Sunday, 21 June 2015

QH3 Run 871. White Horse, Seagrave

QH3 RUN #871
Date : Sunday 21 June 2015 (11:00)
Location: White Horse, Seagrave (LE12 7LT)
Hare: Wallington
Weather: Sunny
Pack size: 11

Run 4 in 1987 was the last time we had a trail from this location, not that we got to see anything of the pub this time around - it was shut. They had moved up the road for the Seagrave village summer fête. 

In what used to be QH3's homeland of hashing, hashers trickled in at well past eleven. We thought we'd gained a new hasher, or should I say an old hasher, when a someone appeared asking for the Master. Twiggy, formerly of the Rhine Valley Hash House Harriers, came to the start of the trail to hand over some items of hash memorabilia (see photos). Thanks very much Twiggy, it'll be nice to see you on one of our hash trails - you don't have to run!

Barritone blowing the newly acquired horn from Twiggy
Bugger with Twiggy's drinking vessels

The trail in this now unfamiliar hashing area started well. Sweet Pea was excused from running with a bad heel and IP with newly implanted bionic attachment could hardly be called a pacemaker. The trail then straight-lined for many miles, firstly through fields and then a lot of tarmac. A beer stop made up somewhat for the lack of decent checks allowing the SRBs to catch up. The trusting hare had left two ASDA bags with drinks on the public footpath next to the main road. I say beer stop, actually the only alcoholic content was cider and a lot of softies. No one would have wanted to pinch it!

It was at the beer stop that the first two arrivals by a long way (myself and Ballcrusher) were subjected to a tirade of abuse from a passing pick-up truck. Not for being FRBs but for being responsible for the two blobs of flour that an angry farmer had found on the track to his farm. I say angry, more like narrow minded bigot. We were called pikeys and townies and even an apology for any offence caused didn't assuage his foaming at the mouth. He was not the slightest bit interested in knowing what a group of people were doing following a trail of flour on public footpaths (and a lot of tarmac). Apparently he'd informed the police - hope they had him for wasting their time and discriminatory remarks made about minority groups. Certainly after the beer stop the pack were very reluctant to check out any trails leading to farms, Captain Oates was sent ahead as a decoy.

It was a nice On Inn through fields to the quiet and deserted White Horse. The countryside however, was filled with the sound of police sirens. We told the hare he'd better keep a low profile. Actually the sirens were from the village fête where the police had a car (with siren) on display.
Today our circle was held at the village fête as the White Horse was closed

We supported the fête which included a low fly-past by a Douglas Dakota. The hash gathered discreetly in the corner of the field where Captain Oates was our stand-in RA. I pointed out that Chicki had already texted me claiming the plaudits for today's nice weather. DDs were awarded to:
1. Heroin (fanny bag) and IP (raincoat);
2. Ballcrusher for taking the pikey abuse;
3. Invalids IP (heart) and Sweat Pea (heel);
4. For Durex and Malteaser for finishing off competitive hashing couple IP and Sweet Pea on their last hash trail; and
5. Hare Wallington, despite the On Inn being closed and trail having long straight bits without many checks, was thanked for providing us with a memorable hash trail.

On On...Durex

Trail as done by Durex to beer stop
Trail as done by Durex from beer stop

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

MH3 Run 264. The White Hart, Aston on Trent

MH3 Run 264
Date: Monday 15th June 2015
Location: White Hart, Aston on Trent (DE72 2AF)
Hares: Lightning Rod and Oriface
Weather: Lovely summer's evening
Pack size: 18 

The nice summer weather and the approaching longest day enticed out hashers to this excellent hashing location. A slimline Captain Oates managed to get time off from trucking, Caboose made it a hat-trick of running with local hashes and even Beer and Loathing made a rare appearance. Trianal arrived early and was seen orientating himself in Aston, though this did him little good. We lost him at the start of the trail and didn't see him again until the On Inn. Hares Lightning Rod and Oriface are hashers with a r*nning persuasion so it was no surprise this was a r*nners trail. With a dodgy left knee I'd hoped for a gentle jog trying to keep ahead of Dobber but found myself up with the A Team checking with Butcher's Dog. Lovely first bit to the trail much of which involved parts of the Derby Nomad Way and a nice run through Long Walk Wood. We had a good straight long stretch back along the canal which certainly stretched the pack. I did check several times right, even when no check was marked, hoping we would go down to the River Trent, a false hope. There was a check laid under a newly arrived 4x4 and trailer which the hares felt they had to personally point out plus an enormous circle at a check towards the end. Were the hares expecting an arrival by helicopter? 
In the circle led by Dobber the following awards (DDs) were given:
1. Gobalot, somebody who obviously prefers going forward, was mentioned for her reversing skills.
2. Beer and Loathing - for turning up to the hash.
3. Artless Dodger 'Mr Sunshine' for his tan - did he get it in W Bridgford or Loughborough?
4. Trianal 'the invisible man' - got his regular monthly award for disappearing on the hash trail.
5. 'R*nners' Wriggle, Captain Oates and Ballcrusher for trying to emulate Lionel and Dobber's walking group.
6. Caboose - visitor.
7. The hares for the best trail of the week or what Caboose designated his best MH3 trail ever!

On On...Durex
Trail as done by Durex

Sunday, 7 June 2015

QH3 Run 870. Nags Head, East Leake

QH3 RUN #870
Date : Sunday 7 June 2015 (11:00)
Location: Nags Head, East Leake (LE12 6PG)
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Glorious Sunshine
Pack size: 17

You would certainly hope the RA could organise good weather for her own trail and she certainly did. Malteaser (Hash Facs) provided the following factoid - this was the first ever Quorn hash trail set from East Leake, though we have run from West Leake on seven previous occasions. Whilst Nags Head is a common pub name, this was only the fourth Nags Head we've run from (the others being in Lambley, Castle Donington and Harby).
It was a good-sized pack that swelled as the morning went on. Arse returned for her 2nd QH3 run bringing two friends, Sophie and Laura. We also had visitor Caboose whose enthusiasm in walking from East Midlands Parkway was noted. A 'former' hasher Bostik ran much of the trail on her early morning run and joined us for the On Inn at the Nags Head.
Without any pause or hesitation B*gger ran straight into the river

Wallington's most dynamically active part of today's trail
We got our feet wet very soon into the trail with a river crossing, the only refusal being Malteaser, a sin not noted by the RA. Just as we crossed over the Great Central Railway line we were treated to a steam and diesel arrival at Rushcliffe Halt.

The train spotters on the hash were delighted to see the arrival of steam locomotive 8274 at Rushcliffe Halt, a LMS Stannier Class 8F steam loco, an ex-Turkish guest on the GCR(N)

From the Rushcliffe Halt up alongside the golf course it was a steep long uphill climb terminated by a 'regroup' check, though a rumour was put about, mainly to discredit the hares, that this was a beer stop. At this point a discussion was held with the hares about bribery and corruption and how much they had been
paid to advertise the 'Re Group'. Your scribe also made a suggestion to the hares regarding a brown enveloped and a favourable write up. Needless to say, from this point onwards, this really crap trail gets the write up it deserves!

Dope and Wallington were short-cutters already on their first pints when I arrived back at the Nags Head marginally ahead of Diarrhoea. My GPS registered 6.66 miles, a devil of a hash.

Chicki our RA ran the circle and awarded down downs to;

  1. Smutley - Welcome back and cocking up his Euro hash registration.
  2. Caboose - Visitor to the hash with an impressive journey to East Leake.
  3. Sophie and Laura - hash virgins
  4. Goblin - competitive driving
  5. Dope and Wallington for whom the short-cut was the best bit of the trail!
  6. Bostik - an East Leake local, why had she taken so long to coming running with the QH3?
  7. The hares - following a run discussion (no sheep, river crossing, steam trains, no beer stop, etc) the trail was awarded a mere 41%. It could have been so much more!

On On....Durex

Trail as done by Durex

AH4 Run 60. Red Lion, Hognaston

AH4 RUN #60
Date : Saturday 6th June 2015 (11:00)
Location: Red Lion, Hognaston 
Hare: Psycojellic  Co-Hare: Durex
Weather: Splendidly sunny but windy 
Pack size: 12

This was Pyscojellic's first hare employing the Durex consultancy on how to lay a hash trail. Not only does Pyscojellic set a well recced trail but she also serves up a pretty good breakfast. Early arrivals found Durex and Pyscojellic tucking into croissants, chocolate chip cookies, bananas with tea and coffee.

You've heard of a dog's breakfast - this
was a hares's breakfsast!
The trail wound around the back end of Hognaston, after the first mile crossed the main road some 200 m up the the pub. The trail was deemed to be hilly and with long grass in many fields the going was slow. Moist was observed fastidiously checking whilst Crooked Squire, more subdued that usual, did't run the length or number of checks he normally does. Horse's Arse decided to give the field of cows a miss and was the only one who took up one of the many short-cuts on offer.

Although this was a trail under 5 miles it still took the pack more than 1.5 hours to 'run', obviously missing the checking skills of the A-team. Wallington running his first AH4 trail for a while confused everyone when he came to the one fish-hook on the trail interpreting it as a back check and wandering off-trail. Jelly Knob was the only hasher prepared to run the fish-hook though by the time the pack had worked out what Wallington was up to the hares had already arrived. Wallington also had his best pink T-Shirt plus a whistle which between them offended several people on the hash.

Nice to see a couple of visitors/returners. There was the Milton Keynes Enema and Caboose currently on a working assignment in Derby. Just as well our own Diarrhoea and Enema were absent otherwise it would have been a very loose run.

Durex held a quick circle, punishing Wallington first for his pink T shirt and annoying whistle. Caboose (visitor) and Enema (returner) were welcomed in the traditional manner followed by Moist (checking the bits others didn't want to do) and Pyscojellic for an excellent effort on her first haring of a hash trail. Horse's Arse was given the remaining beer for being a 'cow magnet', they seem to sense his fear. Wriggle fulfilled the obligation of her free T-Shirt advertising the Nash Hash weekend at the end of August - registrations still open.

Many of the pack retired into the Red Lion's conservatory for lunch, though Malteaser managed to set the tone for the meal by ripping off the door handle. Meals were over-priced, soft drinks ridiculously expensive and it was service without a smile. 

That's the way I saw the AH4 sixtieth hash trail..On On.. Durex

Trail as swept by Durex

Thursday, 4 June 2015

QH3 Run 869 White Horse, Ruddington

QH3 RUN #869
Date : Sunday 31 May 2015 (11:00)
Location: White Horse, Ruddington (NG11 6HD)
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Miraculously dry for the run
Pack size: 12

The rain had been lashing down all night and was still going at 8 a.m. when I looked out the window contemplating what to wear for today's trail. First thought was to send the RA a text to say the honeymoon period was over. But I had more faith and sure enough the rain ceased by 11:00.
This was the third Barritone hash trail I've run in May, the second one for QH3. Indeed, May has seen a very high level of quality trails. The question for this trail was how different was this going to be from Butcher's Dog's trail? It was certainly very different to Captain Oates' map of run 866 (see Blog report). As always with a Barritone hash trail, it was well laid - I went from front to back of the pack two times in the space of three consecutive checks. There was a maze, ladybirds and an assortment of other giant insects.
The venue had been picked to coincide with the Ruddington beer festival which also involved a bouncy castle in the White Horse car park.
RA Chicki put on her bib and awarded the following DDs each preceded by a freshly composed song customised for the individual concerned.
  1. Bugger and Goblin arrive late, Goblin got the DD as it is always the lady's fault.
  2. Malteaser was not only giving out factoids about the QH3 but also medical advice about roll-ons with nobbly bits.
  3. Lincolnshire Sausage had entertained some of the hash earlier with his changing on the street and had also managed to spend £400 on-line before coming to the hash.
  4. Durex got punished for a previous historical problem with footpaths in the area.
  5. Butcher's Dog, despite setting a trail in the area a couple of weeks ago, still managed to get lots of the checks wrong.
  6. Diarrohea only had the one coat today but got his DD for the joke about the hare sniffing the flour.
  7. The hare Barritone was thanked for an entertaining trail set at short notice and received a higher than normal 43% in the secret ballot.
That was the way of our hash this weekend... Durex

Trail as done by Durex