Sunday, 21 December 2014

QH3 Run 853. The Plough, Ashby de la Zouch

RUN #853 Jingle Balls Hash
Date : Sunday 21st December 2014
Location: Plough, Ashby de la Zouch (LE65 1JU)
Hares: B*gger and Goblin
Weather: Cloudy but mild. Where's the snow? 
Pack size: 12

Anyone seen our reindeer?

While hashers washed their socks last night,
The hare laid flour on the ground,
And B*gger to the Plough came down,
and set a trail all around.
"Fear not," said he, for mighty dread
Had seized our feeble minds;
"A hash of great joy I bring
To you and all hashkind".

"To you, in Ashby town, this day,
We can promise you pies and mulled wines.
A trail, which has shiggy and sheep galore;
Just follow the usual hash signs.
Mince pies at a 'MP' check you'll find
For all true hashers displayed,
Made by Goblin, along with shortcake stars,
And on the garden table laid".

On the trail we saw some real mean looking
sheep that looked like this, the Texel breed
Today was our annual 'Jingle Balls' hash trail. Perhaps not as well attired and documented as the High Wycombe Santa Hash but we were all in the Christmas spirit. Shame the RA couldn't arrange a bit of snow. B*gger ignored several river crossing opportunities early on but instead led us through a paddy field and later sent us down a stream and under a bridge.
I saw a dog-walker with the longest lead ever - must have been 25m. That was shortly after a field of the meanest looking sheep you can find. They looked like a cross between a sheep and a bulldog. However, without Too Tuf's encyclopaedic agricultural knowledge and Barritone's inside info on sheep (both missed today's trail), I was unable to get a positive identification. 

Captain Oates Christmas list found out on the trail
Cpt Oates was uncharacteristically doing a lot of front running along with Trianal and Steve (QH3 hash virgin). I did find part of Cpt Oates' Christmas wish list whilst on the trail (see left).
We've come across some interesting furniture on our trails in recent weeks. It seems as though hares must now include a sofa or a chair somewhere on the trail.
Astroturf  chairs spotted on today's trail
A new type of check for the QH3 - a 'MP' stop - the promised mince pies and mulled wine at B*gger and Goblin's house. Wallington had already short cut there and was well into the wine.

Mince pie and mulled wine stop
Having set the tradition last year Durex, the Hash Cash, deemed this was a free hash. Too bad for newcomer Steve, you never have to pay on your first run either. The circle was led by our RA Butt Plug, who out of respect for the earlier mulled wine, awarded mainly soft drinks.
Skids and Malteaser had a blonde moment, both managing to get lost travelling from inside the pub to the yard at the back. This was also Skids' 'farewell' hash having moved up to Liverpool. Steve had a DD as a hash QH3 virgin. Durex was honoured for his 501st run but refused to take off his 501 Levi's until he got his timer shirt. Captain Oates used some excuse about having to go to work - he would have got a DD for the stamped-addressed piece of toast he sent to Too Tuf. Did it arrive?

Happy Christmas and a Hashy New Year
to you all from Durex
The hares were awarded a staggering 35% for an excellent trail that had all the ingredients for a good hash. 
Well that's how I saw our Jingle Balls Hash today. On On into Christmas......

Saturday, 13 December 2014

MH3 Run 258. Masons Arms, Mickleover

MH3 Run 258
Date: Monday 8th December 2014
Location: Masons Arms, Mickleover(DE3 0DL)
Hares: Dobber & Lionel
Weather: Cold
Pack size: 15

Fifteen Mickleover Hashers on their Christmas Trail.
Stains, Woggle and Oates without compulsion,
Later joined us in the Masons,
So the pack tonight was actually just a dozen.

Twelve Mickleover Hashers on their Christmas Trail,
The On Out was marked just fine,
But three were merely walkers,
So the pack soon became only nine.

Nine Mickleover Hashers on their Christmas Trail,
Trianal ran at his usual rate,
No other hashers missed him,
So then there were only eight.

Eight Mickleover Hashers on their Christmas Trail,
Butcher's and Malti got in a fix,
They disappeared from the trail,
And that left a pack of only six.

Six Mickleover Hashers on their Christmas Trail,
Diarrhoea checked down a drive,
The pack carried on without him,
Now down to only five.

Five Mickleover Hashers on their Christmas Trail,
Running all over like lunatics,
Hold on, we've found Diarrhoea again,
And the pack is back up to six!

Six Mickleover Hashers on their Christmas Trail,
Getting plenty of exercise,
Back to the Masons they did come,
A six-pack that really earned their mince pies.

Well done to Diarrhoea, Durex, B*gger, Goblin, Artless Dodger and Wriggle who all managed to survive and complete this challenging trail around  the streets and alleyways of Mickleover.

Many thanks to Mrs Dobber for the copious mince pies and Goblin for the patter of many tiny shortcake feet. No subs and free beer meant that the hares (Dobber and Lionel) ensured this got a good run accolade.

Trail as run by Durex

Monday, 8 December 2014

QH3 Run 852. Horse and Plough, Bingham

RUN #852
Date : Sunday 7th December 2014
Location: Horse and Plough, Bingham (NG13 8AF)
Hares: IP and Sweat Pea
Weather: Sunny but with cold wintry wind 
Pack size: 14

A rare trail out to the east of Nottingham for the Quorn Hash, again with excellent weather albeit a bit on the cold side. Butt Plug passed on reports from his hash intelligence agency that police had been seen washing away white powder on the streets of Bingham. I see a need here for a bit of local publicity about hashing. Undeterred, our hares for the day, IP and Sweat Pea, sent us on our way along what we reckon to have been predominantly virgin trails.
A well laid trail, each flour blob was enough to make a donut. There were some challenging checks and places were the path deviated from what was expected meaning that the pack was kept more-or-less together until we got back to the outskirts of Bingham.
A cold wind and the less than ideal location for the circle in a public car park meant the RA was under pressure to finish quickly. The hares were congratulated first for an excellent trail though the many missed opportunities for river crossings were noted. Lincolnshire Sausage woke up this morning to find himself too poorly to go playing on his bike. Instead he came hashing and was awarded a non-DD to the tune of 'ring a ring o roses'. Captain Oates  received a DD for failing to identify sinners. The final DD went to Butt Plug for his approach into the car park which involved mounting the pavement and entering the car park via the exit.
My much anticipated landmark 500th Quorn trail passed unannounced. Disappointed. Celebration of timers is an important part of the hash tradition as is hash mismanagement. It's a shame that, with a hash as small as ours with good up-to-date stats, we consistently fail to acknowledge hasher timer achievements on time.

Trail as done by Durex

Monday, 1 December 2014

QH3 Run 851 (OH3 Run 830 ) Rose & Crown, Zouch

RUN #851 (OH3 Run #830)
Date : Sunday 30th November 2014
Location: Rose and Crown, Zouch (LE12 5EQ)
Hares: Durex, Malteaser and Dipstick
Weather: Sunny, mild and dry. 
Pack size: 33

There's not much to Zouch but for the Oxford Hash  they can now say they've hashed from somewhere beginning with 'Z'. Our end of the month Monday run was postponed to this Sunday so Oxford could join us on a run on their way back home from a hash weekend in Hathersage. Our pack was swelled to 33 with two-thirds being from OH3.

Run 851 was a joint run with Quorn and Oxford Hashers

Splendid weather for the time of year with the going very soft in places (good shiggy!). At 5.9 miles this was generally longer than our usual trails though this enabled us to take in the scenic path around the lake and a 25-meter wade down Black Brook. Well it was either that or a crossing of the River Soar! The Quorn A-team was absent this week so it was generally OH3 that did most of the checking and stretched out the pack. There was plenty of scope for short-cutting - a few did this of their own accord and I did manage to help Skids, FBJ and partner to do this more efficiently. Cohare Malteaser was able to escort the walkers around ensuring a reasonable length walk. This was two times in a month for Underlay, she'll be calling herself a hasher soon!
RAs Butt Plug and Victoria led the circle that included DDs for: (1) Wallington and Hard Core for not doing the stream crossing. Two of many and they didn't actually get a DD, more like wet feet from water dispensed by the RA. A bit harsh on Wallington as doing the short run he wasn't given the opportunity to wade down the stream; (2) Hares Durex, Malteaser and Dipstick for a good run. None of the 42% nonsense this week; (3) Hashy birthday to Scragends; (4) Lost property from the Hathersage weekend - a wig that wasn't Dipstick's; (5) For the light-weights of the OH3, Home Alone and three others - Butt Plug had dropped into the Little John in Hathersage to meet up with the OH3 over the weekend but had found they had all left the pub early; (6) Newcomer to the Quorn hash, Argentinian Stop at my sex pit (we'll just call you Sex-pit); (7) Professional drinker Warm and Fluffy; (8) Who knows Stewart? - Diarrhoea and Lockjaw; and finally (9) Butt Plug for spending the whole weekend hashing, initially camping with the 'Hard Bastards weekend' in Edale, and it was a hashy birthday for him.

Great to be hashing with a good-sized pack. I say it every time, we should be doing more of these hashing cultural exchanges and have far more joint runs.

That's the way I saw it....

Trail as set by Hare(Durex)

Sunday, 16 November 2014

QH3 Run 850 Halfway House, Donisthorpe

RUN #850
Date : Sunday 16th November 2014
Location: Halfway House, Donisthorpe
Hares: B*gger and Goblin
Weather: Fog in Nottingham, Rain in B'ham but OK here.
Pack size: 12

When the hare arrived I made my excuses about not being able to run because of a bad back. B*gger put on a rubber glove and I thought he was going to ask me to bend over! No worry, today's hash was a figure of eight, walkers could do just one loop.

One of several river crossings
Today with Wallington I looked after the back of the pack and, although walking, kept up with hashers for the first mile, checks working well. Unfortunately at the cross-over point we picked the wrong loop and in the wrong direction and ended up following the pack back along the track we'd already done and at 4 miles ended up doing 80% of the route. We did get a chance to see several river crossings and the barefoot hikers from Coventry. Anyone up for a barefoot hash?
We picked up Skids on our route and ended up back at the On Inn not too long after the pack had arrived back. We shared the pub with a crowd of litter pickers.

In the circle RA Butt Plug awarded DDs to: (1) Malteaser (been retired 2 weeks and Durex had already been broken); (2)Too Tuf (ladies be careful he doesn't touch you!); (3) Sausage (short cutting and competitiveness involving trying some future-wife beating); (4) B*gger and Goblin - good run (42.3%); and (5) Skids and B*gger (Moonies, though looky-likey Chicki took it for the blondes).

That's how I saw it...On On...Durex
Trail as set by the Hare
(less the last mile)

Walkers Trail

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

MH3 Run 257, The Railway Inn, Sawley

Date: Monday 10th November 2014
Location: The Railway, Sawley (NG10 3AP)
Hare: B*gger
Weather: Dark, dry and getting chilly
Pack size: 16

Butcher's Dog gave us a five minute start but still caught us up eleven minutes into the trail. A walking Seaman Stains kept up with the pack and was even seen doing checks. Such was the nature of this typical B*gger trail. The hare warned us at the On Out that the trail would have many directional changes and it was important to stick on flour. Wise advice indeed. This was a trail that twisted and turned and made good use of both pavements and alley ways. The trail went where the flour was put rather than where the path led us. Hounds worked hard at every check and the pack seemed to diminish in size as the trail progressed. First to go AWOL was Goblin, an obvious concern for the hare. You don't lose your wife on your own trail.

Captain Oates finds normal hash trails challenging so it was inevitable he would get lost tonight. He was last seen running up and down the canal with Gobalot. At least he got back to the ON INN early. Meanwhile FRBs (Trianal and Butcher's Dog) were finding the trail made more difficult by parked cars strategically placed over crucial hash markings. I chose to hang around at the SRB end of the pack (still with a troublesome back) and benefited from keeping a close eye on where the hare was going.

At the ON INN we were treated to the first mince pies of the season (courtesy of Goblin). In the circle Dobber awarded Down-Downs to a couple of harriettes whose observational abilities were questioned - Malteaser (crossing a bar) and Goblin (ran past a marked check in the wrong direction). K2 received a DD for arriving late and Captain Oates, yes, for getting lost again. Seaman Stains got a hashy birthday and B*gger was thanked for a good hash trail.

Trail as done by Durex

Sunday, 9 November 2014

QH3 Run 849, Four Bells, Woodborough

RUN #849
Date : Sunday 2nd November 2014
Location: The Four Bells, Woodborough (NG14 6EA) 
Hare: Free Willy
Weather: Pleasant and Balmy
Pack size: 7

Debriefed apparently was on a Bridesmaid dresses shopping trip. The wedding is not till next July, so why was it so urgent that the co-Hare had to miss laying a trail? Also the Bridesmaid's measurements are bound to change in the meantime so some alterations will undoubtedly have to be made. The Hare hobbled round at the back of the pack due to an 18-month old Hockey injury.
R*nners:   Barritone, Ballcrusher, Captain Oates and Wallington
Walkers:   Butt Plug and Underlay
Trail about six miles.

The Hare forgot to tell the Walkers about a short cut so they arrived back an hour after everyone else. Also they stopped to have a Greggs sausage roll. (Is that a euphemism for something that's not allowed on the Hash?). Wallington has bought a Bungalow to add to his existing property portfolio of two houses. It was reported in the media that car sales are up 10% on last year and this year will be a record 10 year high, so now we know where the money has ended up. Wallington still has a bit of a way to go to catch up with the Blairs, who have 31 properties Captain Oates is looking for someone share his flat, mainly to contribute to the expenses.


AH4 Run 55, Blacksmith's Arms, Alton

RUN #55
Date : Saturday 1st November 2014
Location: Blacksmith's Arms, Alton (ST10 4AZ) 
Hare: Captain Oates
Weather: Unknown
Pack size: 5

This was a small pack with the RA Durex away in Liverpool with other hashers and ASB making some excuse about a poorly knee. At least the GM Horse's Arse turned up.
The GM reported on Facebook:

AH3 @ Blacksmith's Arms. Eventful day: big group of 4, the GM (that's me) fell over and split hand open, hare got lost and arrived 30 minutes after we all got back. On on!

Later questioning of the hare would suggest the first bit of the trail was the best part but it did go downhill from there, some excuse about a new hotel being built where a path should have been. Pitty nobody got as far as the monorail ride. The trail as done by Horse's Arse looks remarkable!

Trail as run by Horse's Arse

Monday, 27 October 2014

QH3 Run 848 Red Dress Run, Beeston, Nottingham


RUN #848
Date : Saturday 25th October 2014
Location: Beeston (NG9 1JG) 
Hares: Malteaser and Durex
Weather: Mild
Pack size: 14

This year a reasonable number turned out in red dresses so our evening looked liked a fun time rather than a transvestites' night out. A late train from Nottingham meant we started off from Beeston station (or rather the Victoria Hotel) 20 minutes behind schedule. The trail was a relatively short two-mile route around Beeston that included five further pub stops.

Pub Stop 2: The Star Inn
Pub Stop 3: The Malt Shovel

Pub Stop 4: The Last Post

Pub Stop 5: Crown Inn

Pub Stop 6: The Hop Pole

Barritone as always was well turned out for the occasion but the award for the worst fitting dress goes to Captain Oates, a size 22 wearing a size 14 tube dress. As this was also a celebration of Malteaser's big birthday the theme was actually 'old ladies red dress' and there were plenty of grey wigs. George provided us with a commentary on the state of the toilets in each pub, five stars going to the Star (so should that be six stars?).
Cpt Oates had the most poorly fitting
 dress of the evening
A quick circle was held outside the Malt Shovel where RA Butt Plug awarded DDs to newcomer George (brother of welcome back Motormouth); Chicki (being stressed and late); Captain Oates (getting lost finding his destination); and Malteaser (Hashy Birthday). At the Malt Shovel Rasher and Eager Beaver had joined the pack for their farewell Quorn Hash. Eager was wearing the red dress that has probably appeared in all Quorn Red Dress Runs - how can Eager Beaver and Too Tuf fit in the same dress? There was also a lot of discussion as to whether all Malteaser's features were genuine or not. Rasher found a comfortable place there to rest his head (and possibly a few glasses of beer). There was much wig exchanging going on - wigging?
Those who bought a round of drinks in The Last Post were a lot happier, lots of change there, as well as many inquisitive locals. In keeping with the red dress theme, Captain Oates celebrated here with a red coloured beer. Indeed, he seemed to be working his way through pretty obscure drinks at most stops. We managed to keep together as a pack up to the the fifth stop at the Crown. 
The trail reached the final stop, The Hop Pole, on schedule at about 23:00 though here we started to lose people. Skids and Malteaser disappeared into the Lebanese takeaway. Butcher's Dog and Sausage left with Eager Beaver and Rasher citing the need to go cycling the next day and another group headed off for the last train. There was a time once when on a red dress trail we would hit the clubs and were happy to catch the first train/bus the next day. It's not only Malteaser who is getting older, we all are.
On On...

Red Dress trail as planned by the hares.

Sunday, 19 October 2014

QH3 Run 847 The Windmill Inn, Wymeswold

RUN #847
Date : Sunday 19th October 2014
Location: The Windmill Inn, Wymeswold (LE12 6TT) 
Hare: Dope
Weather: Mild and sunny
Pack size: 13

This was Dope's virgin QH3 hare and, considering his relatively short hashing career with Quorn, mostly on 'eventful' trails, this trail went rather well. Such was the devotion of our hare today he had stayed in a B&B nearby to ensure he could set this hash in the morning. We couldn't complain about the weather either, 20ºC and warm sunshine in the middle of October. It was also the first time in our 847 runs that we had started from The Windmill.
I took up an unaccustomed position at the back of the pack walking the trail with a back injury, Surprisingly, I kept up with the pack all the way around - the hare must have set good checks. After more than 30 years of hashing I should try this walking strategy more often - it's much less effort than being an FRB. I was able to catch up after Malteaser fell over blocking the trail! (*****BREAKING NEWS**** had to take Malteaser to Derby A&E early Monday morning with a suspected fractured wrist, yet another hashing injury to add to her long list. The irony being we had to get there before 9 o'clock so she could avoid having to cross the picket line of striking radiographers!).
The trail was actually a figure-of-eight (see GPS trace), well worked out in an area not renown for outstanding hashing trails. Some unusual hash markings were correctly interpreted as 'cross here'. Even a farmer ploughing up the trail failed to stop us finding our way. Barritone didn't pedal fast enough, arrived at the hash late and never managed to catch up the pack. 
The excellent weather meant we could sit outside in the excellent beer garden which was just as well, there's few seats for non-diners during a Sunday lunchtime.
Our RA led the circle awarding DDs to:
1. Chicki (something about the piece of string between her legs);
2. Barritone (latecomer);
3. IP (continuing the theme about Sweet Pea forgetting to take the bacon out the freezer);
4. Skids and Malteaser (fallers);
5. Heroin (didn't like the B&B and went home);
6. Dope, the Hare for a good run; and
7. Durex, walking so fast on the hash he still managed to overtake the RA.

That's the way I saw it....On On Durex.

Trail as walked by Durex

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

MH3 Run 256. Coopers Tavern, Burton-Upon-Trent

RUN #256
Date : Monday 13th October 2014
Location: Coopers Tavern, Burton-upon-Trent (DE14 1EG) 
Hare: Captain Oates
Weather: Wet
Pack size: about 14

September lacked rain, October is making up for it. A dark, wet and windy evening, hardly the encouragement to go out for a run. But run we did and we enjoyed it. At only six miles it was a shorter trail then we are used to for Burton, and the hare (Captain Oates), despite the rain, laid a well marked route that plots out as a very irregular GPS trace including a cross-over (see Garmin link below). Surprisingly, it was a Captain Oates hash that ran relatively smoothly, even though there were rumours of a body and a wake at the On Inn.
Optional river crossing
It was welcome back to Organ Stops who, with other regular FRBs (Trianal and Beefeater), pulled the pack around with rapid speed. The trail featured an optional river crossing which nobody took, the angry swans stopped me from stepping in.
The Coopers Tavern is a fantastic real ale pub with a friendly staff and cliental - the selection of this pub is, by itself, worthy of giving this hash the 'good run' accolade. 

Those attending that were awarded Down Downs were: 

Hare Captain Oates modelling
lost property (coat)
1. Diarrhoea (Undertaker).
2. Beefeater (FRB and appearing super-dry).
3. Trianal (FRB and misty glasses - carried on running past the On Inn).
4. Seaman Stains (stand in for welcome back Organ Stops).
5. Artless Dodger (latecomer, walker and something about coughin'.)
6. Captain Oates (for successfully laying a good and normal trail).

Trail as done by Durex

Friday, 10 October 2014

QH3 Run 844. Hathersage Thorpe Bunkhouse Weekend

Thorpe Farm Bunkhouses
RUN #844
Date : 3 - 5 October 2014
Location: Thorpe Bunkhouse, Hathersage (S32 1BQ)
Hares: Durex and Butcher's Dog
Weather: Wet Saturday morning but clearing to be sunny and dry
Pack size: 33

The first weekend in October is our traditional bunkhouse hash and this year we returned to the Thorpe Bunkhouses in Hathersage. There was the usual cross-cultural exchange between the Quorn and Norfolk hashes with a couple of strays from Yorkshire. During Friday night the extended dry summer weather came to an end. Glad I wasn't one of the campers. However, our RA Butt Plug worked really hard to organise dry sunny weather for the walk Saturday afternoon and the hash trail on Sunday. It was pretty cold first thing Sunday morning when I got up to set the trail with Butcher's Dog - first icy windscreens of the autumn.
The weekend timetable orchestrated by our GM B*gger, otherwise known as the Fat Controller, was as follows: 
08:30   Breakfast is available in the dining car       
B*gger - Fat Contoller for the weekend
09:30   End of Breakfast service
09:44    Departure for Higger Tor  (Continental timings +1hour)
16:34    Arrival from Higger Tor
18:00    Dinner is available in the dining car  (Dress code applies)
19:00   Evening cabaret in the Lounge
22:00   A General Knowledge quiz in the Bar
23:00  Carriages
08:30   Breakfast is available in the dining car
09:30   End of Breakfast service
11:00   Departure for 844 trail
13:00   Awards Presentation in the Lounge
14:00  Carriages

The three barrels of beer from Nottingham Brewery settled quickly and drinking commenced early. When travel documents were issued by B*gger at 22:00 on Friday, the theme of 'HiggOrient Express' started to take shape.
Saturday we did our usual Peak District walk though this year with a slight twist. Travellers were not warned beforehand but the 'walk' commenced with a train ride from Hathersage to Grindleford. Trying to get hashers organised for the designated start time was like herding cats. To our surprise, Chicki was only 5 minutes late and as a consequence we got to the railway station 20 minutes early. 
All aboard for Higger Tor!

The walk was in three parts, the first part being from Grindleford station up to the Longshaw Estate. This was just over an hour's walk and the wooded area provided some shelter from the rain. Things of note were: the stone-age double bed; the variety of tree specially grown for making wooden toilet seats; and an ideal stream for Pooh sticks. 

Pooh sticks on the Longshaw Estate

The estate café and the Fox House Pub provided an ideal first stop which split the group into two. Indeed, as a couple of pints of beer take longer than coffee and cake (especially bearing in mind how slow Too Tuf drinks beer), a third of the pack remained behind in the Fox House to finish drinks whilst the rest headed for Higger Tor. 

Trig point on Cowper Stone
Much to our surprise the entire group, Underlay included, opted to do the complete walk, even though the leaders' promise of 'not too much up' proved to be a falsehood. The sun was shining nicely by the time we got to the top of Higger Tor where packed lunches were consumed and the slow beer drinkers were given time to catch up. B*gger had written a comprehensive guide to Higger Tor, 95% of it made up! Up and up we went onto Stanage edge via the Cowper Stone before starting the final part of the hike down towards Hathersage, The nine-mile walk loosened us up for the weekend. Well done to Underlay for making it all the way around! B*gger arrived back at the bunkhouse at precisely 16:34 - the weekend was going well to schedule. Beer and lots of cake at the end of the walk, what more could a hasher want?
Norfolk lead the way in showing how to dress for dinner - Riff Raff, Hugonaut and WC
Many dressed appropriately for dinner, oriental costumes being most popular. There was no prize but WC and Hugonaut would get the award for being the best dressed. Goblin and her helpers served up samosas and pappadams for starters, followed by lamb curry, cheese and biscuits with port. The Fat Controller (B*gger) kept us entertained all evening with games and a quiz. Beer and wine flowed. During the proceedings unnamed Norfolk hasher Chris got hash handle - Deliar - a consequence of admitting to using partial truths during the games.

The Sunday r*n was a fitting Peak District Hathersage trail. Diarrhoea made the trip up from Nottingham just for the day - was it worth crashing the motorbike for? The trail passed by Little John's grave before heading upwards and towards, but not quite, Stanage Edge. Those who contributed most to reducing any beer wastage (including Wimpy and Too Tuf) generally opted for the walkers' short-cut. Most persisted for the entire trail. As a finale, all attendees were treated to a Hope Valley ice cream before the closing circle led by Butt Plug with input from Riff Raff. The hares (myself and Butcher's Dog) were awarded a popular 42% for the trail. 

It was a great weekend and enjoyed by all. Many thanks to the core of Quorn Hashers who looked after the planning and execution of the weekend. Particular thanks go to B*gger and Goblin who put a lot of their time into making the weekend a success.

On On...Durex

Hash trail #844 as laid by Durex

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

QH3 Run 846 The Willowbrook, Gedling, Nottingham

RUN #846
Date : Monday 29th September 2014
Location: The Willowbrook, Gedling (NG4 3HQ) 
Hare: Chicki and Underlay
Weather: Warm and just about dry
Pack size: 11

Tonight it was over to the eastern extremities of our hashing area. This proved a good choice in view of the fact that from early evening anywhere west of the M1 was getting the first real rain for more than a month. We left home in the dark and gloom with a definite feel that autumn was here and the hours of daylight were now less than the hours of darkness. Indeed, tonight we had to switch to 'hashing in the dark' mode.
We had a dream hare team of Chicki and Underlay. Contrary to expectation, both found their way around the trail they had laid, an ideal length and well-laid hash with good checks and around interesting terrain. Malteaser took a tumble into the stinging nettles and Butt Plug was also faller. Fortunate for the hares that the Beer Mistress and RA are not considered that important. Hash rules say it is an automatic hash shit only if the GM gets injured or lost. Pity it was too dark to see the embryonic Gedling Country Park, these were very challenging night-time manoeuvres, especially the large park area. Trianal managed to find the quick way across the fields rather than following the trail around the perimeter.  At one point there were two packs following different parts of the trail, torch-lights were seen going in different directions.
Rain drops were felt as the circle began back at The Willowbrook, a newly refurbished Castle Rock pub, so guaranteed good ales. DDs went to Trianal (SCB); Diarrhoea (misdirecting the RA); B*gger (general whinging and complaining that it was dark); Malteaser (falling over); the hares for a 57%! trail; and Tanya for a welcome back.
That's the way I saw it.... On On.....Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Monday, 22 September 2014

QH3 Run 845 Jolly Farmers, Shepshed

RUN #845
Date : Sunday 21st September 2014
Location: Jolly Farmers, Shepshed (LE12 9EP) 
Hare: Wallington
Weather: Late summer sunshine
Pack size: 14

Hash records (Runs 1 - 843) only list three previous runs from Shepshed, the last being nearly 20 years ago, and none from the Jolly Farmers. Yet our hare Wallington described a Mango trail set from here - must be one of our missing runs? Nice to be back to a normal hash trail format, the hare clearly demonstrating
Our normal simple hash markings were used today
our simple hash markings (see photo), though he didn't mention arrows or question marks. The latter confused a number of hashers into believing it was a kicked out check, just as well it didn't point over a cliff. Today a holding check sign meant "wait for the hare to catch up" rather than "wait here for the hare to give you a lift in his car".

This week Captain Oates set off like a greyhound  maintaining a respectable distance from our normal FRBs right up to the fourth check. Here I happened to follow him down a false trail for about half-a-mile, or so I thought. My abuse about not running on flour was apparently directed at a non-hasher.
A sofa was available en route
for the weary
Plenty of tarmac on the run but this was offset with some good woodland trails, including a few Wallington specials that led the FRBs to follow more than three blobs down a false trail. A good river crossing looping under the track kept B*gger happy though the directional arrows confused Captain Oates. Skids with her long stripy sock was able to stroll through stinging nettles but didn't make her go any faster. Unlike Chicki.
Interesting sights on the trail included an amazing topiaried garden, and then there was that sofa. And, how often to you stumble upon Robin Hood and his merry men? Some extreme fly tipping had left a large sofa a good way from the road. With a freezer nearby maybe someone was in the process of moving house.
The welcoming pub proved to be an ideal hash On-Inn, Butt Plug our RA leading our outside circle in the sunshine. Down Downs were awarded to:
...henceforth in hashing circles
you will be known as Dope
1. Captains Oates for misinterpreting the picture on Too Tuf's shorts;
2. & 3. Too Tuf and Diarrhoea peeing on the hash, the latter in a corn field - 'corn fields have ears and now we know they have eyes as well';
4. Wallington, the hare, for a 42% good trail;
5. Josh finally got named - Dope so we now have a family of hashers named Heroin and Dope;
6. Chicki got tangled in nettles ('laso-rated'). She was also dobbed-in for suggesting she could play Pooh-sticks on a stagnant lake; and finally
7. Durex for the redesign of the website using 'magic Durex scripts'. 

That's the way I saw it....On On..Durex

Trail as done by Durex