Tuesday, 29 July 2014

QH3 Run 839. The Risley Park, Risley

RUN #839
Date : Monday 28th July 2014
Location: The Risley Park, Risley
Hare: Durex
Weather: Hot, dry and sunny
Pack size: 10

This was what was left for those that didn't get to go to the Brussels Hash. First lesson of the evening (for Artless Dodger), the Risley Park is not a big open green area. Barritone was reckoned to live nearest to the venue and, on his bike, was last to arrive for his 499th Quorn run, both these earning him a DD. Welcome back to Bummer again who made it 2 runs in two months after an absence of 20 (?) years.

This r*nning territory is well known to Butcher's Dog so it was no surprise that even with time taken for checking false trails she slowly disappeared into the distance not to be seen again until the On Inn. This was rewarded with a DD.

I tried hard to encourage the pack to short-cut the extra loop I'd put in specially for Butcher's Dog but in vain. Only Malteaser cut off the final outward loop so I had to do the whole thing twice. After setting the trail (nearly 8 miles with checks - see below) I then had to do a further 6 miles sweeping it - I really wish I'd included a drinks stop.

Despite being in Derbyshire there were no sheep, probably too close to the Nottinghamshire border. 'Bullocks' was all Barritone could say about the trail. There were, however, splendid views across the Trent Valley on a lovely summer's evening.

Goblin, fresh from the Three Peaks walk to celebrate a big event got the hashy birthday treatment plus a DD. Artless Dodger was spotted resting from the trail eating blackberries and with B*gger (disappearing into the bushes (?)) both were punished with DDs.

Without the need to vote, Durex (me) the hare was awarded the good run accolade and so onto to social drinking.....

Trail as laid by the Hare
Trail as done by B*gger

Sunday, 20 July 2014

QH3 Run 838 Chez Chicki & Tuf, West Bridgford

RUN #838
Date :Sunday 20th July 2014
Location: Chez Chicki & Too Tuf
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Warm and dry
Pack size: 10

QH3 Run 838 - Trail as done by Durex (5.84 miles)
A small pack for this week's hash from Chez Chicki & Tuf in West Bridgford, Nottingham. Was it the thrill of a sub-urban trail on a nice summer's day, the start of the holiday season, the need to do ones hair or just work getting in the way that kept people away?
With a core pack of just five (Underlay and grandchild Amara were slow moving Turkeys and Enema turned up late) meant there was no hiding from checking with both Sausage and Butcher's Dog doing more than their fair share. Sausage was on a bit of a roll (sausage roll?) so I chose to follow him. I even got a lift for the last 10 metres of the trail!

Assistance was provided at the end of the trail!
The sun shone on the ON INN in Chez Chicki & Tuf's back garden. Plenty of food and drink provided by our hosts though there weren't enough hashers present to award the 42% at the run discussion.
RA Butt Plug awarded DDs to: Butcher's Dog (ignoring the RA on the way to the run); Sausage (showing off his cycling injuries); myself (doing the On INN in a wheelchair); Diarrhoea (very old disintegrating hash shoes);  Enema (the hash trail was a second priority this morning); Underlay (taking 16 hours to do the turkey trail); and of course the hares for a good run, the long list of 'deficiencies' listed by the hare outweighed by the provision of a very nice veggie chilli.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

MH3 Run 253. Chequers Inn, Ticknall

Run No: 253
Date: Monday 14th July 2014
Location: The Chequers Inn, Ticknall (DE73 7JH)
Hares: B*gger & Goblin
Weather: Dry but threatening rain
Pack size: 18 

The Chequers Inn, Ticknall is becoming a popular venue for hashing in the East Midlands and the Mickleover Hash returned here for the second time this year. The On Inn remains the same but we have managed many different trails from here and Run 253 was probably the best one yet (see trail GPS map below).
After a week of good summer weather rain was forecast. It was already in the air when we departed at 19:15 but fortunately this never came to anything and we went around the trail in warm dry conditions. Hounds reported a total trail distance of anything between 6 to 7.5 miles though nobody ever knows how far the walkers go - they're the kind of people that don't really care for measuring how far they've exerted themselves. Indeed Lionel was awarded a DD for trying to cut short the walkers route. Lightening Rod and Diarrhoea were officially acknowledged as the day's SCBs though with a good twisting hash trail there was plenty of scope for everyone to shortcut, should the need arise. Except of course for Ballcrusher who was an exemplary hasher and refused to cross bars which resulted in a DD for good behaviour.
Butcher's Dog must have run several miles further than anyone else including one particular false trail twice in response to the hare's question 'Why is Butcher's Dog coming back?' The correct response should have been because there is no flour on that trail but most of the hash took this as a indication that this was indeed the correct trail. A consequence of this was I found myself at the back of the pack with Gobalot and then being led on a tour of the Ticknall archaeological pottery dig.
Ticknall apparently had a thriving pottery industry in the 1530s and Gobalot had a specimen of pottery to show to the circle. This information fell on the deaf ears of more than one hasher and Gobalot had to be given a DD to shut her up.
Pigeon Hole was back amongst us and entertained us with his quick-fire jokes all evening. He got a welcome back DD, or was it a wishful farewell given the standard of the jokes - I still don't understand the Alex Ferguson one.
Pigeon Hole's continued witticisms triggered a memory in Wallington's brain of a Shepshed runner doing the London marathon in 1990, an irrelevance that got him a DD.

"I am just going outside and may be some time." With these words, Antarctic explorer Capt Lawrence Oates set out to meet his death 100 years ago, aged 31, and entered the history books.

Our very own Captain Oates was indeed out for some time, even Seaman Stains walked the whole hash trail faster than Captain Oates ran(?) it. Hares get bonus points for losing Captain Oates, and he gets a DD.

It was a foregone conclusion that the hares (B*gger and Goblin) would be awarded a 'good run', clinched with Goblin's trademark shortcake feet. The trail was a long one but nice to be out around the Foremark Reservoir running along good off-road paths. There's some good hash trails to be done in the National Forest, too bad there aren't many On Inns to start from.

That's the way I saw it.....On On...Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Thursday, 10 July 2014

QH3 Run 837, White Lion, Sawley

RUN #837
Date :Sunday 6th July 2014
Location: White Lion, Sawley (NG10 3AT)
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Beautiful despite Too Tuf being acting RA
Pack size: 13

This was my first missed Quorn Hash of 2014. Shame as it was Barritone's 25th anniversary of hashing and Wallington's 400th run, plus the first trail crossing the 'new' Long Horse Bridge. Thanks to B*gger for the following scribe.

Sunday 6th July, was a busy day on the sporting calendar – Wimbledon final, British F1 and Tour de Yorkshire, however that didn’t stop 13 hashers turning up on a glorious sunny day at the White Lion, Sawley (Derbyshire) including at long last the virgin hasher – ‘Cat’. Local knowledge by B*gg*r – the White Lion used to be his local in the 80’s and Ballcrusher, who lives 3 miles away, ensured that the rest of the pack (mainly Free W*lly) got stuffed with doing some long false trails. 

The trail headed out of the village past the church and along the flood bank to the River Trent, which was then crossed into Leicestershire, then followed upstream to the confluence with the River Derwent and Trent and Mersey Canal. Here the Trent was crossed by the new ‘Long Horse Bridge’ back into Derbyshire before most of the pack managed to safely cross the Trent and Mersey via the lock gates. However, Underlay’s daughter’s dog ‘Temper’ a Staffy, refused point blank to cross the lock gates, resulting in Butt Plug, Underlay and Wallington all returning to the pub the way they had come.

Running along a slightly overgrown path following the lock’s overflow, Cat was heard to ask Debriefed if this is the ‘Urban Jungle’ that the hare had warned about. Having crossed back over the Derwent and the M1, the trail descended into Sawley down the side of the M1 embankment before picking up the real Urban Jungle section of the trail – not helped by disgruntled householders who had washed the flour off the pavement outside their houses.

Back at the pub, Too Tuf, lead the circle (assisted by Hot Air) even though we had both the RA and the curate, who had turned up in time for the circle wearing a shirt & tie. DDs were given to B*gg*r for eating prior to visiting relatives for dinner, Hot Air got most of the Cider she had bought, Goblin got a DD for making cookies in the wrong shape, Free W*lly for various things, the circle was then interrupted by Chicki ripping her clothes off whilst shouting ‘Kill it, Kill it’ in order to extract a very small beetle that briefly landed on her shoulder.

Trail as done by B*gger

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

QH3 Run 836. Kings Head, Sutton Bonington

RUN #836
Date: Monday 30th June 2014
Location: Kings Head, Sutton Bonington (LE12 5PE)
Hare: Durex
Weather: Warm and dry
Pack size: 21

This was a big pack for a Monday evening, no doubt encouraged by the good summer weather. It was welcome back to Bummer, Scrooge and his Mrs, plus a returning newcomer Wesley. Forewarned that Butcher's Dog and fellow 'athletes' would be present I had added an extra mile to the trail - make the most of the long summer evening I thought!

We've hashed in this area many times and the recently planted Diamond Wood has opened up some new hashing trails in what was previously out-of-bounds fields. 

Bummer made the mistake of leaving his keys in Captain Oates' car. Hashers should note that it is the duty of the hare to make sure that Captain Oates is always going to be 'out for a long while'. This objective he achieved walking and talking at the back of the pack with Chicki - this pair were this week's SRBs. 

RA Butt Plug led the circle under the close scrutiny of Durex. Bummer got the first Down-Down (DD), something about being mistaken for an athlete, or two. Second DD went to Wesley for his second coming and being announced at the On Out as the son of Christ (Luton). Scrooge got a welcome back; Malteaser (where do you start?!!); Oriface as 100 timer; and Chicki and Captain Oates for bringing up the rear (Cowing?).

The hare, me, for a splendid run was awarded a mere 42%, marginally better than my assessment of the RA's performance.

That's the way I saw it....

Trail as set by Hare