Tuesday, 28 June 2016

QH3 Run 908, Navigation Inn, Breaston

RUN #908
Date : Monday 27th June 2016
Location: Navigation Inn, Breaston (DE72 3BP)
Weather: Dry summer's evening with sunshine
Pack size: 9

Eighteen months since we were last here, and the weather certainly much warmer, our June Monday hash was from the Navigation Inn, Breaston. Already grumpy because of Brexit, I now found myself having to lay a hash trail on a night when England had a game in the Euro football championship. At least the pub had a TV in the bar and I could watch the end of the match. But things did get even worse. England recorded their worst result ever loosing 1-2 to Iceland. I was now grateful to have been doing a hash trail instead of watching the match. Two Euro exits in one week that will be remembered for far longer than this hash!
The trail itself headed south from Breaston, crossing fields that the week before had been under water following some torrential thunderstorms. At least with our RA we always know it is going to be sunny and dry for the trail. 
Malteaser did have shoes to run in after claiming for most of the week that she'd left her £100 running shoes behind at last Sunday's On Inn. They were in fact at home in the airing cupboard.
Jelly Knob went down on the hash again, this time landing on his nose, fortunately with no damage but without much sympathy from the pack. Some parallel checking and then calling 'On On' on paths both sides of an impenetrable hedge by 'twins' Barritone and Malteaser confused the pack somewhat and allowed the SRB to catch up.
The trail as set was engineered to be a perfect five miles though, with plenty of checking, some hashers ran nearly six.
Chicki as RA led the circle in the Navigation's beer garden. DDs went to:
  1. Malteaser and Barritone 'twins' wearing the same T-shirt, Barritone was adjudged to be the copier and got the DD;
  2. Too Tuf for his Denver 'Mile High Humpin' hash T-shirt;
  3. Jelly Knob for going down on the hash again;
  4. Butt Plug - repeated mobile phone interruptions;
  5. B*gger - latecomer;
  6. Ballcrusher for having a fanny pack; 
  7. The Hare Durex. No sheep, plenty of horses and olympic platforms. No referendum needed to award this 100%; and
  8. Too Tuf was selected to finish off the DD beer whilst demonstrating his beer mat collection.
That's the way I'll remember a fairly normal hash in an otherwise momentous week in the history of the UK.....the hash goes On and On

Trail as set by Durex
Trail as swept by hare

Sunday, 19 June 2016

QH3 Run 907. Plough Inn, Normanton on the wolds

RUN #907
Date : Sunday 19th June 2016
Location: Plough Inn, Normanton on the wolds
Hares: Chicki and Too Tuf
Weather: Overcast but dry
Pack size: 10

There was a time when many of the QH3 regulars either lived or worked in Keyworth so hashes in this area were frequent. Now perhaps once a year, and today we returned to the popular venue of The Plough. The hares were in London the day before so this was a live hare. To mark this the pack set of promptly at 11:00 to give us a chance of catching the hares, though this prompt start was interrupted by an incoming call to Sweet Pea.
We had to work hard at the checks which kept the pack together but bought time for the hares to complete the trail before we did. At the back of BGS there was a stream crossing, observed by most but not Malteaser and probably not IP and Sweet Pea who were too far back to be observed.
Being Father's Day Butt Plug shortcut along the A606 aiming to leave early for an appointment elsewhere. Meanwhile the rest of the pack followed Jelly Knob up towards Clipstone wood convinced this must be the way, marked by bird shit rather than flour, and surely the hares wouldn't set the trail down the busy A606 which has no pathway for pedestrians. Yes they would, so we can truly say there was new 'paths' on this run. Butt Plug actually didn't shortcut but arrived back along the correct trail 5 mins before the rest of the pack. We've not had such danger/excitement running along a main road since we last did the A606 outside Nether Broughton, also a Too Tuf and Chicki trail.
Despite thundery downpours all week our trail was of course dry. You would expect this for the RA's own trail. This meant we could enjoy sitting in the extensive gardens of the Plough. Chicki led the circle, with the exception of the run discussion, awarding DDs to: (1) Jelly Knob for leading the pack astray following bird shit rather than flour;  (2) Barritone for a No 4. haircut, it is the sheep shearing season; (3) Sweet Pea and IP welcome back (taken by the former); Butt Plug (represented by look-alikee Ballcrusher??!!) for leaving early; (4) Malteaser, for 'floating' over the bar at the stream crossing; and (5) the hares for a 40% trail. It was originally given 42% but the pack thought this too generous and, taking into account postal votes, required some degrading. No thanks then to the hares for stepping into set the trail at fairly short notice when maybe they might have preferred to stay in London!

On On .....Durex

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

MH3 Run 276. The Horseshoe, Tatenhill

MH3 Run 276
Date: Monday 6th June 2016
Location: The Horseshoe, Tatenhill
Hare:Captain Oates
Weather: Dry and Sunny
Pack size: 14

Captain Oates' trails are always something to look forward to and today's run was no exception. You only have to look at the GPS map trace of the trail (link below) to see his imaginative approach to trail laying. This was not your ordinary symmetrically shaped route. Who else would make us run three quarters of a mile along one side of a fence and then back along the other side? The National Forest with its extra permissive paths makes such interesting routes possible. The first check set the tone, three blobs of flour (four if you use the Gobalot counting method) then a plan B at a public footpath buried in stinging nettles, i.e. return to the check and go somewhere else. The trail laying strategy worked well. The Artless Dodger caught up even though he arrived 20 minutes late, Trianal was kept in view for most of the run, and even the walkers were forced to do a decent trail and some checking. The pack was kept together, for this I was grateful as I am slowly getting back to running. Even at the aforementioned trail down both sides of the fence I declined to accept the obvious shortcut and follow the walkers. Short-cutting and then publishing the GPS map does not do the trail full justice, so I felt obliged to do the whole trail. Lengthwise this was relatively short (3.8 miles), though I didn't do the checking others hashers were kept busy with. Time-wise it was just right taking not long over an hour. No complaints with nice weather and a new location for the hash, though with the return of B*gger to hashing we all noted that his complaints had been missed.
The circle was held in the beer garden shared with the occasional quacking of ducks and the farting of two hairy pigs, smelt though not always heard. Dobber led the circle awarding DDs to: Artless Dodger (20 minutes late); Trianal (staying with the pack this week); Gobalot (unable to count flour blobs); Catflaps (missing a check and so misleading the walkers); Ballcrusher (must be summer now he's seen on hashes); B*gger (welcome back, we've missed his complaining); Oriface (already a cripple with a foot injury managed to twist his other ankle); and the hare, Captain Oates, who for this excellent sheepfest and trail was awarded the accolade of a good trail.

Well done Captain Oates, oN oN ...Durex

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 905. The Boat Inn Cromford

RUN #906
Date : Sunday 5th June 2016
Location: The Boat Inn, Cromford
Hares: Butt Plug and Underlay
Weather: Dry, warm and sunny
Pack size: 14

The hare said he had to search for hills in Cromford. He didn't have to look too far. The altitude change records of 2015 (224m Jingle Balls run from Cromford) and 2014 (268m Manifold Inn) were easily surpassed with a healthy climb of 282m. The common denominator in all these trails? Butt Plug was the hare for all of them.

A reasonably sized pack for a trail on the margins of our hashing area, no doubt nice sunny weather encouraging hasher to come out for the day. Many of those attending made use of the train to Cromford.
It was a trail of ideal length (5.5 miles) with some excellent views but the hilliness of the area meant that most took more than 2 hours to complete. It didn't taken long for latecomers B*gger, Goblin and Captain Oates to catch up with the pack. Good checks repeatedly held up the FRBs and Lily the Pink, Puss in Boots and Premature took a detour following blobs of sand rather than flour. 
There were plenty of scenic stops on the way around - our new enthusiastic hash flash (Lily the Pink) posts photos to the Quorn Hash House Harriers Group on Facebook.
We were able to enjoy the summer sunshine in the beer garden until Chicki started the circle. Awards went to: 1. Pre-Mature for asking Too Tuf the previous evening if today's trail would have hills - in the Peak District!; 2. Too Tuf for misinforming Pre-Mature that there would be no hills. As hash cultural attaché his recruiting methods in the Pottle of Blues at the last trail were also called into question; 3. Jelly Knob who never stood still whilst waiting for the ON OUT and then needed to lie down in the buttercup meadow three quarters of the way
After the speculation at run 905 regarding the
sighting of crocodiles, their presence was confirmed
on run 906!
around the trail; 4. Lily the Pink who led a group of hashers down a false trail on the basis of blobs of sand. Also for a poorly elbow as a result of going down on a fisherman during a run earlier in the week; 5.Puss in Boots for poor checking at the first check; 6. B*gger for claiming he had a tree house in his garden, namely a plank of wood in a tree; 7. Goblin for claiming her husband was a 'country priest driver', the derivation of which I will not repeat for fear of slandering our GM; 8. Malteaser, for supporting Goblin during the aforementioned discussion, identified as GM abuse; 9. Captain Oates, latecomer; 10. Ballcrusher, falsely blamed for following blobs of sand (see 4) and also causing a stampede of bullocks; 11. Barritone, for trying hard to look as though he was not asking for directions whilst in a conversation with a gesticulating member of the public; 12. Underlay for knee problems, which brought into question as to what Butt Plug does to his women; 13. Durex for insulting Underlay, or merely pointing out the laws of physics regarding the fact that 3 hashers were counterbalancing a picnic table with Underlay sat opposite; and 14. The hare Butt Plug who received a mere 41.5% for the trail because he didn't manage to lose Captain Oates. A harsh vote for something that must be a favourite for trail of the year. That's what you get when you give people a chance to vote in a referendum...

On On .....Durex

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

QH3 Run 905. Pottle of Blues, Beeston

RUN #905
Date : Tuesday 31st May 2016
Location: Pottle of Blues, Beeston
Hare: Barritone
Weather: RA holding back the rain
Pack size: 14

The Pottle of Blues is another fine addition to the real ale scene of Beeston and an excellent location for the start (and especially finish) of a QH3 run. The trail too matched the appropriateness of the On Inn , a well laid urban route that had a lot of off-road and green spaces. The kind of pub and trail we would expect from Barritone haring. The RA also played her part during an evening when most expected to get wet but, despite a bit of perspiration in the air when we started, this was a dry run. 
From my unaccustomed view from the rear I was able to appreciate some good hashing today. Firstly, there was Butcher's Dog's excellent ON ON call along the path/check to the clock tower. This propelled me from 500m adrift at the back to second FRB when I realised a simple shortcut was there for the taking. Secondly, some excellent checks towards the end meant that even at walking pace I, along with Miss Takemenow, managed to keep up with the pack.
The Pottle of Blues was a small venue but cosy and friendly with a great choice of real ales and cider. Chicki led an indoor circle awarding the following;
1. Welcome back for Huffamoose; 2. Welcome back to newcomer of last year - Slug; 3. Butt Plug - supervisory checking; 4. Malteaser - not looking out for her invalid husband and then moving the car to another car park without telling him; 5. Pre-Mature - lazy checking; 6. Trianal - 'which hash were you on?' and later running atop crocodiles; 7. Lily the Pink - for contributions to the run discussion; and 8. Miss Takemenow, although a resident of Beeston still used her car to get to the hash. The run discussion had the usual complaints about no sheep or prostitutes. More unusually, Too Tuf thought he saw Trianal doing a James Bond style run across crocodiles at the university lake, or were they just stepping stones? A public vote awarded the astonishingly high accolade of 48% for the trail which the hare Barritone received to the tune of hashy birthday. 

Thanks Barritone for an excellent trail and On Inn

On On .....Durex