Tuesday, 27 December 2011

QH3 Run 746, King William IV, Sneinton, Nottingham

Our last hash of the year from the King William IV in Sneinton, Nottingham, a
very urban location but the hares promised a rural run. A small dedicated pack in need of some Christmas exercise including a welcome back to Hot Down South. Wonderful weather for December, sunny and not too cold. Clementine claimed responsibility as RA by right of marriage. After a short stretch of tarmac it was up past the Windmill, not often seen on the Quorn hash in daylight. Diarrhoea and IWB were checking well and the pack moved along fast,  that's what I thought as I was well at the back by the time we got to the woods above the Race Course. A quick scramble up an outcrop of Sherwood Sandstone, never more than 25 m off flour, put me back up with the FRBs and Malteaser.

Then we had the rural bits with lots of mud. For me it was the muddiest hash of the year on account of getting a right plastering when I went skidding flat on my back. Hot Down South and IWB meanwhile had gone in opposite directions, both calling ON ON, and both on flour. In the case of a Hot Down South good shortcut along a false trail that needed a bar.
There was a lot of hills on this trail and the ON IN seemed to have most of the downhill bits.

If Amazon had managed to send me the right Christmas present I could tell you how long this trail was. Alas that will have to wait for the new year -by then the hand therapy exercise ball should have been replaced by a wrist watch GPS. I guess it was about an hour's run - just right for a bank holiday hash trail.

Excellent choice of pub for a hash with a good selection of real ales. An indoor circle was led by Clementine assisted by Beer Mistress Wallington. DDs for everyone including a couple of pints for the Hares who had managed to set a good urban rural run, only the sheep were missing.

Not only does our hash have a running problem, Chicki is now telling people we have special needs! Well done Chicki for managing to get my 400 hundred-timer top to me by only my 405th run. Disabled indeed! Such a nice change from tankards. Only another 3 years and I'll have passed my 490 runs done on the Bandung Hash.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

QH3 Run 745, Blidworth Wood, north Nottingham (18/12/2011)

At 11:15 there were just 5 hashers (Durex, Malteaser, Barritone, Diarrhoea and Clementine) and no hare. Had Shagulater turned up to set the Quorn Christmas run? Each of us set off in a different direction in the search of flour and it wasn't too long before we heard a cry of ON ON from Clementine. Woods, with their numerous paths, make good hash trails with many checking opportunities and Blidworth Woods was no exception. With a small pack this was going to be a hard-found trail.

Ten minutes into the run we were joined by Bugger who had abandoned Goblin at the car park whilst there was still a chance to catch the pack. A further ten minutes as we cut back into the wood not far from the start  I spied Chicki and Too Tuf setting off. A twenty minute start was never going to be enough to catch us up.

It was an excellently laid trail with the checks keeping everyone together. Dressed as Santa I got much advice from people walking their dogs as to which way the Reindeer had gone!

With no pub on location we had to make do with a cup of coffee from the mobile snack back until Shagulater arrived with his Irish coffee and Goblin with the mince pies. With the excellent sunny weather there could only be one stand-in RA and I awarded Shagulater a good run.
So that was the 2011 Quorn Hash Christmas run as I saw it....

Friday, 23 December 2011

AH4 Christmas Run, Doveridge

The RA was berated before the start of our Christmas hash - I'd brought the
Our Christmas run harse - Posionous Pussy - 
with the Andean Sex Beast
sleigh but no snow. Wet and cold, and icy in parts, but couldn't Horse's Arse manage just a little snow? Right on cue, as an assortment of Santas, elves and just boringly dressed hashers hit the trail, great big snow flakes began to fall. It was ******** freezin'. I'd thought that with running shorts, vest and full Santa costume on top, I would be red hot running around the trail.

 The Trail as run by Horse's Arse

Bags of flour were used on this trail so it was easy to follow, not so much to the usual sound of "ON ON" but "Ho Ho Ho!" Fish hooks kept the pack together (what's a group of Santas called?)  including one that gave us maximum exposure to all the motorists on the A50.
The thoughtful hare even organised a beer stop - she knows how to get a "good run" award!

After the beer stop the pack split into two - flying  and walking Santas.
Beer stop on the AH4 Christmas run, 17/12/2011
Naturally I was with the flying Santas following the trail as it weaved its way around Doveridge. It was still very icy in parts though
Crooked Squire was the only known victim of a slide on the ice. I had just started to warm up by the time we arrived back at PP's house.

We were treated to hot mulled wine, copious turkey sandwiches and other miscellaneous nibbles. The RA led the circle in PP's living room. Punishments were handed out to those who didn't observe the fish hooks, including the RA himself whom the Hash Puppy was quick to dob in. Just look at his GPS map link on this page to see the proof! Thanks PP (and your helper) for setting a great Christmas run and hosting the AH4 on this Christmas treat.

So that's another hash year completed. Happy Hashing to all you Ashborne Hashers in 2012 from Durex and Malteaser.

MH3 Run 222, Mason's Arms, Mickleover

Hashing heaven! A run from our local pub except today, on account of the biting wind and rain, it was much more pleasant to drive to the Mason's Arms for the traditional Mickleover Hash House Harriers' Christmas run. The temperature - cold - was about right for Christmas but the wind and rain left us sheltering in shop doorways before the ON OUT, which, when it came, coincided with the rain stopping. After a loop around central Mickleover, loose shoe laces saw me at the back of the pack with the walkers. Everyone else had disappeared off-trail leaving Dobber the hare to send me, and me alone, along the the right trail. When you are by yourself on a dark wet windy urban hash it can be very hard going. So many choices of direction but at least, despite the rain, the flour had stuck. After about 10 minutes I was reunited with the rest of the hashers who had only cut a minor corner off the trail. There was a lot of corners and loops on this trail, clevery set by our experienced hare in the warren of residential streets and alley ways that is Mickleover.

It is bad enough now-our-days to have to struggle to keep up with Bugger and Malteaser, but being repeatedly overtaken by bright plastic orange cardboard recycling bags, emptying their contents all over the streets of Mickleover, I must be getting old! As the hash run continued numbers declined like "ten green bottles hanging on the wall". After each check we seemed to lose another hasher. But back in the pub nobody was missing in action.

The usual copious mince pies were available providing enough calories to keep us hashing well into next summer. No hash subs were paid and hashers were treated to free beer without the need to have done a misdemeanour. It was Christmas! Well done Dobber for a good run. Hashy Christmas everyone.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

QH3 Run 744, Kings Head, Sutton Bonnington

Hash Curate (Transit) was smugly claiming responsibility for the sunshine when the pack eventually got going by about 11:15, unusually joined at the start by Chicki and Too Tuf. Barritone just about made it on time too after a long cycle from Beeston. The hare promised us a 5-mile trail and we got 7 miles instead. With Butcher's Dog as hare it was very much a runner's run.
Diarrhoea set off at quite a pace assisted by getting at least the first five checks right. I passed him on the sixth, typical Diarrhoea going off trail for a while only to reappear near the front some time later.

Two third around and Too Tuf struggling to keep up with me demanded a holding check to let the well-spread pack catch up. An eager Diarrhoea sneaked off during the holding check misleading Malteaser and myself believing that was the right way to go. Of course it wasn't which led to a half-mile check back to catch up with the reassembled pack being herded around by Butcher's Dog. Sherpa, Transit, Barritone and Gate Crusher, unseen since the start of the trail kept the hash tradition of SCBs and were already downing the first pints when we arrived back at the Kings Head (missing apostrophe noted - how can several kings have one head?).

The weather had deteriorated and spots of rain were falling by the time IP, Sweet Pea and Wallington got back to the pub. The cold but dry circle saw Goblin christen new shoes (who dobbed her in for those Bugger?). Remember next time you buy new shoes check they are easy to drink beer from!  The hare was awarded a "good run", FRBs punished, and Malteaser for hastling a total stranger's dog. It was black and white, but it did have a willy (thanks to Sweet Pea for that observation) and was twice as fat a Frayah. Even Chicki wasn't fooled.
That was the way Durex saw this hash run.

Local Hash internet and mail links - updated 4th December 2011

These are some web/mail links for our local hashes.
Last updated 4th December 2011

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

QH3 Run 743, The Wolds, West Bridgford (28/11/2011)

Too Tuf and Chicki chose what must be their nearest pub to set a hash trail from, yet it was no surprise they failed to make the 19:15 start. Had we lost the hares and become an alopecic hash? Can't say we were bothered as we easily found the ON OUT of freshly laid flour across the ASDA car park. A well-contructed trail along paths I've not run, or perhaps they just looked very different in the dark. Checks were good and caught out Butcher's Dog on most occasions keeping the pack together so even Sherpa could keep up until she deemed a shortcut was necessary. Last run Goblin was causing some concern for going faster than she should, this trail it was Bugger's turn to play at being a FRB arriving back at the pub after 4.7 miles ahead of everyone including Butcher's Dog who disappered up a long check. The hares claim to have caught us up two-thirds of the way around - rather thought they had been lurking behind a bush waiting for us, a claim strenuously denied.

The circle was led by the real RA Silent Pants. Husband Clementine was chastised for wearing non-hashing gear that had been used previously (i.e. not washed), the former being the more serious hash crime.  Malteaser, who incendently insists on ironed and well-pressed hash T-shirts, got a DD for blinding people with her head torch, most used torches for other purposes like finding their way. The hares got DDs, not for a good run (not that it was declared anything other than a good run), but for a collection of sins. Chicki (one of the hares remember) expressed gratitude that the pack had marked checks so she would know the way to go! Bugger justifiably got the final DD for pretending to be an athlete.

And so that was the way of Quorn Hash Run 743, a run which will never be repeated.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

QH3 Run 742, Chequers, Stanton-by-Dale (20/11/2011)

This was more like autumn, a damp and foggy day, befitting that Bugger should take on the RA role and responsibility for the weather. A good sized pack obviously aware of Rasher's reputation for setting good trails. Horse's Arse and Diarrhoea were the persistent FRBs though I had my time at the front of the pack when everyone else was reluctant to come between that big bull and his cows. Diarrhoea did have a knack of disappearing for a while only to reappear some time later at the front of the pack - a sign of an experienced hasher. We passed some lovely scenery, including the ruins of Dale Abbey, too bad the fog restricted the vision. Only Malteaser in her "Miss Wimpey" fluorescent top could be clearly seen, though if you followed her you would have found yourself on a mushroom forage.

Goblin disconcertingly seemed to be keeping up with the FRBs, she must be doing some secret training. There was a sizeable pack of walkers who must have done part of the trail but were only observed at the ON OUT. Then there was Too Tuf and Chicki and hound doing there own hash trail, I guess it must give Too Tuf some satisfaction to feel as though he is leading the pack.
This is the trail as done by Horse's Arse, evidence of plenty checking there...

Bess doing a down-down for 100 runs.

We had a 100 timer in the circle, one of the real hash hounds - Bess. The usual number of sinners were rewarded including a memorable DD from Sweet Pea. Opening your mouth that wide, whilst pouring beer into it that fast, is always likely to result in a blow out. Rasher had stepped in to hare this run at the last moment and, apart from the fog, was reckoned to have done a pretty good job.

That was the way run 742 was.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

MH3, Wetmore Whistle, Burton-on-Trent 7/11/11

This month's calendar has conspired to give us three hashes in three days - legs are getting a bit weary. The latest of these was the Mickleover Hash House Harriers trail No. 221 from the Wetmore Whistle in Burton. Dobber was absent again, can anyone remember when he last missed two hashes in a row?
Parker and Lady P were the hares, I set off mindful that Parker has a good record of losing hashers on his trails. Not this time, the hare shepherded us around on his bike, giving short-cut advice to back markers such as Wriggle. The pack had divided neatly into two from the off, runner and walker packs of about equal size. Bugger measured it at just over 6 miles done at a cracking pace of just over an hour. Pack was disappointed as we were promised an hour and fifteen minutes.
Pigeon Hole, never short of a word or two hundred, led the circle in Dobber's absence. The Zulu Tango Sierra joke went down well, though Chicki required a bit of coaching to understand it.
Next trail on 12th December is from the Mason's Arms in Mickleover.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

QH3 Run 741, The Plough, Stathern (06/11/2011)

This was a Vale of Belvoir trail starting from the village of Stathern in the shadow of the big ironstone escarpment. It was always going to be a hilly run. At 11:05 there was just myself, Malteaser, Wallington and the hare. Silent Pants and Clementine had set off on an extra loop practicing for the Turkey Trot half-marathon - very unhashlike behaviour. Latecomers Too Tuf, Chicki, Sweet Pea and IP doubled the numbers and we set off for the inevitable climb up the hill. Chicki claimed the glory for the nice sunny morning, a skill obviously not learnt from Too Tuf. It was a challenging steep uphill climb in the mud and little wonder Malteaser was given plenty of clearance on the way up.
Chicki led the circle and rightly punished Sweet Pea for the kind of blonde moments usually associated with herself. And then there was the surprise to find this was my 400th Quorn hash, the surprise being the committee were actually organised enough to get the information right on the actual date.
Hare Butt Plug was congratulated for a good run setting a splendid trail in nice hashing country. Best Quorn run of November 2011.

AH4, Cricketer's Arms, Oakwood (05/11/2011)

For this hash we left the Derbyshire drizzle and made a rare hashing trip into the Staffordshire countryside near Alton Towers. It had rained much the previous day and the Hares (Mamma Rose, Andean Sex Beast (ASB) and Hash Puppy) were quick to make excuses about the flour being there "once upon a time". They even prepared sealed maps to be opened in case of emergency, like getting hopelessly lost. Their fears were unfounded as Mamma Rose and Hash Puppy more-or-less did a live hare and managed to get the whole trail relaid without being caught by the pack. This was greatly helped by a cheeky downhill check near the start with three blobs of flour that distracted the hashers for a good 10 minutes. Then there were the fish hooks. ASB sweeping slowly at the back meant the FRBs had a lot of extra running. Butcher's Dog just about ran every false trail but must have been gutted to find she only ran two of the three fish hooks. Wheelchair ran a canny trail approaching the fish hooks at walking pace - only runners have to observe them, i.e. turn around and return to the back of the pack. However, he was caught running to the last one and showed exemplary observance of hash rules and did the run to the back. Such was the nature of the run that hash puppies Butcher's Apprentice and Lord ? led the ON-IN down the hill into Oakwood, fortunate to be advised that the arrows they wished to follow were actually the way we went out.
We had a cosy circle in a room of our own in the Cricketer's Arms and the new T-shirts started to sell like cream cakes after Lent. We had a hashy birthday for Malteaser; the RA got done for stupidly immobolising his car after a hash for a second time; plus the usual finale of NODDYs (Not Offered a Down Down Yet). And there was also some namings made easy by earlier misfortunes (Head Banger) and  surfers against sewage attire (Floater). That's how I remember it. Another fine AH4 run - well done the hares for laying such a well-marked trail!

Hash Trail as run by Horse's Arse

AH4 T-shirts now for sale (hasher not included)!

Sunday, 30 October 2011

Hash Trails for November

Ashbourne Hash House Harriettes and Harriers
Hash Run No. 26
Saturday 5th November 11:00
The Cricketer's Arms
The Square
ST10 3AB
Old timers ASB and Mama Rose, assisted as always on the quiet and in the background by Non Runner, have a treat in store for you! The trail will be 5 miles with, of course, obligatory fish hooks for the FRBs to make their delight last longer!
Shiggy as always and stunning views around the Alton countryside.

Quorn Hash House Harriers
Hash Run No. 741
Sunday 6th November 11:00
The Plough
LE14 4HW
Hare: Butt Plug. Lovely village pub, nestling under a wooded ridge. Real ales, dog friendly.

Mickleover Hash House Harriers
Hash Run No. 221
Monday 7th November 19:15
Venue: Wetmore Whistle,
93 Wetmore Rd,
Burton on Trent, Staffs  DE14 1SH
Hares: Parker and Lady P

Quorn Hash House Harriers
Hash Run No. 742
Sunday 20th November 11:00
Venue: Chequers, Stanton-by-dale , DE7 4QF
Hare: Rasher

Quorn Hash House Harriers
Hash Run No. 743
Monday 28th November 19:15
Venue: The Wolds, West Bridgford, Nottingham, NG2 7HZ
(next to ASDA)
Hares: Too Tuf & Chicki

QH3 Run 740, Red Dress Run Nottingham (29/10/11)

Final Quorn hash of the month was the annual red dress run set by Clementine. This started in the Lincolnshire Poacher with a real hash trail down to The Bell, unfortunately closed for refurbishment. The Hare side stepped this minor inconvenience and rerouted the trail up the road to The Dragon. Surprise red dress of the evening was Eager Beaver's nine minute pregnancy in The Dragon. Does Rasher know?

Eager Beaver's nine minute pregnancy in The Dragon
On to the Royal Children where Barritone got the customary groping from one of the local tarts. Malteaser enjoyed her hashy birthday with a bounce around the pub to the live music. I had the usual "off" beer which they now seem to serve in this part of less frequented Nottingham.
Next stop was the Canal House. Well done Nottingham for the excellent display of costumes for Halloween. Many costumes had nothing to do with Halloween (clowns?) so the red dresses fitted in unobtrusively. There were sufficient hashers in red dresses to make the event not look too perverted though numbers declined as the evening passed. With a bus back to Derby before midnight, and an awareness of avoiding a repeat trip to A&E like after last year's event, the Canal House was our last stop. The rest of the evening for the hash's red dress run remains their problem.

Durex's hair now growing vigourously post-chemo. Malteaser with as many birthdays as Heinz varieties.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

White powder on the streets again

Whilst setting the QH3 trail last Sunday I had only been in the Watermead Country Park a couple of minutes before the park ranger was after me. What was I was doing with the white powder? Once explained there was no problem but it reminded me that already twice this year our white powder on the streets has attracted media attention:
Smutley's hash in Kimberley at the end of May: QH3 Notoriety spreads!

Mickleover Hash at the start of the year passing the BBC Radio Derby studio: Radio Derby Interview

Casting my mind back over the years I remember Jetslag's QH3 run from Frisby near Melton Mowbray when I policeman was sent out to investigate the suspicious behaviour of an "arab looking man". The policeman actually followed the trail. Also, during the anthrax scare in the US, I was followed by a mini-bus full of plain clothes policemen whilst laying a trail around the leafy suburbs of Breaston.

Some hashes have created major incidents, with several instances of the evacuation of shopping areas in the US:

Two Hares Charged with Class - D Felonies in Connecticut - Hashing - tribe.net

We do need to be aware of the potential upset when we are laying trails through "sensitive" areas and publicise what a hash is about as often as we can.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

QH3 Run 739, Watermead Country Park near Syston (16/10/11)

Hot on the heels of yesterday's 10 mile Ashbourne hash we found ourselves having to get up early to set a trail in the Watermead Country Park starting from the Hope & Anchor pub near Syston. A new hashing area for all but the real old timers - Wallington, Too Tuff and Chicki - though I doubt if Chicki could remember where she ran last week let alone 15 years ago!
It's not all hard running. QH3 in Watermead Country Park
Yet again splendid weather for an October Hash. We all sat outside the Hope & Anchor drinking beers in the October sunshine. Another 11 miles clocked up today, that's 21 miles this weekend. My legs feel every mile of it! Nice to see Scab and Sleazy Rider who manager to arrive even later than Too Tuff and Chicki. Up the Duff was another latecomer who finally got back to the ON INN only after everyone except the hares had left. Hash puppies Whose my Daddy and little Windy Miller did the whole run and a lot more whilst in the park. 
Hash Trail as run by Durex

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

AH4, Cock Inn, Clifton (15/10/11)

Having decided the the Ashbourne Hash House Harriettes and Harriers runs regularly on the first Saturday of the month, here we were hashing on the third Saturday. The postponement was my suggestion as the hash would have clashed with the QH3 Buxton weekend when the first Saturday of October was that lovely sunny day, the hottest on record. Not to worry, this Saturday was equally wonderful weatherwise and a new hashing location. And boy what a great run! We certainly got our money's worth, Horse's Arse clocked up 10 miles on his GPS for the long run. There was a beer stop, lots of shiggy, the usual troublesome cows, compulsory stream crossings and some really difficult checks. These enabled latecomers Wheelchair and Flying Bottom to catch-up though I'm sure Flying Bottom would have preferred to have done the 6 mile "short" run. Great hash by Ur'in Trouble.

Hashers get a bullocking - upset by Poisonous Pussy's suggestion "they would look nicer on a plate"
Malteaser's feet are definitely over the line. That bar is there to stop you crossing the bridge!

Visitors and Newcomers being welcomed in the circle

Hash Trail
....as recorded by Horse's Arse

MH3, Malt Sovel Spondon (10/10/11)

Second hash run of the month and again set by Butcher's Dog, this time from the Malt Shovel in Spondon. A surprisingly good run for Spondon. I don't much like this urban hashing - now it gets dark early we tend to run around lit streets rather than out in the countryside. Nice pub as well. Overwhelming vote of "good run". Strange to have a Mickleover Hash without Dobber being present. He was apparently making an exhibition of himself in Watford.

Monday, 17 October 2011

QH3 Buxton Weekend: 1-2 October 2011

Malteaser and Skids
First run of the month comes courtesy of QH3 - the annual Buxton weekend based at  Alleyn's School Field Centre, 1 - 2 October. Saturday is a long walk led by Transit, down across Axe Edge Moor and on to Orchard Farm. From there we passed through Danebower Quarries and on to the Cat & Fiddle pub. Unbelievable weather for October. Clear sunny day with the temperature up to 28ÂșC. You wouldn't get many summer days like that! Some returned back to base on the bus, others continued  down to the Goyt Valley and across Berry Clough back to base.

Lots of cake and food for the 25 attending hashers, so much I think it had a significant impact on the beer consumption. We made only respectable progress with the 3 barrels of beer. Shagulater and Miss Takemelater did a star turn with their unique take on the music man.
scottish music man.avi - YouTube
Butcher's Dog set QH3 run no 738 on the Sunday 2 October. My Garmin (Forerunner 201) has now completely had it - I can no longer read the screen so don't even know if it is switched on or off. So no route map to post. It was a good run the highlight of which was the hash pack being terrorised by a herd of cows, especially Malteaser. Serves her right for unusually being a FRB. A good run! Just goes to show what happens when the RA is not there to see to the weather!

Local hash internet and mail links

These are some web/mail links for our local hashes: