Tuesday, 29 November 2011

QH3 Run 743, The Wolds, West Bridgford (28/11/2011)

Too Tuf and Chicki chose what must be their nearest pub to set a hash trail from, yet it was no surprise they failed to make the 19:15 start. Had we lost the hares and become an alopecic hash? Can't say we were bothered as we easily found the ON OUT of freshly laid flour across the ASDA car park. A well-contructed trail along paths I've not run, or perhaps they just looked very different in the dark. Checks were good and caught out Butcher's Dog on most occasions keeping the pack together so even Sherpa could keep up until she deemed a shortcut was necessary. Last run Goblin was causing some concern for going faster than she should, this trail it was Bugger's turn to play at being a FRB arriving back at the pub after 4.7 miles ahead of everyone including Butcher's Dog who disappered up a long check. The hares claim to have caught us up two-thirds of the way around - rather thought they had been lurking behind a bush waiting for us, a claim strenuously denied.

The circle was led by the real RA Silent Pants. Husband Clementine was chastised for wearing non-hashing gear that had been used previously (i.e. not washed), the former being the more serious hash crime.  Malteaser, who incendently insists on ironed and well-pressed hash T-shirts, got a DD for blinding people with her head torch, most used torches for other purposes like finding their way. The hares got DDs, not for a good run (not that it was declared anything other than a good run), but for a collection of sins. Chicki (one of the hares remember) expressed gratitude that the pack had marked checks so she would know the way to go! Bugger justifiably got the final DD for pretending to be an athlete.

And so that was the way of Quorn Hash Run 743, a run which will never be repeated.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

QH3 Run 742, Chequers, Stanton-by-Dale (20/11/2011)

This was more like autumn, a damp and foggy day, befitting that Bugger should take on the RA role and responsibility for the weather. A good sized pack obviously aware of Rasher's reputation for setting good trails. Horse's Arse and Diarrhoea were the persistent FRBs though I had my time at the front of the pack when everyone else was reluctant to come between that big bull and his cows. Diarrhoea did have a knack of disappearing for a while only to reappear some time later at the front of the pack - a sign of an experienced hasher. We passed some lovely scenery, including the ruins of Dale Abbey, too bad the fog restricted the vision. Only Malteaser in her "Miss Wimpey" fluorescent top could be clearly seen, though if you followed her you would have found yourself on a mushroom forage.

Goblin disconcertingly seemed to be keeping up with the FRBs, she must be doing some secret training. There was a sizeable pack of walkers who must have done part of the trail but were only observed at the ON OUT. Then there was Too Tuf and Chicki and hound doing there own hash trail, I guess it must give Too Tuf some satisfaction to feel as though he is leading the pack.
This is the trail as done by Horse's Arse, evidence of plenty checking there...

Bess doing a down-down for 100 runs.

We had a 100 timer in the circle, one of the real hash hounds - Bess. The usual number of sinners were rewarded including a memorable DD from Sweet Pea. Opening your mouth that wide, whilst pouring beer into it that fast, is always likely to result in a blow out. Rasher had stepped in to hare this run at the last moment and, apart from the fog, was reckoned to have done a pretty good job.

That was the way run 742 was.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

MH3, Wetmore Whistle, Burton-on-Trent 7/11/11

This month's calendar has conspired to give us three hashes in three days - legs are getting a bit weary. The latest of these was the Mickleover Hash House Harriers trail No. 221 from the Wetmore Whistle in Burton. Dobber was absent again, can anyone remember when he last missed two hashes in a row?
Parker and Lady P were the hares, I set off mindful that Parker has a good record of losing hashers on his trails. Not this time, the hare shepherded us around on his bike, giving short-cut advice to back markers such as Wriggle. The pack had divided neatly into two from the off, runner and walker packs of about equal size. Bugger measured it at just over 6 miles done at a cracking pace of just over an hour. Pack was disappointed as we were promised an hour and fifteen minutes.
Pigeon Hole, never short of a word or two hundred, led the circle in Dobber's absence. The Zulu Tango Sierra joke went down well, though Chicki required a bit of coaching to understand it.
Next trail on 12th December is from the Mason's Arms in Mickleover.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

QH3 Run 741, The Plough, Stathern (06/11/2011)

This was a Vale of Belvoir trail starting from the village of Stathern in the shadow of the big ironstone escarpment. It was always going to be a hilly run. At 11:05 there was just myself, Malteaser, Wallington and the hare. Silent Pants and Clementine had set off on an extra loop practicing for the Turkey Trot half-marathon - very unhashlike behaviour. Latecomers Too Tuf, Chicki, Sweet Pea and IP doubled the numbers and we set off for the inevitable climb up the hill. Chicki claimed the glory for the nice sunny morning, a skill obviously not learnt from Too Tuf. It was a challenging steep uphill climb in the mud and little wonder Malteaser was given plenty of clearance on the way up.
Chicki led the circle and rightly punished Sweet Pea for the kind of blonde moments usually associated with herself. And then there was the surprise to find this was my 400th Quorn hash, the surprise being the committee were actually organised enough to get the information right on the actual date.
Hare Butt Plug was congratulated for a good run setting a splendid trail in nice hashing country. Best Quorn run of November 2011.

AH4, Cricketer's Arms, Oakwood (05/11/2011)

For this hash we left the Derbyshire drizzle and made a rare hashing trip into the Staffordshire countryside near Alton Towers. It had rained much the previous day and the Hares (Mamma Rose, Andean Sex Beast (ASB) and Hash Puppy) were quick to make excuses about the flour being there "once upon a time". They even prepared sealed maps to be opened in case of emergency, like getting hopelessly lost. Their fears were unfounded as Mamma Rose and Hash Puppy more-or-less did a live hare and managed to get the whole trail relaid without being caught by the pack. This was greatly helped by a cheeky downhill check near the start with three blobs of flour that distracted the hashers for a good 10 minutes. Then there were the fish hooks. ASB sweeping slowly at the back meant the FRBs had a lot of extra running. Butcher's Dog just about ran every false trail but must have been gutted to find she only ran two of the three fish hooks. Wheelchair ran a canny trail approaching the fish hooks at walking pace - only runners have to observe them, i.e. turn around and return to the back of the pack. However, he was caught running to the last one and showed exemplary observance of hash rules and did the run to the back. Such was the nature of the run that hash puppies Butcher's Apprentice and Lord ? led the ON-IN down the hill into Oakwood, fortunate to be advised that the arrows they wished to follow were actually the way we went out.
We had a cosy circle in a room of our own in the Cricketer's Arms and the new T-shirts started to sell like cream cakes after Lent. We had a hashy birthday for Malteaser; the RA got done for stupidly immobolising his car after a hash for a second time; plus the usual finale of NODDYs (Not Offered a Down Down Yet). And there was also some namings made easy by earlier misfortunes (Head Banger) and  surfers against sewage attire (Floater). That's how I remember it. Another fine AH4 run - well done the hares for laying such a well-marked trail!

Hash Trail as run by Horse's Arse

AH4 T-shirts now for sale (hasher not included)!