hare explained the usual Quorn hash markings and emphasised the need to appreciate that a bar didn't mean you always have to go back to the last check to find the correct path. It was a master class in how to lay a good trail with helpful arrows and bars to keep the pack on track and difficult checks that kept the pack together - no need for holding checks on this run. Ilkeston is blessed with disused railways and off-road public paths. Too bad some spoilsports had chosen to try and obliterate the flour markings on several parts of the trail. Barritone always uses lots of flour so this was quite difficult to do especially as the trail had been laid earlier in morning rather than the night before. One particular quarter-mile stretch of the course had been subjected to particular stringent cleansing that must have involved a bucket and scrubbing brush. What goes on in these peoples' heads?

In the circle the RA Chicki made the following awards:
Too Tuf and Barritone christening new shoes
1. There was an abundance of new shoes with four hashers choosing to christen new footware on this trail - Jelly Knob, Too Tuf, Chicki and Barritone, the latter fulfilling a need identified some 18 months ago. Chicki was puzzled why her new shoes were the wrong size. One member of the circle was lucky to get away with suggesting it was something to do with the colour of her hair. Too Tuf pointed out that tradition states christenings are done on the left shoe, hence Barritone's first effort (see photo) had to be repeated with the right one. Hashers should also note that there are not rules on the hash (rule one), we just have 'traditions';
2. Continuing the theme of shoes, Sausage got a DD for squelchy shoes after the bog crossing;
3. Puss in Boots was caught flashing under a bridge (at the cross-over check that must have had at least five bars and even when Butcher's Dog found the correct way it was like a maze getting out of the check);
4. Durex was punished for being a 'girlie' and pulling up his long sock to avoid been stung by nettles. It was pointed out that girlies (e.g. Chicki and Lily the Pink) could do such wimpish things (like going out of their way to get around nasty boggy ground);
5. Pre-Mature, also being a 'girlie' by following them the long way around the bog;
6.Wee Willy for running back from his first hash in Nottingham and getting back to West Bridgford before the RA who caught the bus;
7. Lily the Pink for enjoying herself (?) with Too Tuf in the wood, both received DDs; and
8. Barritone for an excellent hash. No sheep on this trail though there was an urban fox who did a better job  than many of the SRBs of finding the correct trail home. Shame about the 'invisible flour' which hares have been using in recent runs. A 62% vote for the trail was well deserved.

On On.. Durex

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

MH3 Run 278. Chequers Inn, Stanton-by-dale

MH3 Run 278
Date: Monday 15th August 2016
Location: Chequers Inn, Stanton-by-dale
Hare:Butcher's Dog
Weather: Hot and sunny
Pack size: 15

A good-sized pack and a lovely summer's evening for a run around Stanton by Dale. The hare (Butcher's Dog) promised us a c.5-mile trail and a walkers' shortcut had also been laid to cater for the usual group of MH3 walkers which this week included Beer and Loathing. It was quite apparent from an early stage that this trail was not going to go where we thought it should do. That's what hashing is about. At first it looked as though we were heading out towards Dale Abbey but then the trail cut back behind the village and headed eastwards under the M1 and into Sandiacre. There were a number of fallers again this week. I suddenly found myself two feet shorter when I put my left leg down a hay-covered hole. Fortunately, I wasn't travelling at my usual great speed and just gently keeled over. Pull-Through (?) (son of Lightning Rod) chose a slightly harder surface to trip on - a busy road - and for a second  hash in a row we had blood spilt on the hash (Gobalot's scars are healing nicely).
No sheep on the trail this week though plenty of horses for a bit of horseplay.
After the walkers had been diverted along a shorter route, the FRBs got a chance to stretch their legs. Good checks kept the pack more-or-less together. This included a section across the Erewash Valley golf course where the public footpath passes across half-a-dozen fairways. On a weekend a long line of hashers makes a good target for golfers, fortunately for the hash all the golfers had gone home. The hare counted us out and counted us all back in!
The MH3 August trail is usually set to celebrate Butcher's Dog's birthday and today was no exception. Cake at the On Inn guaranteed a favourable run discussion.
RA Dobber gave out the following awards:
1. Durex - abusing the RA, something about a narrow gate and the need for vaseline;
2. Lionel (Roy Rogers) - the horses caused him to move more quickly than usual;
3. Pull Through (?) - tripping over the road kerb (kerb crawling?);
4. Welcome backs for Smutley and Ballcrusher;
5. Oriface - rapidly approaching 65;
7. Butcher's Dog, the hare awarded a 'good run' to the tune of hashy birthday; and finally;
8. Gobalot - whilst our athletes are achieving medals in Rio for their skill and athleticism, she got first prize in the Ticknall village show for putting a bunch of flowers in a vase! 

Where's the summer gone? We're looking for a hare to set September's trail.

On On ..Durex

Trail as done by Durex