QH3 Run 833 The Newshouse, Nottingham

RUN #833
Date: Tuesday 27th May 2014
Location: The Newshouse, Nottingham (NG1 7HB)
Hares:Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Just about not raining
Pack size: 8

Unusually for the QH3 this was a Tuesday evening trail on account of the fact that most of us have better things to do over a Bank Holiday. As expected, we had our smallest pack of the year. Given the short notice of venue and time the six that did turn up (in addition to the hares), including newcomer Josh, did well to make it.

The hares set this as a live trail, buying plenty of time for themselves with

Welcome to the Quorn Hash Josh

cunning checks in an urban environment with few hares to check them out. Malteaser resisted the temptation to go shopping and we all moved around the trail at an unleisurely pace. It was the squarest trail of the year so far (see GPS map below).

On account of the momentary dry spell for the duration of the trail, Durex was the natural choice for RA in the absence of the proper one and the curate. It was a relatively short circle - newcomer Josh got a DD and the hares received special attention. The long list of charges for webmaster (Chicki) and hareline (Too Tuf) mismanagement was placed before a seated circle and full pint DDs were awarded to these hares for a marginally good run, saved from hash shit by the use of quality flour in a pink bag.

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 832 The Burnt Stump, Arnold, Nottingham

RUN #832
Date: Sunday 18th May 2014
Location: The Burnt Stump, Arnold, Nottingham (NG5 8PQ)
Hare:Butt Plug
Weather: Sunny and hottest day of the year so far (23ºC).
Pack size: 22

One month of the 'new' Mismanagement Committee and most are performing to expectation. Grand Master missing a rare trail due to more important activities, beer mistress yet again forgot the dispensing eqipment and the web-master failed to update the web site. Hot Air compared the web site to a dogging site - trying to keep the location secret until the latest possible moment. She later described part of the trail to a SAS assault course making us wonder just what she gets up to in her spare time.
Only the RA Butt Plug seemed to be functioning correctly with splendid weather organised. Well if you can't organise good weather for your own hash then there is little hope.
There was a good sized pack, the largest of the year so far, swelled by

Debriefs doing the 'SAS assault course' decent

visiting hashers and newcomers associated with Slack Bladder. The trail itself wound around a small part of Sherwood Forest, was short in length but had some excellent checks, including an interesting descent down a steep embankment and back up again.

A cool leafy check in Sherwood Forest

There was also some new hash markings. The first was a big question mark near the end which indicated the pack could choose the way back, either straight down the road or back along the On Out trail. This could set an interesting precedent. How long before a hare just puts a big question mark at the start of the trail? The second was personalised directional arrows, in this instance directing Skids back to the On Inn. Just imagine being able to tell individual hashers where to go!
The RA (being the hare) was replaced  by Curate Captain Oates who without notes led the circle commencing with 5 visitors, two of whom Barbie and Barberella were clearly experienced hashers from Devon. Matt was given a further DD for being an FRB. Other DDs were given to: Hot Air (for implying she knew what an SAS assault course was like); Skids for having personalised hash marking; Malteaser for forgetting the Beer Master's equipment again; Captain Oates for spending a day's wages on getting a taxi part-way to the hash; and Barritone for suggesting the 'What Muff comparison site' as being how Butt Plug found the seller of his new car.

Sam, who forever in the world of hashing,
will now be known as Debriefed

Sam finally got named today. Nominations were 'Silent Witness', 'Silent Wetness' and 'Debriefed', the latter getting the popular vote so Debriefed was formally named. The Curate's hat was also christened with beer (too bad it was Diarrhoea's) when it was pointed out that no hats were allowed inside the circle. The Curate was too much of a novice to invoke hash rule 5(b) and bring Too Tuf in for false accusation.
The hare was thanked for a good run awarded, by secret ballot, 42%.

Trail as done by Durex

MH3 Run 251 Furnace Inn, Derby

RUN #251
Date: Monday 12th May 2014
Location: Furnace Inn, Derby (DE1 3BX)
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Between showers 
Pack size: 17

Well that's another fine real ale pub we've hashed from in 2014! Barritone, our freshly half-centurial hare, has discovered an excellent hashing pub - Furnace Inn, Derby 2014 Camra pub of the year.

Happy 50th Birthday Barritone

The trail went out through Darley Abbey park and up to the toll bridge across the Derwent. Here the whole pack, even Dobber at walking pace, broke the 2 mph speed limit. Indeed this was a fast trail taking us out on to the 'Great Northern Greenway' a cycleway we've never quite managed to incorporate into a Derby hash trail before.

In the circle FRB Beefeater received the first DD (racing past Dobber to get to the On Inn first). Others were awarded to SCBs Durex and Diarrhoea (intelligent hashing taking the shortest route between two points); Malteaser (falling of a log in Darley Abbey park); B*gger (not calling); and Trianal for a very nifty sports jacket. 

Despite not having a single sheep on a Derbyshire trail, the hare was awarded a good run and received the hashy birthday treatment. This included very tasty biscuits in the shape of a '50' specially commissioned by Goblin.

To round off the evening we had live music including several unaccompanied offerings from Barritone.

A good way to spend a Monday evening.

On On ....Durex

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 831 The Woodlark Inn, Lambley

RUN #831
Date: Sunday 4th May 2014
Location: The Woodlark Inn, Lambley (NG4 4QB)
Hares: Free Willy and Sam
Weather: Sunny 
Pack size: 14

The trail ended with a memorable 250 m
wade down Lambley Mumble

Lambley has been the location of some excellent QH3 hash trails and today was no exception. The pack was made up to a reasonable size with returning visitors No Idea, Misled and How Long? travelling up from down south. Virgin hares Free Willy and Sam (no hash name yet!) set an exemplary hash trail with a memorable wade down Lambley Dumble. Brilliant weather again and an RA who turns up for hashes (if not banned from the pub).
Butt Plug led the circle with new Curate Captain Oates receiving on-the-job training and advice. First down-down (DD) went to Skids for dictating who should be checking what trails at the second check. Goblin had headgear that no longer fitted at the end of the run, the only conclusion being her head had shrunk. Durex was done for RA abuse. On a busy road he suggested the RA go in front as he was more expendable than hash cash. It was a very interesting running order on the road, GM followed by RA, Hash Cash, Curate and Beer Mistress. Only the latter nearly got hit by a van, must be that she was equivalent to a wide load. We must make a rule about running protocol on busy roads - it would be tragic if the entire mismanagement committee was eliminated in a single RTA. Malteaser was punished for persistent FRBing (is the rest of the hash really getting so slow?). Finally, Free Willy and Sam were thanked for an excellent first trail as QH3 hares. They've set the bar very high.
That was my view of the day's proceedings, ON ON...Durex

Trail as done by B*gger

AH4 Run 54. The Black Cow, Dalbury Lees

RUN #51
Date: Saturday 3rd May 2014
Location: The Black Cow, Dalbury Lees (DE6 5BE)
Hare: Durex and Malteaser
Weather: Glorious sunshine 
Pack size: 14 

Rarely have I seen so many public footpaths crisscrossing an area. It was a shame most of them are so poorly marked and maintained. Even the Bonnie Prince Charlie Way is now difficult to find in parts. (This is a way-marked route from Ashbourne to Derby to celebrate the 60th anniversary (1995) of the formation of the Ramblers' Association,  a route following the general direction of Prince Charles Edward Stuart's march 250 years previously from Ashbourne to Derby in 1745). What sense is there in building splendid new bridges on a public footpath when nobody can find the route of the path? The hash does a great service in keeping such path 'used'.

I enjoyed this hash: lovely weather, a good pack including returning newcomers, unfamiliar hashing trail, excellent ON INN serving one of the best new ales I've had for a long time (4 T's Brewery's 'Get down and dirty'), followed by fish and chips. Only the cake was missing.

DDs were awarded to B*gger (doing two river crossings when only one was set); Captain Oates (complicit in the fact that two footbridges were barred when the hares only barred one); Newcomer (Jamie); Muff Shot (Geoff) and Two Bob (Florim) - new hash names; ASB and Hash Puppy (doing the short trail); Horse's Arse (scaring the cows); Slip 'er one (running over a bar on the bridge); Two Bob (new running shoes); and Durex and Malteaser (for obviously setting a fantastic Hash.

Trail as swept by Hare Durex

Trail as done by GM  ( again longer than the distance the hares did to set it!)