Thursday, 28 August 2014

QH3 Run 842. The Star Inn, West Leake

RUN #842
Date : TUESDAY 26th August 2014
Location: The Star Inn, West Leake (LE12 5RQ) 
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Dry
Pack size: 10

A rare hash on a Tuesday night as Quorn Hashers usually have something better to do on Bank Holiday Mondays. The evening had the feel of autumn, no more public holidays until Christmas and slow hashers arriving back at dusk. The A-team was out checking tonight, led by Butcher's Dog, followed by myself, Trianal and Shang-lo, a sub-group of hashers raced around at unhash-like speed. The hares were caught 500 m before home and the last few checks were left unmarked just so the slower hashers (Captain Oates, Barritone, Bummer and Butt Plug) and had some checking to do.
In the pub's beer garden Butt Plug led the circle with DDs for Chicki (Hashy Birthday); Shang-lo (Quorn virgin); Barritone (wearing his work pass on the hash) and Captain Oates (for something that must have involved disorientation). The hares were thanked for a good run though didn't achieve the standard 42%.

That's the way I remember it...On On..Durex

Trail as run by Durex

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

MH3 Run 254. New Inn, Shardlow

RUN #254
Date : Monday 18th August 2014
Location: New Inn, Shardlow (DE72 2HG) 
Hare: Butcher's Dog
Weather: Dry with autumnal feel
Pack size: 20

A Butcher's Dog trail is always one where you know you'll get a good run and the New Inn is an On Inn with some excellent real ales on offer (Stairway to Heaven strongly recommended). Ballcrusher on his home ground tried hard not to lead the pack around unless he be accused of using local knowledge to unfair advantage. Instead it was Shang-lo, a triathlete not seen hashing for six or seven years, who set the early pace. We visited all the major waterways - Derwent, Trent and Trent-Mersey canal - and I found another irregular hasher doing his first run with Mickleover (Chris Luton, no hashname yet) trying to keep up with me at the front. B*gger and myself demonstrated that hash experience trumps speed when it comes to sniffing out the correct trail. Behind somewhere Oriface was unsuccessfully trying to catch us pushing the walkers out the way. Not a good idea if that happens to be RA Dobber
Back at the On Inn, most of us saw Barritone for the first time, cycling all the way from Nottingham meant he didn't arrive on time. Being Butcher's Dog's birthday hash, cake was available and this always gets my vote for a good run.

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 841. Poppy & Pint, West Bridgford

RUN #841
Date : Sunday 17th August 2014
Location: Poppy and Pint, West Bridgford, Nottingham (NG2 5DX) 
Hares: Diarrhoea and Captain Oates
Weather: Sunny with a blustery chill
Pack size: 15

This was a hash trail where once again we got two for the price of one. With Diarrhoea as hare we expect nothing less (see report for run no. 823). We got twice the normal length of run - 8.5 miles (though shorter options/cars were available); two beer stops, and; an assault course. 
Captain Oates was posing as a co-hare though clearly, after following him on a few false trails, he knew as much about where the trail was going as the rest of the pack. Diarrohea made use of the locally produced (Sneinton Mill) flour to mark the trail. This was brown and lumpy and in many places looked as though the people of Lady Bay had not enjoyed their meals the night before.
We were told to look out for the Passat Estate for the location of the first beer stop. This is not an area of Nottingham known to me but after just two miles, in the Holme Pierrepont water park, we did find Diarrhoea's car with the usual wide range of alcoholic beverages. I had a bottle of Saint Omer, a strong blonde beer of 4.8% which I'm ashamed to say the hash beer mistress (Malteaser) suggested we water down! I later discover that Saint Omer is not the patron saint of beer - there are many other saints who get this accolade the most popular being Saint Arnold.
I've jogged and raced around the Holme Pierrepont lake dozens of times but never the way today's hare took us. I did not know there are so many off-tarmac trails and an assault course in the woods. Following a shiggy-filled very smelly ravine which most hashers declined, the flour trail led us over an obstacle course, the kind that when tackled by such a bunch of unfit geriatrics usually results in a broken or at least a sprained wrist. We all survived (see photos below).
Apparently there were three nature reserves and the hare kept trying to lead us up dead-end trails to look at some grass growing.
The second beer stop came after 5.5 miles and one third of the pack opted for the 'shorter' route straight back along the road. Enema who was put in charge of the walkers arrived at this beer stop just as the main pack. Excellent timing. Alarmingly, the trail from here continued in a direction still travelling away from West Bridgford. A shower of cooling rain refreshed us. The co-hare (trying to justify his billing) was spotted laying a blob of flour on one of the final checks which caused some confusion and spread the pack out on the 3 mile dash for home. This was led by visiting Donington hashers Mother's Day and young William.
We have a RA this year (Butt Plug) who attends most hashes so one would hope our Curate (Captain Oates) is getting plenty of on-the-job training. There was a big accolade for Barritone who became only the third Quorn hashers to have reached 500 runs. I thought I got a DD for wearing a T-Shirt to match the date - 17th August Indonesian Independence Day. Butt Plug insisted it was because it had some pink bits on it. Visitors from Donington - Mother's Day and young William - were welcomed to the Quorn Hash though Notts TV star Shagulater took on the challenge of William's discarded orange juice. Apparently Shagulater was being interviewed about flying, or should I say the fear of flying - should have talked to some of his passengers!
The hares, particularly Diarrhoea, were congratulated for setting such a memorable run. That left one DD for supposedly 399 timer Malteaser and her performance on the rope walk (an award which would have surely gone to Chicki if she hadn't been away enjoying herself in Norfolk). Actually, on reflection this was Malteaser's four hundredth Quorn run. But two monster timers on one run is too much.
That's how I remembered it.
Malteaser - 400 runs with Quorn and finally netted

Trail as done by Durex

Barritone - 500 Times running with Quorn and the occasional walk in the air

Are you On?

Welcome to the Quorn Hash Mother's Day

Notts TV star Shagulater doing tea pot impression
whilst drinking orange juice

Sunday, 3 August 2014

QH3 Run 840 and AH4 Run 53. Manifold Inn, Hulme End

QH3 RUN #840 - AH4 RUN #53
Date : Sunday 3rd August 2014
Location: The Manifold Inn, Hulme End (near Hartington)
Hares: Butt Plug and Underlay
Weather: Warm and dry
Pack size: 15

This was a joint run between QH3 and AH4 giving a reasonable pack size at a time when many are away on summer holidays. Dedicated hares (Butt Plug and Underlay) camped overnight to ensure we had a trail to run in the Staffordshire Peak District. They must have been mightily relieved that the heavy rain of Saturday was replaced by a warm dry Sunday.
There were quite a few walkers today led by Underlay with a heavily strapped knee. Non-Runner, of course protecting his reputation, was joined by Mama Rose, Enema, Horse's Arse, ASB and Wriggle. The latter two were fresh back from a previous weekend of hashing in Brussels.
Diarrhoea was seen doing a shortcut, nothing unusual in that, it was the hanging from the barbed-wire by his shorts that attracted attention. More of a short rip than a short cut.
For the faster hashers (note I don't use the term runners) the first fish hook proved very unpopular coming after a 100 m stretch of stinging nettles at the bottom of a steep hill. Soon afterwards we found ourselves on Ecton Hill with many 3-D false trails all ending in bars. Thank goodness the hare guided us to the summit (369m). Most hashers were probably unaware of the 3500 years of mining history in the area - I couldn't resist scavenging in an old tailings tip for a bit of galena.
Summit of Ecton Hill

What was Diarrhoea doing?

Wicked checks on the slopes of Ecton Hill kept the pack together so we all arrived On Inn together along the Manifold Trail. Even Wallington for once kept up with the main pack but he did look knackered after completing the full trail which was recorded as anything between 6 to 7 miles.
The circle was squeezed in between different food courses with AH4 RA Durex awarding DDs to: Diarrhoea (shortcutting); Bugger (longcutting); Wriggle and ASB (enjoying themselves in Brussels whilst we had to stay at home); and Non-Runner who didn't run but was reported doing some downhill scree skiing. The hares were thanked for taking the time and trouble to set an excellent trail. We all say it, we must come and do more walks and runs in the Peak District. Finally, we mustn't forget to thank Goblin who yet again provided us all with her trademark shortbread hash feet.

On On into August...

Trail as done by Durex

Shorter trail done slowly by Horse's Arse