Sunday, 22 April 2012

One hundred uses for the QH3 snood

Snood in its anticipated  mode of use
(as modelled by Goblin)

To celebrate its 25th anniversary of hashing, the Quorn Hash gave its members a present - a purple snood with the QH3 logo embroidered on it. The origin of the word snood comes from "the pendulous skin over the beak of a turkey". There is also a verb "to snood" meaning to bind or confine the hair with a snood. Indeed, there must be a hundred ways to use a snood.....


Face Mask . Bank robbery 1
  1. Neck scarf
  2. Head scarf
  3. Head band
  4. Hair band
  5. Face mask 
  6. Wrist band
  7. Handkerchief
  8. Bandanna
  9. Dish cloth
  10. Towel
  11. Boob tube
  12. Muff
  13. Ear warmer
  14. Knee support
  15. Table mat
  16. Sieve cloth
  17. Windscreen cleaner
  18. Emergency dog shit bag
  19. Man's sarong (short people only)
  20. Blindfold
  21. Bandage
  22. Seat warmer
  23. Wrapping a present
  24. Wall decoration
  25. Small carpet rug
  26. Door mat
  27. Pointy object cover (e.g. gun)

Head Scarf
hair band

Pointy object cover (e.g. gun) - Bank robbery 2
(hide the logo!)

uses 28 to 100........over to you!

QH3 Run 757. The Hunting Lodge, Barrow-upon-Soar. 22/04/2012

This hash marked two noted events. Firstly, it was hare Wallington's 25th anniversary with the Quorn Hash - he started on Run No 2, on a hash from The Hunting Lodge, Barrow-upon-Soar, also today's venue. Secondly, it was the Quorn AGM when the old committee is thrown out and a new one "elected".

Despite a miserable weather forecasts, which would have done justice to Too Tuf being RA, the rain showers missed Barrow-upon-Soar and we didn't see any substantial rain until we were on our way home.

A dozen hashers and a hare assembled for the start, including Too Tuf and Chicki, on time for the second hash in a row.It was Barritone who was late by 2 hours because of a bike puncture on the way to this hash.

River crossing after 5 minutes
After five minutes we had our first obstacle - a river crossing. I say river crossing, it was only 3" deep and most did what they could to avoid getting their feet wet. Best performance was Sweet Pea who kept us all entertained but failed to fall in. Too Tuf lurked around with his pole again, helping harriettes and poking other hashers into the stream.

My trail, including checks, for Run 757 was a mere 4.5 miles, so a relatively short hash which got the thumbs up from the pack. In the pub we were treated to chip butties, AND a cake, specially baked for the occasion by Goblin. Chicki also handed out the QH3 25th anniversary snoods which caused much discussion on how to use them. (One hundred ways to use a snood will be a subject for a separate Blog posting). 

For once I was alert and wrote down the down-downs awarded:

..from henceforth, will be known
as Floater!
1. Sweet Pea - trying to run like Butcher's Dog
2. Goblin - filling the stream/taking the piss
3. Bugger - being called back to pick up dog poo
4. IP - for an interesting discussion on dog poo
5. Floater - got her hash name today during a DD for using the bridge and not crossing the river properly (she's part of the Diarrhoea, Enema and Little Squirt clan)
6.Chicki - sexual innuendo putting the hash location down as Belvoir (pronounced beaver) upon Sore
7. Wallington - for a good run and 25 years of hashing completed with the Quorn Hash.

Goblin wearing the new hash snood

..and finally, the new Quorn H3 Mismanagement Committe

  1. GM - Malteaser
  2. RA - Razor
  3. Curates - Too Tuff, Bugger, Transit & IP
  4. Hash Cash - Chicki
  5. Song Masters - IP & Sweet Pea
  6. Web Master/Hash Horn - Barritone
  7. Beer Mistress - Wallington
  8. Minor Part - Diarrhoea
On a point of order, in the likely event of the RA not being present, if raining curate Too Tuf takes over the role. If he too is absent, then its the next shortest curate.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

MH3 Run 226. Blue Bell Inn, Melbourne.16/04/2012

The Blue Bell Inn, Melbourne, Derbyshire
 Rain was promised for this evening but didn't arrive until this hash had packed its bags and gone home. Oriface was the Hare, 4.05 miles of hashing was promised, and as you would expect from this hare, it was a runners' run.

An unusual sight was seen in the first 200 m of this trail - Dobber running (or was he tripping) up the first check and pretending to be a FRB.

We've run  many hashes from Melbourne but this was the first time I think we'd ventured into the newly planted "Poppy Woods" with an excellent selection of permissive paths. Bugger running with a "saw" knee and Trianal wheezing with a "sore" throat meant Lightning Rod and Butcher's Dog were the leaders of the pack tonight. I just tried hard to keep in front of Goblin so I didn't have to look at her bright pink T-Shirt. Ballcrusher was fresh out of winter hibernation and faded from the front after the first mile. Gobalot suffering from the abundance of oil seed rape pollen, brought up the rear,leading a fairly sizable pack of walkers who decided to do the full trail.

An indoor circle and a jug of beer, sinners, hares and numbers 6 and 12 were suitably rewarded with half-a-pints of the worst beer. Apparently that note book Dobber uses at the end of the hash is full of random numbers.
Nice to be running out in the countryside in daylight again, and much of it on virgin hash trail.

We were promised 4.05 miles and I got 4.47 miles - MH3 Run 226 as Durex ran it.

Monday, 9 April 2012

AH4 Run 31/QH3 Run 756. Bull's Head, Belper Lane End, nr Belper. 07/04/2012

This was a joint hash run from the Bull's Head, Belper Lane End, with the Ashbourne House House Harriettes and Harriers and the Quorn H3, supplemented by some notable visitors from the Birmingham Hash. Not wishing to give a biased view of a trail set by myself, Bugger was commissioned as scribe and RA for the day. It was certainly the best ON IN circle of the year!

Scribe by Bugger.

Quorn H3 Run 756 / Ashbourne H4 Run 31
The Bulls Head, Belper Lane End, Saturday 7th April 2012.

Hares - Durex and Malteaser
As far as my records go, apart from weekend events, this is the first time QH3 have hashed on a Saturday, but that didn’t stop a good dozen making their way to Belper Lane End to join another dozen from Ashbourne (plus a couple from Birmingham & a stray from Eastbourne – more later) for the 2nd Joint trail.  An availability of public transport allowed Too Tuf, Chicki, Freya & Barritone, all to be at the pub before 11am, although it had meant a very early start for some.
Horse’s Arse got the circle underway being the AH4 RA, as the AH4 GM (Durex) was the busy being the hare (along with Malteaser), he then requested if QH3 could supply their own RA & yours truly was nominated, as I have a Minor Position.

As the circle was being formed, Wriggle felt a bit moist (she said it was rain) & duly got a coat out of the car & put it on – that’s confidence in the RA! The pack turned left out of the car park to an immediate check, IWB showed his hand early – in his ability to not only go the wrong way, but to go a long way the wrong way, the antenna (bunny ears) that he was wearing was obviously not tuned into the Hare’s (& dad’s) frequency.

The trail went up, along an ancient footpath, then a bit of road before turning off into the fields, lots of tricky stiles to negotiate, especially if you have a normal sized Labrador, luckily I had managed to offload mine onto Totem Pole & Enema, who ‘persuaded’ her through the tightest ones.  Down the hill, through the gorse bushes to the first of 3 river crossings – this one had easy stones to use, back up the hill, through the herd of noisy cows, more nasty stiles before a descent back down to the river and this time a bridge.  Assistant hare Too Tuf tried to set a bar (the hare had somehow forgot to set one?) to catch out the hashers behind him, but he was caught in the act and so the bar was ignored.
Too Tuf offering his pole to
Wriggle then Chicki

Another hill to climb (I can see why Malteaser elected to do the beer stop, as there def. more up than down), the FRB’s completely losing the trail at this point due to the lack of use that these cracking paths get.  Once back on trail & the check sorted, we went down into the valley for the third & final river crossing, this time the bridge was well barred, I took the true hashers approach – jumping in upstream of the bridge & wading down steam under the bridge, whilst the rest of the pack fannied about trying to find away to jump across, Sir Walter Riley (Too Tuf), luckily found a good stick to hold, to assist not only Lady Chicki but Lady Wriggle as well, across the 2ft wide chasm.

Up the Bluebell covered bank & out onto the tops, with the banks of snow still evident in the distance, the hare insisting that yesterday it was waist deep???? Only a few more evil stiles, and then half mile of road (where we found Tweeny with horn & hound) & we were at the beer stop and Easter Egg Hunt – Yes, Malteaser had not eaten it all, but taken the time to hide chocolate eggs around the disused quarry – one of first to arrive was truffle hound Bess (the aforementioned Lab) who showed a talent for finding & eating the eggs, foil & all.  Also here, climbing the quarry walls were Stretcny (BH3) & Mrs Ox (Eastbourne), having not found any eggs, Stretchy then built a fireless fire for us all to stand round – no I don’t know why either. 
Wallington finds the golden egg

Beer and Easter egg stop


Having been replenished with ‘French lager from Tesco’ we set off on the 1.5 miles to the pub, and after Wriggle was caught front running (“what does ‘on three’ mean?”) there was the mother of all hills before a descent (in the rain) to the pub.  A cracking trail was followed by a cracking circle – Horse’s Arse then decided that as I had ‘volunteered’ I could do all the circle, which the AH4 GM requested be held in the bar.

Scrooge christening his new shoes
DD’s were awarded to: Durex, Malteaser & Too Tuf for laying the flour; Chicki & Horse’s Arse, for him showing her how use her rim, the SCB’s;  Wriggle, Wallington & Wheelchair;  Stretchy & Mrs Ox for playing knickers’ top trumps, Barritone for only being able to count to 1; IWB for going astray; Totem Pole for calling my dog the wrong name; Too Tuf & Chicki for help on river crossing and to both Scrooge & Die Rear for wearing new shoes.

Well that’s how I remember it, Bugger, Minor Position, Quorn H3.

Run as done by Horse's Arse.

Compare with the trail as set by Durex Run 31.