Tuesday, 30 September 2014

QH3 Run 846 The Willowbrook, Gedling, Nottingham

RUN #846
Date : Monday 29th September 2014
Location: The Willowbrook, Gedling (NG4 3HQ) 
Hare: Chicki and Underlay
Weather: Warm and just about dry
Pack size: 11

Tonight it was over to the eastern extremities of our hashing area. This proved a good choice in view of the fact that from early evening anywhere west of the M1 was getting the first real rain for more than a month. We left home in the dark and gloom with a definite feel that autumn was here and the hours of daylight were now less than the hours of darkness. Indeed, tonight we had to switch to 'hashing in the dark' mode.
We had a dream hare team of Chicki and Underlay. Contrary to expectation, both found their way around the trail they had laid, an ideal length and well-laid hash with good checks and around interesting terrain. Malteaser took a tumble into the stinging nettles and Butt Plug was also faller. Fortunate for the hares that the Beer Mistress and RA are not considered that important. Hash rules say it is an automatic hash shit only if the GM gets injured or lost. Pity it was too dark to see the embryonic Gedling Country Park, these were very challenging night-time manoeuvres, especially the large park area. Trianal managed to find the quick way across the fields rather than following the trail around the perimeter.  At one point there were two packs following different parts of the trail, torch-lights were seen going in different directions.
Rain drops were felt as the circle began back at The Willowbrook, a newly refurbished Castle Rock pub, so guaranteed good ales. DDs went to Trianal (SCB); Diarrhoea (misdirecting the RA); B*gger (general whinging and complaining that it was dark); Malteaser (falling over); the hares for a 57%! trail; and Tanya for a welcome back.
That's the way I saw it.... On On.....Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Monday, 22 September 2014

QH3 Run 845 Jolly Farmers, Shepshed

RUN #845
Date : Sunday 21st September 2014
Location: Jolly Farmers, Shepshed (LE12 9EP) 
Hare: Wallington
Weather: Late summer sunshine
Pack size: 14

Hash records (Runs 1 - 843) only list three previous runs from Shepshed, the last being nearly 20 years ago, and none from the Jolly Farmers. Yet our hare Wallington described a Mango trail set from here - must be one of our missing runs? Nice to be back to a normal hash trail format, the hare clearly demonstrating
Our normal simple hash markings were used today
our simple hash markings (see photo), though he didn't mention arrows or question marks. The latter confused a number of hashers into believing it was a kicked out check, just as well it didn't point over a cliff. Today a holding check sign meant "wait for the hare to catch up" rather than "wait here for the hare to give you a lift in his car".

This week Captain Oates set off like a greyhound  maintaining a respectable distance from our normal FRBs right up to the fourth check. Here I happened to follow him down a false trail for about half-a-mile, or so I thought. My abuse about not running on flour was apparently directed at a non-hasher.
A sofa was available en route
for the weary
Plenty of tarmac on the run but this was offset with some good woodland trails, including a few Wallington specials that led the FRBs to follow more than three blobs down a false trail. A good river crossing looping under the track kept B*gger happy though the directional arrows confused Captain Oates. Skids with her long stripy sock was able to stroll through stinging nettles but didn't make her go any faster. Unlike Chicki.
Interesting sights on the trail included an amazing topiaried garden, and then there was that sofa. And, how often to you stumble upon Robin Hood and his merry men? Some extreme fly tipping had left a large sofa a good way from the road. With a freezer nearby maybe someone was in the process of moving house.
The welcoming pub proved to be an ideal hash On-Inn, Butt Plug our RA leading our outside circle in the sunshine. Down Downs were awarded to:
...henceforth in hashing circles
you will be known as Dope
1. Captains Oates for misinterpreting the picture on Too Tuf's shorts;
2. & 3. Too Tuf and Diarrhoea peeing on the hash, the latter in a corn field - 'corn fields have ears and now we know they have eyes as well';
4. Wallington, the hare, for a 42% good trail;
5. Josh finally got named - Dope so we now have a family of hashers named Heroin and Dope;
6. Chicki got tangled in nettles ('laso-rated'). She was also dobbed-in for suggesting she could play Pooh-sticks on a stagnant lake; and finally
7. Durex for the redesign of the website using 'magic Durex scripts'. 

That's the way I saw it....On On..Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

MH3 Run 255. The Hollybush Inn, Breedon on the Hill

RUN #255
Date : Monday 8th September 2014
Location: The Hollybush Inn, Breedon on the Hill (DE73 8AT) 
Hares: Oriface and Gobalot
Weather: Lovely late summer evening
Pack size: about 15

You wait for a hash then three come along at once! The calendar conspired to have the second Monday of the month after the first weekend so East Midland Hashers had the opportunity to do AH4, QH3 and MH3 on 3 consecutive days. An opportunity taken by Diarrhoea and myself.
Nice to see the Hollybush has reopened again. Always a nice venue for a hash. Hares notified us of a slight change of plan to the trail due to a stroppy farmer. You wouldn't have guessed. A sensible length hash with good checks, most of which were in the first half. The promised great views were a ruse by the hares to make us think we'd be going to the top of the hill, something the trail didn't do though several checking hounds tried. 
In the circle Trianal was punished for basically being a FRB. Durex had a DD for worrying the MH3 GM over the weekend by suggesting as many as 20,000 people would be in Mickleover for the water slide. Other DDs went to: Seaman Stains (competive walking -what's the hash coming to when one of the walkers gets involved in the checking!); K2 (welcome back); Steve (newcomer to the MH3); and the hares of course for a good run.

Trail as done by Durex

Monday, 8 September 2014

QH3 Run 843. The ExperiMENTAL run. Dry Dock, Leicester

RUN #843
Date : Sunday 7th September 2014
Location: The Dry Dock, Leicester (LE2 7TF) 
Hare: Captain Oates
Weather: Glorious sunshine
Pack size: 11

Hashing started in 1938 and in the subsequent 76 years many thousands of hashes have been spawned worldwide. The collective experience means all operate within the bounds of a loose set of rules, rule one being 'there are no rules'. Forget tradition - today our hare decided to experiment with the usual trail format to bring us an entertaining and memorable trail. An experimental trail with an emphasis on the MENTAL bit. Where should I start. So much to report I even had to write down some notes.
Yesterday  our hare was seen at the Ashbourne Hash in Uttoxeter enquiring whether anyone had a map of the south of Leicester. The On Inn had been selected on the basis that the when the hare had driven by it looked a cool place, promised real ales and allowed dogs outside. Only the latter was true, though probably not an active policy of the pub alone. 
New Hash markings for pack 1 and pack 2
The pub car park was a pay-and-display (not popular for a hash) and it was noted that the hare had purchased an all day ticket. Hounds were seen debating whether 2 or 4 hours would be enough. Then we got to the interesting bit. We were introduced to some new hash markings, something akin to html computer coding (see photo). 
The seven hounds present at this location on the southern extremity of our hashing area (it will be closer for me to get to our away bunkhouse weekend in October) were split into two groups. Each group was to follow its designated trail (P1 and P2) with promised fish hooks, holding checks and a croissant stop.
The hare, after previous tuition from B*gger on the
use of waymarkers, kindly provided one of his own.
In my group was B*gger and Diarrhoea and we worked well together to make make progress to the first holding check outside the railway station. Brilliant idea to split an already small pack into an even smaller group in a city area with numerous false trails across dual carriage-ways crossable only at long-delay pelican crossings. It was a glorious sunny day and we wanted to be out running in the countryside. This wish was granted when the hare's master plan(?) became more apparent at the railway station holding check. Earlier, the day became more confused when a third group of hashers (Butt Plug, Chicki and Too Tuf) arrived late having been misdirected by the wrong postcode on the website. Another pre-trail briefing over the phone was necessary but the newcomers mistook the outer bracket on explanatory signs outside the pub as a directional arrow, unfortunately pointing the wrong way out.
Croissant Stop marked on trail
At the railway station it was disclosed that our hare had planned a train journey as part of the trail but for a long list of reasons this would have been totally impractical. Instead, our lone hare intended to ferry hounds in his tiny car out of the city. Luckily, I was in the first group to be transported, a 3-mile car journey where the hare gave a good impression of not knowing where he was going. Other groups apparently got bored at their holding checks waiting for our hare and wandered off. The countryside bit of the trail had some interesting markings including a very authentic waymarker made by the hare specially for B*gger. The redeeming part of the trail was a croissant stop though we did arrive at this point just as the hare was arriving to hide them. Here two groups were reunited and the decision was made to head for home even though the hare hadn't had time to lay the end of the trail. 
At the On Inn could things get any worse for the hare? Yes. The one beer, that well known 'real ale' Doombar, ran out whilst the Down Down beers were being prepared. The hare had a lager DD, done in 3 parts.
Other DDs were given to: Diarrhoea (the only one to have access to a map on his techie phone but took the longest route back); newcomer Meryl on her first Quorn hash was named Heroine, either for directing Too Tuf into the path of a car or rescuing him from it; B*gger finally got his 400-timer shirt on his 423rd run; Chicki as webmaster took responsibility for the erroneous postcode; and Too Tuf had the last DD on the grounds that it would be the last beer he got in this pub.
Normally at our awards night we look for the shortest, longest, shiggiest trails etc. We're going to have to introduce a whole new load of categories for this trail. A trail which will go down in Quorn Hash history and talked about in the same revered terms as Run 557 (two hares and two different trails from adjacent pubs).
That's how I saw it...On On....Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Sunday, 7 September 2014

AH4 Run 54. Bramshall Road Park, Uttoxeter

RUN #54
Date : Saturday 6th September 2014
Location: Bramshall Road Park, Uttoxeter (ST14 7PF) 
Hare: Wriggle
Weather: Warm but overcast
Pack size: 11

Those travelling from the north and east of the hash location would have come through dull misty drizzle. This was not the weather forecast for today! Fortunately for the RA, arriving at Bramshall Road Park it was dry but overcast. Moist arrived just on time for the run but was nervous about being allowed to park without paying. GM Horse's Arse was present to welcome us all to RUN 54 (note to ASB about her run numbering errors) and confuse the pack with his explanation of hash markings. We have to remember Wriggle uses the cross to mean, very logically, 'cross here' on a busy road.
This was a long Wriggle trail, a runners run (I recorded 8.5 miles) so I enjoyed it. It would have also suited virgin hasher Steve, a struggling athlete. There were short-cuts and a walkers trail, so everyone was kept happy. Perhaps with the exception of One Loose who arrived late and started going around backwards where the On Out and On Inn crossed over. Indeed the marked On Inn was long, particularly when there was already 7.8 miles on the clock.
The main part of the hash, the circle and social bit, was held a mile down the road at the Old Bramshall Inn. With food arriving, a rapid circle was held inside.
DDs included Mickleover Hash GM Dobber (welcome back after a long absence); newcomer Steve (also cautioned about use of words such as racing and winning and using mobile phone in the circle); Diarrhoea (usual not wearing fleece for running); Moist (criminal recently fined for parking offence); Captain Oates (for attending today's hash rather than doing  a recce for his Quorn Hash tomorrow); and One Loose (welcome back, arriving late and going around backwards). The latter also confessed to soon disappearing off to New Zealand with his family - so a temporary farewell?
The hare got a vote of 42% for the trail and was thanked for a good run.
That's the way I saw it.
On On....Durex
Trail as done by Durex