Tuesday, 29 December 2015

QH3 Run 890. The Boat, Lenton, Nottingham

RUN #890
Date : Monday 28th December 2015
Location: The Boat, Lenton, Nottingham 
Hares: Butcher's Dog and Sausage
Weather: Mild and dry
Pack size: 15

What a difference a year makes. Butcher's Dog set the last trail of 2014 on snow and ice, this evening was dry and mild.
It was a good pack size for this time of year, swelled by the presence of the five returning Hoveringham r*nners. The QH3 had run from this excellent real ale pub only once before in April 2010 (Too Tuf and Chicki hares). Today's hares (Butcher's Dog and Sausage) laid a well planned route that joined up parts of Nottingham with some good off-road paths including the University campus, The Park and along the canal from Castle Marina.
From henceforth you will be
known as 'Premature'
The circle was led by RA Chicki, inspired by Christmas, she commenced with the carol 'Good King Wenceslas' but with words appropriate to QH3 for which she was suitably rewarded by the first DD. Malteaser received the second DD after being observed arriving at the On Inn from the wrong direction. Next came one of the Hoveringham r*nners Chris. His eagerness to do checking had been noted. Unfortunately, he was also too eager to do his DD and went too soon. This earned him his hashname of Premature. Whilst in the mood for naming, Allison on her 2nd QH3 trail showed some confusion on the trail as to the whereabouts of someone's home, she will henceforth be known as Slug. Complaints about the name subsided when we pointed out that we could change the vowel for another one.
...and you will be known as 'Slug'

Butt Plug was unusually sober for this time on a bank holiday and received a softie DD. Trianal got his usual DD for disappearing for long periods of time. He claimed this was just because he was a long way in front. We thought it might have been because, although completing the whole trail and probably a lot more, it was probably not in the same order as everyone else. Too Tuf was rewarded for having the only Christmas Hash T-shirt, and  the oldest one on today's hash. The RA usually distributes lots of DDs and never gets many herself. Well tonight she deservedly got two, the second for raising the water levels in the Trent-Mersey Canal. That's what happens when you arrive at the On Inn more than an hour before the trail starts and you're forced to drink several pints of beer before you run instead of listening to the Archers.
The run discussion covered many points including, feeble gas lights in The Park, no sheep, no snow, not losing Captain Oates (well to be fair he wasn't on the hash tonight) and the fact that it was the perfect 5 miles in length. The verdict went to a secret ballot which may have resulted in a score of 45% though anything with a '5' in it seemed acceptable. Thanks to Butcher's Dog and Lincolnshire Sausage for an excellent trail and much needed post Christmas exercise.
NODDYs (Not Offered Down Down Yet) were sought to mop up the final dregs of beer. These went to myself for the image created to advertise this run and the final DD of the hash year went to Phil, driver for the Hoveringham five.

So ends our hashing year On On into 2016 .....Durex

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

QH3 Run 889. Bell Inn, Cromford

RUN #889
Date : Sunday 20th December 2015
Location: Bell Inn, Cromford 
Hare: Butt Plug
Weather: Sunny and Mild
Pack size: 11

Today was the QH3 Christmas 'Jingle Balls' trail. Although our RA Chicki was absent today, I was sent a text pointing out that she was still looking after the weather for us. Indeed, it was sunny with temperature in the mid-teens, but hardly Christmas weather! Snow would have been nice - there's no pleasing hashers. 
Wobbly Wallington reaches the top of the incline

The hare (Butt Plug) prepared for this trail by staying the night in a castle having set the trail the previous afternoon, before the rain. Nevertheless, most flour was still there and near the start a bit more had been added to the puzzlement of the pack. A big white patch had been carefully placed on the trail, but with carrots in it.
This being Cromford there was only one way to go and that was up. Up the old railway incline to the High Peak Trail we went, pausing at the top for a fantastic view and some photographs.
"The reindeer went that way"

The hare won the award last year for the most elevation gain on a trail and today was obviously putting in a bid to retain that award. The route was only just over 4 miles but seemed much longer on account of the continuous upward climbs. It was no surprise that the On Inn was a decent down a 12% hill for more then half-a-mile. We suspect the hare had actually done more than lay just flour for the Christmas trail. On the upwards path to the trig point (323m and above Black Rocks) we passed a large decorated Christmas tree.
The Hare's Christmas Tree
In true Christmas spirit no run subs were collected and Goblin provided some scrumptious mince pies and Christmas tree shortcake biscuits. No attempt was made to usurp our absent RA and a quick circle was convened inside to thank the hare for the Christmas trail of the year and possible contender for actual trail of the year. It is always nice hashing in the Peak District especially when the weather is good and there's plenty of shiggy from all that rain we've had on non-hashing days (i.e. every day apart from Sundays). One DD was also presented to the hasher voted as today's biggest sinner and Malteaser got a many citations including, finding so many of the false trails and being a FRB (well at least on the downhill bits) keeping up with Horse's Arse and Jelly Knob.

Excellent trail..... 
Shortcake Christmas Trees
by Goblin

On On..Durex

Wednesday, 9 December 2015

MH3 Run 270. Masons Arms, Mickleover

MH3 Run 270
Date: Monday 7th December 2015
Location: Masons Arms, Mickleover(DE3 0DL)
Hares: Cat Flaps & Lionel
Weather: Dry and Mild
Pack size: 15

The annual MH3 Christmas trail was, as usual, done at the heart of Mickleover from the Masons Arms. Very 'unlike Christmas' weather but many of the pack had Christmas hats and Jelly Knob was lighted up like a Christmas tree. The urban area of Mickleover always provides a challenging route for the hash pack with its numerous streets and alley ways and wide spacing of flour blobs en route spread out the pack, particularly at checks. It was a short trail of just over 3 miles meaning we were quickly back to the On Inn to enjoy the beer and mince pies provided by the hash. Although dispersed we lost nobody and the walkers and the r*nners arrived back at more-or-less the same time. As is the tradition for the MH3 Christmas trail, there was no concluding circle so we could concentrate on the social drinking (and eating). Thanks to Cat Flaps and Lionel for setting the hash. Happy Christmas and Hashy New Year to all Mickleover hashers...
On On

Trail as run by Durex

Monday, 7 December 2015

QH3 Run 888, Canal Inn, Bullbridge

RUN #888
Date : Sunday 6th December 2015
Location: Canal Inn, Bullbridge
Hares: Durex and Malteaser
Weather: Mild with a hint of light rain
Pack size: 34

The QH3 was joined by neighbouring hashes to celebrate our run 888 and this resulted in one of the largest packs we've had for years. Considering the North received unprecedented levels of rain this weekend we did well to get off with a light sprinkling of rain. The RA lost a bit of control there put down to the fact she had to pay a fortune to take forever to get to the On Inn by bus, and still didn't make it for the start of the trail.

Thirty four hashers turned up to celebrate our 888th trail

Non Runner recorded a
trail length of 8.88 km
for Run 888
At the pre-run briefing the hare confessed to resisting the temptation to set a trail of 8.88 miles for run#888 and had instead gone for the perfect 5 miles. However, after the trail Non Runner did point out that he recorded 8.88 km (see photo), though in a time of 2hr 10min you can see how he got his hash name.
This was a figure-of-eight trail with the pivotal point being in the centre of Crich where a drinks stop had been organised. Just the kind of spot you don't want somebody interfering with the trail markings. Enter the Reverend Goodwill who refused to have a flour circle on the pavement outside his house and as a result a lot more arrows and bars had to be added by the hare to keep the pack going in the right direction.
At its furtherest point the trail turned just below Crich Stump. The hares had originally planned a route passing to the top of the tower but H&S dictates that it is kept locked when the steps are wet and slippery, i.e. most of the winter. Good job we don't apply the same rules to public footpaths.

The Canal Inn in Bullbridge is an excellent pub for a hash event. The staff are very friendly and accommodating and the location is excellent for numerous walking/running/cycling trails in the Peak District. Although there is no food regularly served, we were provided with chip butties and a good supply of real ale. 

For the large circle the RA required all 25 pages of her DD song book. Awards went something like this:
1: Butt Plug and Underlay with reference to the former requiring somewhere to put his bag (the latter);
2: Jelly Knob for flying on the trail, (a trip for which he didn't require a licence);
3: Tweeny for his 'in the car' phone moment, a plastic bag on his head and GM of Birmingham H3 (once one GM is offered a drink all GMs drink so in came ASB (AH4), Dobber (MH3) and B*gger (QH3));
4: B*gger All of BH3 gave his car keys to the slowest person on today's trail (once one B*gger is offered a drink all B*ggers drink so in came B*gger, who happened to be that slowest person);
5: Festuring Gash who was overheard at the drinks stop congratulating the hares on a wonderful trail, i.e. before the RA had started the run discussion;
6: ASB was punished for attempting to enter the vicar's garden by a route other than a public footpath. Tweeny dobbed in Hare Malteaser for also being 'directionally' challenged (once one hare is offered a drink all hares drink so in came Durex);
7: Smutley for calling Underlay a dog;
8: Mama Rose, on behalf of the dog who only drinks sparkling water;
9: Shagulater brought in by popular demand when the RA was heard asking for a wee one. Shagulater has  rarely hashed with us in recent times due to his flying adventures, trips that he now finds out were illegal as his flying licence expired at the start of this year;
10: Skids, for a blonde moment at the check with 88 steps. The correct trail was the one from which the non-calling FRBs had not returned;
11: Sweet Pea led an interesting discussion on St Nicholas day, which led to the question as to who was not wearing any knickers;
12:  A Reverend Goodwill look-a-like (Chicki) was given a DD for trying to mislead the flock in the centre of Crich by washing crucial trail markings from the pavement;
13: Too Tuf did a slow DD so the hash scribe could have time to note that he had done it;
14: & 16: Underlay for mobile phone use in the circle;
15: Gentlemen Dobber for adopting the cautious approach to how long ago Underlay's 50th birthday might have been;
17: Ballcrusher as a St Nicholas look-a-like;
18: Barritone who took the river crossing sitting down;
19: Non-river crossers Psychojellic and Skids (once one Jelly is offered a drink all Jellies drink so in came Jelly Knob);
From henceforth you will be known as Whoratio
20 & 21: Tim welcomed back for his 2nd Quorn trail. He managed to get more than two notes from Tweeny's buggle (not trumpet!) and as a result, after much discussion, got the hashname 'Whoratio' [Hornblower];
22: IP gave a story about Too Tuf's spreading infamy, further embellished by Butt Plug;
23: Tweeny finally managed to present Captain Oates with a long promised BH3 T-shirt, now 2 sizes too big. He also grabbed the opportunity to mention the BH3 organised Nash Hash event in Solihull (May 2016 - get registering);
24: Hares Durex and Malteaser. Run vote led to ambiguous result somewhere between 8.8%, 69% or 88.8% (nearly 90%); and
25: Finally, we didn't forget to punish today's FRB Lincolnshire Sausage.

Phew! That was a big circle. Great to see such a good turn out. We should encourage more joint participation events amongst local hashes.

Run 888 T-Shirt
The circle wasn't the end of today's event. We had had chip butties provided by the pub, eight-eight-eight themed cakes prepared by Malteaser and Goblin. Many thanks to those who put the effort into providing this hash grub. There was also a rare QH3 T-shirt (available from B*gger for £5).

To finish with, keeping on the 888 theme, we went to the dogs (and horses) as the landlord provided some racing entertainment which raised over £11 for the East Midlands Air Ambulance.

Great day out.

On On...Durex

Trail as set by Hare

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

QH3 Run 887. VAT and Fiddle, Nottingham.

RUN #887
Date : Monday 30 November 2015
Location: VAT and Fiddle, Nottingham
Hare:Captain Oates
Weather: Mild and no rain
Pack size: 11

BBC Weather forecast for the Nottingham area today was rain, rain, and more rain, clearing up in the evening - they must have based their report knowing that the QH3 were running in Nottingham this evening. They have learnt that our RA is pretty good at holding back the rain.

Captain Oates' trails are always something to look forward to, usually with a surprise or two in store. Excellent choice of On Inn in the VAT & Fiddle, home of Harvest Pale. It had rained all day but, as we now come to expect, the rain had stopped in time for the trail but the hare had still had to cope with a soaking. Would the flour still be there and would it be a Captain Oates special? Numbers were swelled tonight by 3 returning r*nners from Hoveringham (Phil, Cadi and Chris) plus newcomer Jamie.

It was an excellent and well laid trail that took us to parts of Nottingham not usually encountered on a dark Monday night (Meadows included). Plenty of checks at the start with decreasing frequency towards the end. We were never quite sure where we were heading and the twisting back and crossing over trails around Clifton Bridge was very clever. Although there were no sheep on trail, this must be a nomination for trail of the year. The case for this was strengthened by the hare's effort to mark St Andrew's Day by bringing to the On Inn a selection of Scottish food and drink (as determined from the internet). This included whisky, Tunnock tea cakes, homemade deep-fried battered Mars bars, oat cakes, cold porridge and salt, macaroni cheese inserted into mince pie cases (??) and a selection of party gear for the sake of auld lang syne.
To celebrate St Andrew's Day the hare prepared cold porridge with salt

The homemade deep fried Mars bars looked
like something collected off the pavement

We used the room we last used for the Awards Night earlier in the year and the RA Chicki, buoyed up by her continuing success with the weather, let loose with her repertoire of DD songs. If you want to get Chicki something for Christmas then you could do no worse than write her some new songs.

First DD went to Smutley for a welcome back and showing little faith in the RA by turning up in a rain jacket. Another doubting Thomas who was punished was returning newcomer Phil who had earlier asked on Facebook if the trail would be postponed due to heavy rain. A further Hoveringham r*nner (Chris) was punished for referring to us as a 'running club'. Our token 'Scot' for St Andrew's Day was Butt Plug, there being no real Scots present on the hash. A-team checker Durex was punished for pointing out that after a long succession of successful checking he'd taken a break about three quarters of the way around and that's when everything slowed down and nearly went pear-shaped as the newcomers headed off towards Castle Marina. The final returning newcomer Cadi was given a DD for being the first harriette back to the On Inn. Barritone was a late latecomer who admitted he hadn't even tried to find the first check. Smutley got another DD to supplement his calories after much advertisement about his diet. Butt Plug also received as second award to the sound of Hashy Birthday for reaching a landmark 60! 

Captain Oates was thanked for an excellent trail (so good we didn't even need a vote) and the effort he put into celebrating St Andrew' Day. He was given a cold porridge DD! That left two DDs to mop up, one for newcomer Jamie who by now had learnt how to take a DD, and one for Noddy (Not Offered a DD Yet) Malteaser who was not without sin on today's trail. The fact that she 'short-cut' along the low road whilst everyone else took the high road by the river triggered a rendition of the Scottish ditty covering this sin. So if Malteaser was the only Noddy I must have missed when Too Tuf got his DD. And our RA deserved better for the weather and the DD songs.

On On..Durex

Sunday, 15 November 2015

QH3 Run 886. Beer Shack, Hucknall

RUN #886
Date : Sunday 15th November 2015
Location: Beer Shack, Hucknall 
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Confused
Pack size: 10
Travelling to today's hash we had heavy rain showers, high wind, blue skies, sunshine and a rainbow with the temperature at 15 deg. C for mid-November! The weather was very confused, no doubt the Quorn RA was involved. Chicki promised us a dry window in the weather between 11:00 - 12:00 and that's what we got and more.

We commenced with Hash Trash (Captain Oates) demonstrating his new acquistions (part 1)
We rarely travel north of Nottingham so much of the route today was virgin trail. Hash Stats (Malteaser) failed to tell us that we had in the history of QH3 only run from Hucknall on two previous occasions - Runs 347 and 489, the latter being the start of a red dress tram run.
As always with a Barritone trail it was well marked with flour and every 'marked' false trail barred. Early on Jelly Knob and Cpt Oates did find false trails were there were no checks, the latter hasher finding it hard to accept that the trail doesn't always go straight on.
Out into Bestwood Country Park it got shiggy and hilly. It was here that my GPS recorded a rapid decent of 1.7 m when my feet went upwards and head hit the ground. A chance to catch my breath and let Chicki catch up. At this point the hare also caught up with the pack. Helpful at a particularly difficult check at which Malteaser had wrongly learned from a cyclist that it wasn't straight on. It was a long trail approaching the 7 mile mark - a shorter option was available to walkers and was used by invalids B*gger and Butt Plug.
The Beer Shack is a great real ale pub with a range of high alcohol beers - hence the advice of the hare to come by tram. We found a quiet corner of the pub for the circle. Awards went to: 1. Malteaser - twice showing blonde dyslexia moments. An inability to arrange the No 3. in the correct way for the above photo and thinking we had arrived in Beeston rather than Bestwood. 2. Jelly Knob - welcome back. 3. Durex - flying on the hash. 4. A disgusting disgraceful Too Tuf for showing his underpants in the street. I really think the old lady was really getting very excited watching you change. 5. Barritone the hare for a good trail in an unfamiliar area and finding the Beer Shack. 6. The RA got given the final DD for showing unbelievable weather control.
Captain Oates escaped punishment despite his burst of promotional materials including the QH3 balloons and fliers- we need the latter so we can all learn the correct web site address! We now own the domain name QuornH3.co.uk .

On On..Durex

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

MH3 Run 269. Furnace Inn, Derby

MH3 Run 269
Date: Monday 9th November 2015
Location: Furnace Inn, Derby(DE1 3BX)
Hare: Trianal
Weather: Mild and windy after day of rain
Pack size: 14

Today the weather was not the sort you would want to lay a hash trail in. Wind to blow away the flour and what does reach the ground gets washed away by the heavy rain.  Not that tonight's pack was bothered, the rain had stopped and there was a mild drying wind. The hare (Trianal) admitted he had used only one bag of flour and there weren't many checks, facts obviously apparent on the trail. There were just two checks in the 6 mile trail, at 2.5 and 3 miles. Is this a record? And yes, hash flour was obviously being saved to make next month's mince pies. 
The main pack was fortunate to have the hare to shepherd us around though after 4 miles the pack size was dwindling with Jelly Knob, Lightening Rod and Oriface deciding to take the direct route back to the Furnace from Pride Park. Seaman Stains (at fast walking speed) miraculously found his way to the 2nd check but followed 'welcome back' Isleof hash virgin Jill along the shortest route back to the On-Inn. Myself, Malteaser and Captain Oates persevered with the trail into the city centre keeping Trianal company. We then lost the hare and infrequent flour blobs and decided it was time to head back to the Furnace via St Marys footbridge. That left Captain Oates as the only hound out on the trail, Given that he was out for another 20 minutes longer than us I'd thought he was the only one to find and complete the whole trail with the hare's help. However, both admitted to giving up on the final loop. The SCBs, an injured B*gger, Dobber, Lionel and Catflaps, fared no better on the trail being misdirected by an arrow towards the city centre after less than half-a-mile.
As always, the Furnace was a most welcoming On-Inn - friendly, an excellent choice of real ales, and live music. The trail provoked plenty of discussion though Malteaser could only think of getting her complimentary samosa.
The circle was led by Dobber in the smokers' shed with Oriface put in charge of keeping the lights on. The end of October is a busy time for birthdays and Catflaps and Seaman Stains got the first DD for a hashy birthday. Jelly Knob spent much of the time running by himself and was awarded a DD for the 'Lone Ranger'. Malteaser was punished for scavenging samosas. Isleof was welcomed back but hash virgin Jill, who hadn't been told the full story of what hashing was about, declined a free beer - Yorkshireman Lionel readily stepped in to receive this beer. Captain Oates was thanked for guiding the hare around most of the trail. Hashing has no rules and every trail set is different, Trianal was thanked for setting a trail that will be remembered.
That's the way I saw MH3 Run 269.......On On ...Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Monday, 2 November 2015

QH3 Run 885. Meadow Covert, Edwalton

RUN #885
Date : Sunday 1st November 2015
Location: Meadow Covert, Edwalton
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Benign
Pack size: 15

For Too Tuf the weather was benign, for me it was propitious, to most it was foggy lifting to become a nice warm sunny day. Indeed, to the west in Wales it was the warmest UK November day recorded at  22.4 deg C. What a wonderful RA we have.

A reasonably sized pack today swelled by the late arrival of Captain Oates, Paper Cups and a younger version of Captain Oates who for now we'll refer to as Private Oates. The late arrival was put down to the fact that one of this party needed to purchase some running shoes before arriving at the On Inn. Good checks meant that it wasn't long before they'd caught up the pack. You would expect nothing less of a trail set by hares that now have a combined total of 1179 (595+584) QH3 runs and have 183 (97+86) QH3 harings to their names.

It was a well constructed trail with a mixture of previously unused paths and bits we hadn't used for a long long time. Towards the end it did go a bit pear-shaped, today's A-Team (Butcher's Dog, Sausage, Durex and Butt Plug) arriving back some time before the remainder of the hashers despite the pack being together at the penultimate check. We'd thought that Captain Oates was showing his visitors why he was so named but alas the sweeping hares brought in the remnants. This didn't include today's SRBs - Wallington, IP, B*gger and Sweet Pea who finished the trail in varying degrees of completeness, the latter may have even employed a car to pick up grandchildren.

Shame the checks were all good and long meaning I clocked up 5.75 miles instead of the perfect 5.

Who would think that a November circle would be held in nice warm sunshine in the pub's beer garden? Chicki with her usual book of diverse drinking songs led the circle (minus the Quavers this week). The following awards were given:
1. IP for inappropriate questioning before we set out - he asked Too Tuf how long it was. Needless to say we all provided an answer.
2. B*gger for remotely playing with his [car's] rear end before we set out.
3. Butt Plug for successfully helping Underlay through her driving test first time around. 
4. Newly weds (Butcher's Dog and Sausage) ran from home and it was calculated this could have got them 20 more minutes at home in bed.
5. Captain Oates for his efforts in securing new shoes for his mum from 'Sports not Direct to the hash'.
6. Tim (brought to the On Inn by Sweet Pea) was welcomed to the circle.
7. Malteaser who despite 'not liking the fresh fungi on Durex's face' (quoting the RA) did find some nice mushrooms for Durex's dinner only to have them destroyed by Too Tuf. He was punished (but may have saved Durex's life).

The run discussion was led by GM B*gger. There were various moans about no sheep but the absence of any hockey players or beer festivals wasn't even mentioned. It went to a vote and for some reason got 55%.

Thanks for an excellent trail and nice to see visitors Paper Cups and 'Private Oates'. Hope to see you again...

On On..Durex

Tuesday, 27 October 2015

QH3 Run 884. King William IV, Sneinton, Nottingham

RUN #884
Date : Monday 26th October 2015
Location: King William IV, Sneinton
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Dark, Dry and Mild
Pack size: 5

The King William IV is an excellent real ale pub with friendly atmosphere well situated in Nottingham with good public transport access. This, along with the fact that it was a mild dry evening, might give rise to the expectation of a reasonably sized pack. Alas just five, and two of those were the hares. 
This evening's theme was red and the entire pack was kitted out in red. A homage to the red dress event usually held at the end of October. The traffic lights joined in with the spirit of the event and the first five sets were on red when we arrived at road crossings.
Most checks had more false trails than there were hounds so Butt Plug, Malteaser and myself had to work hard at all the checks. We did actually move around the trail with surprising speed especially as flour was difficult to see in the dark amongst (or even under) leaves or distinguish from goose poo. It always takes a while for the hash to adjust to the autumn/winter dark and urban running mode.
I did actually find a car key in the leaves on the pavement along the Embankment - anyone doing an internet search on 'lost Honda car key Nottingham' and you've found this blog - I placed the key beside the tree where you dropped it.
A quick well-formed circle was held inside the King William led by RA Chicki. The first award went to Butt Plug who had been observed getting most of the checks wrong. This was attributed to the fact that Durex was out in front getting them all right and someone has to be left to check the false trails. So I got the second DD for being on 'A' team checking duty. Malteaser got the third DD for expressing interest in the claim of the gym we passed on the way in about 'cracking walnuts'. The two hares completed the proceedings with DDs for a good run. Apart from the red theme it was an evening of fives - five hashers, trail of exactly five miles and 5.00% for the run score.

On On..Durex

Trail as run by Durex

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

MH3 Run 268. Coopers Tavern, Buton-upon-Trent

RUN #268
Date : Monday 19th October 2015
Location: Coopers Tavern, Burton-upon-Trent (DE14 1EG) 
Hare: Captain Oates
Weather: Continuing Dry
Pack size: 11

Captain Oates is now an experienced hare and it's beginning to show - another excellent trail from the Coopers Tavern in Burton-upon-Trent. This is a great real 'real ale' pub with a fantastic selection of beers, good atmosphere and a range of traditional pub food though, for the majority of hashers snacking, this was pork pies of increasing sizes.
Captain Oates kept this one simple but this town lends itself to interesting hash trails with many paths at split levels crossing over one another, as demonstrated by the GPS trace below. The hare also helpfully informed us that at cross-roads, and there's lots of those in this town, the trail was always straight on unless marked with a check. With the likes of Trianal, Jelly KnobBeer & Loathing and the Artless Dodger this was always going to be a fast moving pack. 
There were plenty of excellent checks that shuffled the pack after long straight stretches that sorted out the tortoise from the gazelles. I'd love to do a hash in Burton in daylight so I could work out how all those different parks, bridges rivers and canals join up. It was certainly dark in parts with fallen leaves hiding flour blobs until you were on top of them.

The hare made use of the cross sign. On many hashes around the world this would mark the end of a false trail. As previously used by Wriggle, we use it in a self-evident way - cross [the road] here.
The circle was held inside the snug solely used by the hash. Dobber, MH3 RA, GM, Hash Cash, Hare razor and any other hash role you can think of, handed out awards as follows:
1. Jelly Knob - welcome back.
2. Trianal - who didn't actually go AWOL this time but nevertheless managed to run more than a mile further than everyone else.
3. Durex took the DD that was meant for Malteaser. She was wearing the same head torch as Jelly Knob who broke the news that it was a really cheap buy. Malteaser was devastated to learn this about her cherished present - Durex took the blame.
4. Seaman Stains - for eating the biggest pork pie of the evening.
5. Captain Oates - for again successfully laying an excellent and normal trail.

Trail as done by Durex

Sunday, 18 October 2015

QH3 Run 883. The Star, West Leake

RUN #883
Date : Sunday 18th October 2015
Location: The Star Inn, West Leake (LE12 5RQ) 
Hares: IP and Sweet Pea
Weather: Overcast but still dry (again)
Pack size: 11

Both IP and Sweet Pea have had long term sick notes and excused from hashing for many months. That didn't stop them setting today's trail in an area famed for its mad Gothamites. We didn't see any captured cuckoos or sheep grazing on thatched roofs but nevertheless this is always a pleasant hashing area. 
The awards in the circle were a good account of today's trail - hasn't our RA Chicki been lucky with the weather in recent months.
1. Butt Plug and Too Tuf ignored the directional hand waving of the hares at the start  further confirming that you shouldn't believe what the hare says (rule 5(e)) or pay attention to any hare hand signals (rule 5(f)).
2. Captain Oates was a latecomer and was spotted short-cutting through a field of young winter wheat in order to catch up. No bus lanes to misuse or shortcut along then?
3. Ballcrusher needed Malteaser's help to spot the flour at the first check. A lame excuse about there being leaves on the flour.
4. Wallington was dobbed in by Sweet Pea for short-cutting. The RA already had him earmarked for worrying the RA - something about her dog chasing the hare. I guess that's one step up from sheep-worrying.
5. Sweet Pea (1st hare) got her DD for plane spotting - apparently she loves to sit watching planes flying over and using an app to tell her all about the flight.
6. IP (2nd hare) was described as being an 'overly polite hare', heard apologising to Malteaser when she returned back from a false trail.
7. The RA likes hashers to turn out smart and appropriately dressed for trails. Durex was punished for having several days stubble. Ballcrusher correctly identified that he was doing his bit for bird conservation and saving razorbills.
8. There was a lot of discussion during the trail about hashers having dental work over the past month. As a double cavity job with root treatment, Barritone got the final DD.

Hash announcements seemed to go on for a longer duration than the circle itself. Perhaps this was because we had the unusual luxury of knowing the hares for the remaining trails of the year. The exception being the Jingle Balls run on 20th December which still needs a hare. A Father Christmas lookie-likie was suggested and Ballcrusher was an obvious candidate, or perhaps Durex should get a move on growing his beard.
Thanks IP and Sweet Pea for an enjoyable hash today. Hope you had a good breakfast.

That's the way I remember it...On On..Durex

Trail as run by Durex

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

White Powder on Public Paths

'Hounds' chasing a 'hare' or the paper chase is one of this country's oldest sports, a tradition kept alive around the world by the Hash House Harriers. However, most hashing groups out of respect for the environment will now use flour, lime or sawdust to mark their trails. The origins of the Hash House Harriers goes back to the 1930s, in what is now Malaysia, when a group of British colonial officers and expatriates felt the need to run off the excesses of the weekend, basically an excuse for more socialising and drinking. A trail is set by a hare who is chased by a pack of hounds. If you've ever watched the film 'The Railway Children' an important part of the story involves a group of public school boys on a paper chase through a railway tunnel where one of them breaks a leg. Health and safety issues have long been present!

The hare marks the trail with blobs of flour (paper, sawdust etc.) and every so often the trail comes to a check from which there are many false trails in addition to the correct route home. The more athletic hashers (hounds) spend time checking out the false trails allowing the slower ones a chance to catch up.

A bar, circle and blobs of flour are the common marking found on the
route of a Quorn Hash House Harriers trail. Find three blobs and you're ON the right way.
The sad thing is that suspicion of what the white powder marking the trail represents is increasingly generating some concern amongst the general public who have no comprehension of what hashing is. This time of year, as the daytime gets shorter, our hash trails move into the urban areas where we can use paths lit by street lights, so our hashes are more obvious and seen by many more people.

Concerns about our trail markings change according to the current public paranoia. Ten years ago there was international concern about terrorists using anthrax. The Quorn Hash House Harriers (QH3) had a  trail investigated by the police after a member of the public had reported an man looking like an Arab behaving strangely and placing a white powder by lamp-posts. In August 2005 whilst laying a trail for the Quorn Hash House Harriers I was taken by surprise by a minibus-load of plain-clothed police in a sub-urban area of Nottingham after being reported by a concerned local as someone distributing anthrax powder. With recent newspaper reports of pets being targeted  with poisoned bait, the white powder is now seen dog poison. Our flour markings are seen as a real evil. Only last month on a QH3 trail we had a ranting and racially abusive farmer who was convinced we were marking out his land as a prospective plot for a  group of 'travelling gyppos'. 

Do a Google search on 'white powder public paths' and you'll find many worldwide newspaper reports on the mystery white powder (e.g. QH3 - Eastwood & Kimberly Advertiser; LH3 - London News Shopper; AH3 - OtherAberdeen ; and recently, internationally, CH3 - The Cayman Reporter). It is unfortunate that this minority of paranoid dog owners are not blessed with an inquisitive nature or the ability to use the internet. Hashers find it incredulous that people could be stupid enough to think we would be placing toxic/poisonous substances on footpaths by hand. A four-year old could work out that the markings show a trail to be followed. It is ironic to hear dog walkers complain about a trail of flour through a wheat field whilst their dearly beloveds deposits far more toxic biohazards. 
A notice pinned to a post on QH3 run 876, part of the trail through a wheat field in the countryside, flour blobs placed regularly at 50-m intervals.
I'm not the first hasher to have spent a just few minutes of my day worrying about how we mark our trails (e.g Flying Booger). So what should we do to allay this unfounded fear of white powder on public paths?  We have to be more proactive in advertising the House Hash Harriers and what we do. Where we are going is not so predictable as the hash is a very informal event and quite often the hare makes up the route of the trail as it happens, or so many trails seem.

Never miss a chance to publicise what we do (e.g. local radio - Durex  on 'white powder on the streets of Derby'). Hares should explain to passing dog walkers what they are doing. If the On Inn has a notice board put up a poster announcing there will be a hash from the pub and what that involves - we may get some new recruits! 

Never set the trail through a shopping mall or near a sensitive security area (e.g a Power Station) without giving prior notice of what you are doing. Do a Google search to see the consequences of failing to do so (e.g Sacramento Hash House Harriers).

It's a tough job being a hare without having the additional stress of dealing with a very small minority of the paranoid public. It is always an anxious time worrying whether the flour will survive on the trail. Rain washes it away, slugs, rabbits, squirrels, birds, sheep and other livestock eat it. And so do inquisitive dogs.

Monday, 5 October 2015

QH3 Run 882. Kings Arms, Coleorton

QH3 RUN #882
Date: Sunday 4th October 2015 (11:00)
Location: Kings Arms, Coleorton ( LE67 8GD)
Hares: B*gger and Goblin
Weather: Lovely
Pack size: 8

This was an eventful hash, the kind that will stick in the memory and no doubt receive a nomination for trail of the year. It was a well laid trail in countryside that we haven't hashed in for a long while. Some highlights of today's hash:
1. Malteaser missed it because she was attending the National Fireworks Championships with Skids in Southport. 
2. Sticking to this theme, there were two guys hanging around a large bonfire in the pub car park, looking like hashers. They didn't do the trail - their time will come next month!
3. The trail passed through the Snibston No 3 mining area and down the Swannington Incline, all well documented in signs by the Swannington Heritage Trust. Hashing can be a cultural experience too.
4. One hare (B*gger) suffered injury on the run (twisted ankle) whilst the other (Goblin) got lost whilst looking for a short-cutting Wallington. A good trail is one that loses Captain Oates but to lose a hare!!!....
5. The pack got split in two on Limby Hall Lane when a gigantic potato harvesting machine blocked the road in the middle of a check.
6. Another incident of white powder poisoning dog. A dog owner reckoned it'll cost him £600 to have his dog's stomach pumped out after the dog ate some of our trail flour. I can see we have to do more to educate the public, I feel a blog devoted to this subjected coming on.
Today's trail was a cultural experience of Swannington's industrial past

Hounds checking left on Limby Hall Lane got trapped the wrong
side of this gigantic potato harvester trundling along the trail even slower than Chicki

The circle was somewhat delayed as Goblin was out looking for Wallington (who was actually the first one back to the On Inn). Then B*gger, Wallington and Butt Plug went of the look for Goblin who was never seriously lost, just puzzled by other hares' change of plan at the end to use the same route in as we used out.

When the circle got going the return of the A-team for checking duties was duly acknowledged. Durex's obsessive checking, even doing false trails after they'd already been checked, was rewarded. No surprise that this 5-mile trail turned out to be 6.8 miles for Durex. The circle delay was dealt with by punishing Wallington, who precipitated the loss of one of the hares by his short-cutting near the end of the trail, and rewarding Butt Plug who coordinated the search. The hares were thanked for an excellent trail, placed higher on the list of nominations for trail of the year thanks to those scrumptious nutty shortcake feet and blackberry pie made by Goblin. How can nuts accidentally fall in?

The final DD went to Too Tuf who was seen wearing the oldest T-shirt at today's hash. I'm going to have to get to the bottom of my wardrobe to get back to the 1980s.

...On On...Durex