Friday, 21 September 2012

QH3 Run 772, The Plough, Ashby de la Zouch. 16/09/2012

Run No: 772
Venue: The Plough Inn, Ashby de la Zouch
Hare: Bugger
Weather: Good enough for Too Tuf not to be RA

At 11:00 there was the hare, Goblin, myself and Malteaser wondering whether this was going to be it for today's run. Then Butt Plug arrived (he was rumoured to be in Spain) transporting the carless Too Tuf, Chicki and Freya. So a well formed circle was able to assemble on the narrow pavement outside the cake shop next to the Plough. Bugger announced there would be fourteen checks on this trail, so there was my challenge for the day - to count them all.
Malteaser provided the first suprise of the day whipping off an undergarment, with one arm in plaster and without anyone noticing, claiming it was too hot. Check 3 was the first one I got correct but was alarmed to see both Malteaser and Chicki running off in a different direction in response to my call ON ON. Distracted myself, and not even at a check, a missed the path to the right and found myself going from front to back in one easy misdirection. Well it was a small pack. At Check 8 I followed the obvious false trail across the bridge over the A511. Too Tuf urging from a distance that I check further whilst the rest of the pack made little progress. It took Goblin with a little local knowledge to find an obvious trail, but with a well hidden entrance, along the south side of the main road. Check 10 also held the pack up well, Butt Plug going a long false trail in completely the wrong direction whilst I went uphill unfortunately on the wrong side of the hedge. I for once started to get checks right, and from Checks 11- 14 the rest of the pack disappeared from the rear view mirror. Back at the ON INN I had time to change and write the first part of this blogg before a diappointed Chicki arrived thinking she was the first one back.
Wallington was sat in the Plough eating his Sunday lunch and Goblin produced a wonderful cake made earlier in the morning with the flour left over from the run. It was a birthday cake for the continuing Chicki special birthday celebrations and much enjoyed by all. In the circle led by Butt Plug there were DDs for:
1: Durex for competitive retirement;
2: Butt Plug for confessing to not knowing where his phone was whilst using it;
3: Goblin for an excellent cake;
4: Chicki for  being Chicki; and
5: The Hare Bugger, for an excellent run.

The run had 14 checks in exactly 6 miles (as run by me - RUN 772). That's one check every 0.43 miles or one check every 0.36 miles if you didn't run any false trails and only did 5 miles. Excellent beer, cake and run. Lots of new hash trail, must be a candidate for hash of the year, any run with cake gets my vote!

Monday, 17 September 2012

QH3 Run 771, The Cricketers, Leamington Spa. 02/09/2012

Venue: The Cricketers, Leamington Spa
Hare: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Good
Date: Sunday 2nd September 2012

This was the end of a week of birthday celebrations for Chicki, with the third QH3 in a row laid by this hashing couple, set in Leamington Spa, the location of the previous night’s birthday party. As a special concession to Chicki we set off 15 minutes late – Chicki time – following the hares that had left laying the trail a mere 20 minutes before. The pack smelt blood.
A remarkably large pack for a Quorn hash (20) set off in pursuit of the hares, including a subgroup of 11 walkers, party left-overs from the night before. We even had the RA (Rasher) making his first appearance since being elected to this role in April. Leamington has some lovely parks, a river and a canal and the hares joined these up to make a excellent trail. Not surprisingly, with Eager Beaver and Rasher present, the pack moved at speed with myself, Smutley, Clementine, Silent Pants and even Wimpy all taking turns in checking duty. Finally, along the canal, about 1 mile from home, I spotted the hares and got within one flour blob of them on a check. Being the sporting gent that I am, I returned to the check point and announced the hares had requested a holding check. This didn’t last long as the pack was baying to catch the hares. A few more checks into the town centre and we’d thought the hares had escaped. They were still laying flour and even put in arrows to help us. Chicki was then spotted darting up a side street, was she a decoy? Don’t be daft, she explained later, how would she find her way back to the pub without TT. So the hares were caught half-a-mile from The Cricketers just as Too Tuf was desperately trying to write the words ON INN. This was the way I did Run 771.
There was a big gap before the walkers arrived. 
Rasher led the circle which concluded that it was a good run, but only after the RA continued to show his many talents with a birthday poem for Chicki tied in with the presentation of some bottles of real ale. 

For Chicki on the occasion of her 50th Birthday! (by Rasher)

Dear Chicki now a certain time has come
That of floppy tits and saggy bum!
Things may fall off and can get scabby
So we hope this bottle will make you feel less crabby!

We have mentioned now your imminent physical rot
Is that your only problem, well no it’s not!
There is the issue of mental lapses
This makes us laugh when logic collapses.
Tuf often does cruel things to fool her
We hope this bottle makes you feel less old and peculiar.

Oh Chicki have we made you sad
Hold on a bit it’s not all bad
You have your mane of long blond hair
This still makes people stop and stare.
You have fantastic pins so long and leggy
They are great and soooo not smeggy.
So on reflection there is a different story
You at your peak, an age of Golden Glory.

What went unnoticed on this hash, was something that should have made for a double celebration. Too Tuf's 500th run with Quorn H3. Something to be no doubt rewarded on a future occasion. 

Sign above the door at the The Cricketers. Its not true, everyone
left Leamington just as ugly

QH3 Run 770, The Willow Tree, W Bridgford. 27/08/2012

Venue: The Willow Tree, West Bridgford
Hare: Chicki
Weather: Just about not raining for the hash
Date: 27th August 2012 (Bank Holiday)

This was Chicki’s “special” birthday hash and, with Too-Tuf, actually managed to arrive at the hash on foot only a few minutes late. This trail was not going to be a live hare! This was a QH3 Monday run but set during daytime for the sad bastards that have nothing better to do on a bank holiday. Butt Plug provided one third of the turnout with rare appearances by Underlay, Should be felt and family. Even Diarrhoea was back making his first QH3 hash for many months after a hashcation in Cyprus.
Chicki, propelled by hash hound Freya, was up with the FRBs until the first check. The pack kept more-or-less together up to the first A52 crossing in Gamston, then Butcher’s Dog took off and led the pack the rest of the way around. Diarrhoea, obviously out of practice, held up the chasing pack with some poor checking.
A second crossing of the A52 was used as an excuse for some to say they had been held up giving me time to run many false trails and still have time to go back and mark the checks.
Birthday girl Chicki. If she was from Mars
she would be just 26.6 years old.
Back at the ON INN Underlay was gloating that Butcher’s Dog had only managed to be the fourth person back – competitive short-cutting. The rain started just as the pack drizzled in. This didn’t stop us having an outside ON INN under the shelter of the large Willow Tree, after which one assumes the pub is named.
Bugger led a rowdy circle at which it was revealed Should be felt was nearly arrested for murder during the week – very 1984. Chicki got a hashy birthday, the first of many I suspect in what is going to be several weeks of celebration.
The hash day was concluded with a hash committee meeting to discuss the forthcoming Great Hucklow weekend. Yes, what we do does take some planning.

This was the way I did Run 770.


Tuesday, 11 September 2012

MH3 Run 231 Bull's Head, Wilson. 10/09/2012

Bull's Head, Wilson
Hare: Gobalot (with a touch of Oriface)
Venue: Bull's Head, Wilson (nr Melbourne)
Weather: Dry

This was the last MH3 trail of the summer and with the imminent setting of the sun the hare was keen to get us off on time at 19:15. A reasonable sized pack, from memory: Bugger, Beer-and-Loathing, Trianal, Organ stops (welcome back after many years) and newcomer Artful. This was a fast moving pack, but still caught by a late Butcher's Dog by check number four despite giving us a five minute start.
No such hurry by Dobber and Lionel who were escorted around the trail by the hare at walking pace.
Hashers and golfers never mix well and Artful nearly had a memorable first Mickleover hash being narrowly missed by a wayward golf ball.
Inevitably the route went up Breedon Hill - sad to see the pub in Breedon has shut down. Immediately Butcher's Dog hit the front of the pack she reached check five which the hare had warned us as a check requiring "alertness". Bugger found the well-disguised path out of the wheat field, but only after Butcher's Dog had checked three false trails.
The long ON-INN followed the disused railway track back to Wilson, I did 4.7 miles in 54 minutes and this was the way I did it - Run 231.
I missed the start of the circle but returning to the bar was immediately awarded a DD for "competitive cashing" having pursued the bar maid for Olympic 50p coins. Only four to go now! Lionel got a long list of abuse and a DD for just about everything, followed by the hare for a good run.
Goodbye evening runs in daylight.