Tuesday, 29 September 2015

QH3 Run 881. The Smithfield, Derby

QH3 RUN #881
Date: Monday 28th September 2015 (19:15)
Location: The Smithfield, Derby (DE1 2BH)
Hare: Durex
Weather: Clear, dry, autumnal and dark
Pack size: 9

Autumn has arrived with cool crisp evenings and the QH3 going urban as darkness now shrouds our evening trails. With the A-team missing tonight the pack relied on others to do the checking - more practice needed here. It was a welcome back to Clementine and Silent Pants, the former no longer a FRB but walking around at some pace was involved in many of the checks which kept the pack together. With it being such a lovely clear moon-lit evening the hare had decided to give the hounds a good long trail. Many, with plenty of false paths checked, did more than 6 miles as we went out through Chaddesden before heading back home from the edge of Pride Park. Even the unlikely checks along the edge of the A52 slowed down many of the front runners.
Our evening runs our now in the dark but today our trail was well
lit by a 'big' moon

The Smithfield is a popular hashing venue and we had the pub to ourselves this Monday evening. Disappointingly for the hare, Captain Oates did not get lost which must have been a contributory factor in this last-minute trail only being assigned a 'good' rather than 'excellent' run. 
...On On...Durex

QH3 Run 880. The Old Volunteer, Carlton

QH3 RUN #880
Date: Sunday 19th September 2015 (11:00)
Location: The Old Volunteer, Carlton, Nottingham
Hare: Butt Plug
Weather: Dry and sunny
Pack size: 10

Didn't manage to make this trail. Contributions to this report welcome!

The hare claims this was 90% new trail and completely flat.

Hash rule No. 1. There are no rules on the hash.
Hash rule No. 5e. Never believe what the hare tells you.

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

MH3 Run 267. Hawk and Buckle, Etwall

MH3 Run#267
Date: Monday 14th September 2015
Location: Hawk and Buckle, Etwall
Hare: Seaman Stains
Weather: Dismal but no rain 
Pack size: 12 

It is always nice to have a hash trail in your 'own backyard'. Less than five minutes to get to the On Inn and a familiarity with all the local footpaths that is useful now it gets dark before we have time to complete the trail. Indeed with such dismal weather, and a monsoon-like down-pour less than half-an-hour before the On Out, it was dark before we even started. Credit to the RA, it didn't rain on the pack. It was just Seaman Stains the hare who got his usual soaking whilst setting the trail.
Today if you found flour you were ON which made the checks dead easy and left the SRBs no chance of ever catching up. Captain Oates led from the back all the way and with B*gger managed to loose sight of the pack in the dark and without torches. This meant that progress involved investigating all four sides of a dark field before the exit (hidden by cows) could be found. Most of the pack had managed to change, drink a pint and have several chip butties before they arrive back. It just had to be Captain Oates again out for some time.
This was Horse's Arse's first Mickleover hash trail but he  disappeared before Dobber started the circle - Lightning Rod took his DD. The chips at the On Inn were much appreciated and Oriface was rewarded for pointing out that this meant we were not only a drinking club with a running problem, but we were also a body building club eating such food. Beer and Loathing stood in the circle dressed as though he had just come off the ski slopes complete with a a man-bag stolen from a London Transport conductor. His DD was followed by Malteaser representing the only harriette on this evening trail. Durex was also given a DD for the concern he showed when B*gger and Captain Oates went missing on the trail.
Finally, the hare Seaman Stains was thanked for setting the run - remember never put your washing out on a day when he's laying a hash trail.

On On...Durex
Trail as done by Durex

Sunday, 6 September 2015

QH3 Run 879. The Stumble Inn, Long Eaton

QH3 RUN #879
Date: Sunday 6th September 2015 (11:00)
Location: The Stumble Inn, Long Eaton (NG10 1JF)
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Lovely sunny day
Pack size: 12

The RA (Chicki) was one of the hares today so we would expect nothing less than a lovely dry sunny day, and so it was.

Hashing two days in a row is not enough for Diarrhoea, he came to Long Eaton by bike, a Brompton folding bike, which he folded and put in Wallington's car boot in slightly more time than it takes Too Tuf to down 3 pints of beer. In a similar vein, Butcher's Dog and Lincolnshire Sausage took time off from beating themselves up on their bikes all week, as demonstrated by all the bruises and sore ribs, to do a more leisurely hash trail. Even Shagulater and Miss Take Me Now had a Sunday free from flying and became a hash statistic for the first time this year.
This was predominantly an urban hash though use of parkland and canals meant we did get away from the roads of Long Eaton. With the walk from the On Inn to the nearest car park, this trail was a prefect 5 miles long.
In the circle the RA showed that time travelling on the bus to work is not wasted, she obviously uses this time to write Down Down songs. We had two welcome back DDs - Shagulater (the black Milk Tray man) and Miss Take Me Now who does a very good impression of a teapot when doing a DD. There were also DDs for Horse's Arse who let everyone know he was stiff and Diarrhoea for football pitch invasion. Several (B*gger and Sausage) were punished for hare/RA abuse, something easily done when Chicki fulfils both roles. Durex was rewarded for finding Shagulater's towel on the way from the car park. 
Finally the hares were thanked for a good trail having stepped in to hare at short notice.

The hareline until the end of the year offers plenty of opportunities for wannabe hares - get your trail booked now!
...On On...Durex

Saturday, 5 September 2015

AH4 Run 62. The Dapple Grey, Uttoxeter

AH4 RUN #62
Date : Saturday 5th September 2015 (11:00)
Location: The Dapple Grey, Uttoxeter, ST14 8AZ 
Hare: Wriggle  
Weather: Dry and mainly sunny 
Pack size: 11

After a summer holiday break in August, the AH4 resumed its monthly hash in Uttoxeter. GM Horse's Arse welcomed everyone to Run 62. Frightening to think that the summer has passed us by already.

The pack size was made respectable by a welcome back from the Dubai Hash (Ratchet) and three newcomers from the Uttoxeter R*nners who had come along to see what hashing was about (Jennifer, Sarah and Kay).  Kay was accompanied by Ian who kept appearing at different points around the trail in his car so maybe we should put him down as the 12th member of today's hash.

The trail had several points were paths were used twice. One of these was at the ON OUT where Ratchet and myself headed out in one direction and everyone else the opposite way, all on the flour. Encountering the ON INN markings on the path I was just about to return to GO when the pack went past at the top of the road. Further on, 4.5 miles along the trail (see GPS map trace), I found flour a long way down a check on a path we'd previously run and I very nearly got stuck in a continuous loop. Fortunately I noticed no one had followed me and I rejoined the pack in the correct direction some time later. As we headed home towards the Bridge, Diarrhoea had a feeling of deja vu, correctly so as the the hare was reusing that part of the trail twice.

We all arrived back more-or-less at the same time, including Enema who must have got a tip-off from Diarrhoea that it was time to leave B&Q.

In the circle the RA gave Ratchet a welcome back Down-Down (DD) closely followed by Diarrhoea who served as an example to the athletes that we frown on competitive running - he arrived back first on today's trail. The three newcomers had softie DDs, practice obviously needed in this department. Enema's appearance from the direction of the retail park did not go unpunished, though Moist's miscall down a false trail did.

The hare was congratulated on a good run that ultimately didn't loose anyone or confuse anyone (too much). Thanks Wriggle for a good trail enjoyed by all. Even the cows gave Horse's Arse a break from their intimidation.

There was widespread consensus that someone called Andean Sex Beast, not seen since January, should set the next trail!

That's the way I saw today's hash trail....On On.. Durex