QH3 Run 895. The Red Lion, Kegworth

RUN #895

Date : Sunday 21st February 2016
Location: Red Lion, Kegworth
Hare: Durex
Weather: Mildish, windy and no rain
Pack size: 18

Although QH3 have only used the Red Lion once before (Run 590 in Sep 2007),
it has been used by other hashes. This is a photo from December 2001 when
Durex, Malteaser and Skids were the hares for City of Leicester Run 87.

Hash fax Malteaser informed us this was only the 2nd time the QH3 had run from the Red Lion in Kegworth. This was surprising considering it is an excellent real ale pub at the centre of our hashing area. 

There was an excellent turn out for today's trail with 18 hashers it was the largest pack this year. The hare (Durex) informed the pack the trail had been crafted to the perfect length of 5.00 miles (if you didn't run any false trails). During the setting of the trail the hare had actually done 7 miles so plenty of checking was to be expected.

From the On Out we soon lost B*gger, today an out-and-out walking invalid. However, Shagulater and newcomer Yvonne kept up with a good walking pace to the one mile mark helped by a tortuous route out of Kegworth and some cunning checks. Jamie, Sausage and Butcher's Dog all worked hard on the false trails. Cadi was imminently observable in her fluorescent pink top and Pre-Mature chose to look like the hare by wearing the same fluorescent yellow top plus long black running trousers. Skids was back in her home town visiting from Liverpool, though no hub caps were reported as missing. Barritone seemed somewhat out of puff both with the horn and running, though having cycled to the hash from Beeston against that wind, one could understand his slowness. Miss Takemenow with her new go faster legs (streamlining?) kept up well (at least in front of Wallington). The RA Chicki was also somewhat off colour, no doubt ensuring a dry hash for Durex had taken up a lot of her strength.

At the On Inn we settled down to my favourite beer (Harvest Pale) and some

Hashy birthday to Durex....

birthday cake freshly made by Malteaser. A re-energised Chicki led the circle outside and DDs were awarded to:

1. B*gger, a non-believer who thought it was going to rain;

2. Goblin, having hasher recognition problems - should have gone to spec savers;

3. Too Tuf for allowing Chicki to get a nasty small prick when he misled her (yes we got a lot of the usual innuendo);

4. Yvonne a virgin, Shagulater's flying partner (with licence) and not from Glasgow;

5. Skids a visitor from the Wirral and Chester Hash, welcome back for her 195th QH3 trail;

6. The RA started to impose a better dress code, Cadi was punished for her fluorescent pink top. If only the beer Master had got in more beer we would have had a naming of 'Pinkie' and 'Perky' (Jamie); and finally

7. The hare, whose trail had no farm animals and lots of banging, so only got 42% vote for his trail.

On On..... Durex 

Trail as set by Durex (with false trails!)

MH3 Run 272, Swan Inn, Littleover

MH3 Run 272
Date: Monday 15th February 2016
Location: Swan Inn, Littleover
Hares: Seaman Stains
Weather: Dry and cold
Pack size: 13




Despite the forecast of the coldest night of the winter a respectable pack of 13 turned out for tonight's trail. The pack rapidly split into 'walkers' and 'r*nners' the latter being pulled along fast by Artless Dodger and Born Hashing (a welcome back who was probably twice as tall as the last time we saw him).
Pretty early on the hash, after disappearing straight down a road with no flour, the pack learnt that this hare was not adverse to sudden changes of the side of road to run on, often pealing off up a minor side road.
We managed to get most of the way around with the pack keeping together until the last check with the On Inn almost in sight. Here repeated checking failed to find the trail and most headed on the most direct route to the pub. The exception being Gobalot and Oriface who claim to have found the subtle, less direct loop back.
The White Swan was an good choice for an On Inn - good beer and the clincher being several bowls of excellent chips. 
Due to the rather cold weather outside, the circle was held indoors led by Dobber with DDs to:

1. Jelly Knob, local knowledge didn't help.
2. Lionel, a DD to shut him up and stop his attempts at singing.
3. Born Hashing welcome back.
4. Gobalot for shocking Oriface by paying the MH3 subs.
5. Durex and Dobber Hashy birthday.
6. Hare Seaman Stains for a well crafted trail around Littleover

On On
Durex

Trail as run by Durex

QH3 Run 894 Bricklayers Arms, Thornton

RUN #894

Date : Sunday 7th February 2016
Location: Bricklayers Arms, Thornton
Hare: Wallington
Weather: Sunny spells but cold wind
Pack size: 14

With the previous evening's Awards Night fresh in the mind of the Quorn Hashers, we turned up in Thornton wondering where this trail was going to come in this year's rankings. Steepest, flattest, longest, shortests? Well it was a good entry for the latter category at only 3.7 miles. We saw quite a bit of sunshine but Capt Oates had clearly miscalculated the temperature and brought only a T-shirt.

The hare had promised us a 'live hare' but on completing the trail I saw him arriving by car. He had accidentally turned up to the lay the flour a couple of hours too early and had had time to go home for a shower. I suppose it is an improvement on a previous error when he laid the trail a week too early.

There was a rumour that Wallington doesn't like getting his shoes muddy so we could expect a lot of tarmac. Barritone set the early pace chasing a female runner (who wasn't a hasher) and she got a blast of his horn and cries of 'are you on' at the next check. I'm sure her pace quickened. So much for all that tarmac. The check at our first field was ankle deep shiggy alternating with extremely cold surface water. Sweep Pea and offspring had wisely managed to by-pass this and met the FRBs on Markfield Lane.
From here Butcher's Dog left the pack skidding about the mud and was not seen again until the On Inn. If you do set a live hare when Butcher's Dog is present you do need to put in a few checks to slow her down. It was a very pleasant run around the reservoir but little opportunity for checking. Arriving just behind Sausage, and a long way behind Butcher's Dog, I got back to the On Inn ten minutes before opening time. The pack was indeed well spread out. And did I feel a hint of rain when I arrived back?

RA Chicki led the circle with the first DD going to Captain Oates to warm him up. Next was a harriette (Sweet Pea) who had made the mistake of offering Chicki help over a style, as one does with elderly people. Barritone was punished for giving the female jogger a blast of his horn, and IP for threatening to trip up the young lad energetically running around the reservoir. Sausage donated his hash shoes (minus laces) to the charity recycling box and was joined in a DD by Butcher's Dog for getting back to the On Inn 15 minutes before it opened.

As is usual the hare was thanked for his efforts setting the trail, albeit short with few checks.

DDs continued to mop up remaining drinks with driving instructor Butt Plug said to be needing some new glasses and Chicki given something for a pole up the ?? This prompted IP and Sweet Pea to sing a 'Pole' song - Pissonya - which is actually Russian. Too Tuf took the final DD for never being satisfied'

That's the way I saw trail 894, 

On On..... Durex

Trail as done by Durex.

QH3 Run 893. Wilford Green Pub and Kitchen, Nottingham

RUN #893

Date : Monday 25th January 2016
Location: Wilford Green Pub, Nottingham
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Dry and Mild
Pack size: 9

As our RA was one of the hares for this evening's trail I had guaranteed a dry run.  It was not looking good when we left home at 18:30 in an absolute deluge of rain. Rain that had not even been forecast. What's a hash guarantee worth anyway. We needn't have worried, by the time we arrived at the Wilford Green it was perfectly dry and a mild evening for January.
A relatively small pack set off in the wake of Butcher's Dog and Trianal though a lot of good checks meant the pack stayed together. Even Trianal was kept within viewing distance. Malteaser was our sole walker tonight deciding she wasn't going to run as she didn't want to get her hair wet. Surely walking the trail exposes your hair for twice as long? However, Malteaser did seem to keep up with the pack calling into question her genuineness as a walker.
We have hashed in this area many times but this was the first time QH3 had run from the Wilford Green Pub (there was a hash from its previous incarnation as The Maypole on May Day 2001). With the new Clifton tramline cutting through the area there were indeed virgin paths to be run.
Chicki as RA quietly led an indoor circle, DDs given to Malteaser (alleged walker); Cadi (lost property, prepared to follow anyone that was running); Trianal (NOT going off trail for once); and Jamie (abusing drug abusers - subjecting some young lads sitting in the dark on a bench with his flashing (light). Despite everything the hares still only managed a 12% (or did I write that down wrongly?).
Announcements again were very brief as the hareline doesn't have a hare until 6th March! Still we have the hash awards night at the VAT & Fiddle on 6th February to look forward to.
On On..... Durex

Trail as done by Durex.

QH3 Run 892. The Plough, Huddlesford

RUN #892

Date : Sunday 17th January 2016
Location: The Plough, Huddlesford, nr. Lichfield
Hare: Captain Oates
Weather: Cold with snow on ground
Pack size: 10

 
A hare's worst nightmare - heavy snow the night before your trail. After establishing: (1) the Hare had successfully managed to lay a trail, and (2) at least two hashers were turning up, we set off for this distant outpost of our hashing area. Never before have we run from a location with a WS (West Staffordshire) postcode. The snow was actually melting fast and became less deep as we travelled south along the A38. Perhaps bringing the sledge was not such a good idea.
A hard core of nine hashers turned up, plus the hare (Captain Oates) who could be forgiven for turning up on his bicycle 15 minutes late on this bitterly cold day. This was trumped by Barritone who turned up even later on his bike all the way from Nottingham. He had set out the day before and spent the night in Tamworth - what dedication to hashing.
The hare promised us the shortest trail ever, said he would be very surprised if

No need for flour - just follow
the hare's characteristic footprints

we all didn't get lost but only remembered the bit about sticking to public paths when passing the rifle range after we'd set off. This was a trail of two halves, the first being undistinguished along roads into the outskirts of Lichfield with a beer stop at the hare's abode. This was an apartment towards the top of a block of flats with a splendid view across today's trail area. Indeed the hare could have easily planned the whole route sitting on the balcony with a beer. We were one down by the time we got to the beer stop, B*gger returning early to the On Inn because of recurring injury. Wallington claimed repetitive strain injuries from 'banging the keyboard' yet he managed to keep up with today's somewhat slow pace.

The second half was mainly on public footpaths through muddy snow covered fields where the hare had employed turmeric powder on top of (rather than mixed with) the white flour making the trail markings look like fried eggs. We did remarkably well to find the trail all the way back to the pub, the hare even choose to avoid the straightforward route back along the Coventry Canal and

Turmeric on white flour - fried egg markings

sent us through yet more muddy fields. The last half-mile was along roads with intermittent flour but there was a giant 'On Inn' scrawled across the road just to make sure we knew we had arrived. The hare's sense of distance was obviously affected by the weather, a promised short run was actually 5.5 miles.
This is a popular pub for a Sunday lunchtime and it rapidly filled up. The RA, after a wobble on the last trail, returned to her high standard of weather control. No precipitation whilst we were on the trail, this was saved until we were snugly inside the Plough. On account of this, we had a quiet circle inside the pub.
First DD went to B*gger, the RA pointing out we catered for all disabilities. Next was Wallington, late to the circle having just completed his Sunday dinner, was punished for his Stevie Wonder impression (banging on the keyboard (?)). Somehow the conversation wandered to discussing Tommy Walker and Pin Ball Wizzard, Captain Oates being rewarded for his admission that he always thought the words were 'Shaun plays a mean pin ball'. Barritone's dedication to hashing was acknowledged turning up on his bike, albeit twenty minutes late. Goblin then got a DD for something, I was distracted at this point by a wet black pussy running past the window. 
What can you say about a trail set under such conditions that also included a beer stop. Something between 42% and 42%! Well done Captain Oates for an enjoyable hash. Finally, the Beer Master (Too Tuf) got the remaining DD for not equally dividing the beers he purchased amongst the unknown number of DDs awarded by the RA.
Announcements were brief as we have no hares allocated to do a trail until 6th March. Too Tuf and Chicki rapidly volunteered to set our next trail on Monday 26th January.

On On..... Durex

Trail TO the beer stop as done by Durex.
Trail FROM the beer stop as done by Durex.

MH3 Run 271, Exeter Arms, Derby

MH3 Run 271
Date: Monday 11th January 2016
Location: Exeter Arms, Derby
Hares: Gobalot with a little help from Oriface
Weather: Hint of drizzle in the air and feeling more like winter
Pack size: 13




The threat of drizzle faded and run 271 was done on a dry albeit cold evening. Having set many previous January MH3 trails from the centre of Derby in blizzards, deep snow and treacherously icy conditions, our hares today - Gobalot (chief hare) and Oriface (Helper) - got off lightly with the January weather.
Excellent choice of On Inn, the Exeter Arms, winner of the Derby CAMRA Food & Drink, Pub of the Year for the last three years. It's certainly in my top three favourite Derby pubs the only gripe as a Hash location being the lack of any nearby free parking before 8 pm. We parked on the road right outside the pub paying for an hour's parking (£2.20). Certainly a warm atmosphere inside with much of the pack staying on to do the quiz.
The hare promised us with some precision a trail of 4.8 miles and that's exactly what I did. I know my way around Derby but frequently found myself at the back repeatedly passing super-walker Seaman Stains. By the time we got to Markeaton Park on the A38 the pack was becoming well spread out, Butcher's Dog probably back in the pub already, Trianal who knows where, and Malteaser after disappearing down a long check finding herself bringing up the rear behind Seaman Stains who, although a walker, usually gets around the whole trail in about the same time as the r*nners. The hares made good use of a more direct route and often popped up in front of us (a small sub-group of Artless Dodger, Lightning Rod, Jelly Knob and myself) at strategic points towards the end.
For the hares, not so much a Derby trip down memory lane as a trip across THE Zebra Crossing - the place where they first met 41 years ago.

The circle was led by Dobber in the somewhat cooler back room of the Exeter Arms. On the day the death of David Bowie was announced Lionel took the first DD as being the representative of someone from another planet. Trianal got his customary DD for many reasons, dressed like a vicar, forcing us to move from the cosy room in the pub and checking out the trail before everyone else had arrived. Malteaser got the third DD for hugging the rug, or should I say hogging it. The pub had kindly provided fleece blankets to keep us warm in the cool room though Malteaser kept the one big enough for three persons to herself. Seaman Stains got the penultimate DD for his competitive walking. The Final DD of course went to the hares for an excellent trail, just right for a cold winter's evening.

On On
Durex

Trail as run by Durex

QH3 Run 891. Bluebell, Attenborough

RUN #891

Date : Sunday 3rd January 2016
Location: Bluebell, Attenborough, Nottingham 
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Wet and windy
Pack size: 17






A Winter's Trail (in remembrance that this is the 400th year since Shakespeare's death) or a CSI Investigation (given the forensic skills needed to find some of the flour)? These were some of the suggestions for naming today's run. There was also much speculation regarding the wet weather, our first wet trail since the end of March, the week before Chicki became RA. Had Chicki failed to renew the annual subscription to her weather app or was she just sharing the rain a bit more fairly? On arrival she gave her excuse feeling too tired to look after the weather! Don't complain about having to negotiate those slippery muddy paths if you don't take care of the weather.

Barritone always sets a very well marked trail so, even fore-warned, the extent of the obliterated flour trail on the public paths of the Attenborough Nature Reserve was a surprise, Someone had done a really good job removing every blob, rather pointlessly as the heavy rain was doing this anyway. Strangely enough the blobs were removed but not the bars. With a few hints from the hare, the pack did manage to find the correct trail. I was expecting a fairly simple trail around the Attenborough  but Barritone managed to find paths not used before.

Back at the On Inn the pub matched the miserable weather. A review of the pub I found from September 2013 still seemed very relevant today:
"A Flaming Grill pub with their hellish colour scheme approached through a large, empty car park .....There is a horrible suburban feel to it, and the staff appear dull and generally characterless. This is a bland establishment which was probably more interesting as a building site."

The circle was held inside commencing with (1) Shagulater getting a wee one -

Too Tuf - QH3's first 600 timer

how was he warming up his hands? (2) Butcher's Dog - leading the pack down 'an authorised person only track'. (3) Butt Plug and and Durex for RA abuse. (4) IP took a DD for Sweet Pea for zooming past Chicki who was going at a snail's pace through the muddy bits. (5) B*gger whose physio means he can now run. (6) Too Tuf and Sausage for run name suggestions. (7) Too Tuf again for the momentous event of becoming the first Quorn hasher to reach 600 runs. (8) During the run discussion the inevitable 'best trail of the year' was mentioned. The whereabouts of the promised Llamas and sheep was questioned. A secret ballot was so secret I missed the results but I think it was an excellent trail set under difficult conditions. Well laid Barritone. (9) Sweet Pea received a hashy birthday....and we finished with the hash hymn.
So starteth another hash year  .....Durex

Trail as run by Durex