QH3 Run 830. The Plough Keyworth

RUN #830
Date: Monday 28th April 2014
Location: The Plough Inn, Keyworth (NG12 5AH)
Hare: Butcher's Dog
Weather: Dry 
Pack size: 13 

The hare's job in selecting an ON INN pub is not always straightforward. There is now an ever increasing check-list of requirements to satisfy. (1) The pub serves decent beer - the Plough had satisfactory provision of draught ale, though only one-third of the available beers when it was Too Tuf and Chicki's local. (2) Good location for access and trails - good bus service with the Keyworth Connection, plenty of car parking space and ideal sub-urban country paths for a Monday night trail. (3) Pub takes dogs, pretty important when the hare's one! (4) Check whether any hashers are banned - where was the RA tonight?

This was familiar hashing territory having had my work-base in Keyworth for 34 years, although nine different home addresses during that period. Stand-in RA and our new Curate did a decent job with the weather which bodes well for the future. It was a good length trail (approx 5.5 miles) that did manage to raise a sweat for my first sustained period of jogging in more than two months.

Trail as done by Durex

Curate (Captain Oates) led the circle for the first time and received a DD for doing so. Other rewards were handed out to (in no particular order): Too Tuf (Hashy Birthday next day); Malteaser (failing to bring the Beer Mistress equipment); Beefeater (Billy Joel look-alike); Ballcrusher (interfering with an OAP); Diarrhoea (trail blazing); Durex for believing a public footpath was still a public footpath, even when closed; Barritone for sheep-like behaviour in following Durex on the aforementioned trail;  and the Hare (Butcher's Dog) for a 42% hash trail.

That's how I saw it...ON ON Durex

QH3 Run 829. The Star Inn, Beeston

RUN #829
Date: Sunday 20th April 2014 (Easter)
Location: Star Inn, Beeston (NG9 1FX)
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Dry after a shower
Pack size: 14 

Easter took the hash by surprise this year, new committee elected at the last hash and unusually we hashed on Easter Day. Thanks to Barritone for stepping in as hare at short notice. Despite being Easter we got a good-sized pack, even the rainy start to the day didn't put many off. We even had three returning visitors from down south, No Idea, Misled and How Long?
It had stopped raining by the time it came to the On Out, proving the new RA (Butt Plug) is no disciple of the former rain-making RA Too Tuf. Shame the new curate (Captain Oates) was not present for on-the-job training.
The new GM (Bugger) ensured the pack left the pub promptly, though before the hare had returned - we can always be confident that Barritone will lay a trail that can be easily followed without complications. The hare caught us up in time to tell us about the Easter egg check on the bank of the River Trent. Some eggs were hard won with hashers searching in the stinging nettles. Too Tuf failed to provide chocolate for Chicki - between them they only managed to find a bag of dog poo.
Visitor How Long? was today's FRB but showed commendable hash behaviour in waiting for the pack to catch up.
Back at the On Inn, Sam (no hash name yet) had made a lovely Easter chocolate and banana cake. This, along with the excellent refurbishment at the Star with a great choice of beers, made the On Inn receive many accolades. Free Willy emptied out his pockets to demonstrate who was the most prolific egg hunter.
Butt Plug led the circle with Malteaser relearning the job of Beer Mistress. More training is needed in use of the spirit level.
DDs were awarded to: Too Tuf (rapid pint clearance in order to catch train); Chicki (being in charge of animal on railway crossing and not phoning the fat controller); How Long? (FRB and visitor); Misled and No Idea (visitors); Goblin (weeing on the trail); and hare Barritone for a good run. Despite Sam's efforts to bribe us with a cake, after much discussion we still failed to arrive at a hash name, BJs, Jungle Bunny and Missing Briefs being suggested.
We liked the new Star and I'm sure we'll be back,
On On
Durex

Trail as done by Durex

MH3 Run 250. The Chequers Inn, Ticknall

Run No: 250
Date: Monday 14th April 2014
Location: The Chequers Inn, Ticknall (DE73 7JH)
Hares: Gobalot & Oriface
Weather: Dry 
Pack size: 21 

This is how B*gger saw the 250th run of MH3:

R*nners trail - I logged 4.15 miles in 49 mins, although hares had stated in the circle that the route was 4.6 - 6 miles  Nice trail through Calke Park and along the Ticknall Tramway. W*lkers trail - No idea, although they got back to the pub a good 30 mins after the r*nners

Several hashers that we had not seen for a while made an appearance:  Beer Barbie & OND finally managed to co-ordinate time off from Danish Uni with a hash they could get to, Ballcrusher is now out of hibernation and Major Tosser who is actually now a 2nd Luietenant having passed out of Sandhurst at the weekend, plus Beer & Loathing, Lightening Rod, along with Sue (Mrs Dobber) joined the walkers.

Dobber supplied free beer to celebrate the 250th hash.

Short circle in the smoking shelter - usual suspects i.e. me, B&L, LR, Barbie, Barrtione & Hares, but missed Captain Oates hedging his bets at a hedge - he lacked stile and Wriggle, wriggling out of garments on the run.

The trail B*gger did

QH3 Run 828, White Lion, Rempstone

RUN #828
Date: Sunday 6th April 2014
Location: White Lion, Rempstone
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Dry and mild
Pack size: 13 

A text message was received from the hares that the flour trail was indeed very fresh and the hares were unlikely to be back before our 11:00 am start. I started walking at the back of the pack with Smutley, though alarmingly when I started to jog, the first for about month, it wasn't much faster than 

GM elect waiting at the bar

Smutley's walking pace. A well-laid trail meant we kept up with the pack with false trails doing their job. There was a notably long period of checking when we hit the Hoton road. I decided which would be the quickest way back and headed in that direction. This was along a trail previously poorly checked by Malteaser and it turned out to be the correct way.
From this point I declined the encouragement of Wallington to shortcut and completed all the trail with the exception of the tunnel under the road. That would have been the final straw for my poorly back.
Today was the committee elections, well basically the outgoing GM tells us all who the new mismanagement committee is. Normally there's no campaigning, a protocol blatantly disregarded by Captain Oates who was actively petitioning NOT the be the next Beer Master. When asked to get four pints for the DDs he turned up with one beer, one cider, a pint of Coke, cold tea and some crisps, and didn't know how much they cost. I thought he needed at least another year's training.

Bugger once again stood in for our never present RA. Hot Air (prickled bottom) and Smutley (inappropriate hashing attire) got the cider; Goblin got the cold tea in a new hashing shoe and Malteaser choose the beer for her premature rejection of the correct trail. Wallington got the crisps mixed with a little Coke for managing to lip-read from Bugger's behind. That just left the rest of the Coke to be shared by the hares congratulated for a good run and original trail.

Outgoing Grand Master Chicki announced the new mismanagement committee:

Grand Master: Bugger
Religious Advisor: Butt Plug
Cash and Stats: Durex
Curate: Captain Oates
Web Master: Chicki
Hare Razor: Too Tuf
Music: IP and Sweat Pea
Flash: Diarrhoea
Beer Master: Malteaser
Horn: Barritone
Minor Part: Hot Air

That's the way it was,
DUREX

Trail as done slowly by Durex

AH4 Run 50. Rose & Crown, Brailsford

RUN #50
Date: Saturday 5th April 2014
Location: Rose & Crown, Brailsford
Hare: Horse's Arse
Weather: Overcast with showers
Pack size: nearly 30

The Ashbourne Hash has made it to 50 trails! Andean Sex Beast's baby has grown up and we're here to stay. A pack of around 30 hashers turned up to celebrate this milestone, swollen by a good number from Birmingham who had the added excuse of celebrating Tweeny's birthday. 

Most of the hashers that did Run # 50

It was a fantastic start to the trail. We had hardly left the Rose & Crown's car park when we had the first of two beer stops. I like this concept. A beer stop after just 500 m is a sensible way of letting latecomers (Smutley and Captain Oates) catch up. Though alas not Hot Air. She failed to appreciate the magnitude of road works and traffic delays on the A38 through Derby.

Welcome to the hash Lab Rat

It was a long and challenging trail with plenty of shiggy. Swings both ways recorded more than nine miles (see below) doing the long trail, other options were available and walkers were well catered for. The complexities of trails splitting and joining again proved difficult for the intelligence of most hashers. The walkers for example went missing prior to the second beer stop having correctly followed the flour trail but in the reverse direction of the longer trail. At this point Non-runner was rumbled for having a GPS with a map.

Hash Puppy getting DD for slippers
in the circle. Good idea, perhaps we
should make slippers at the On Inn
 compulsory

In the circle ASB and Tweeny took the DDs for the birthday celebrations and Stretchy for being so obtrusively pink. We also welcomed Lab Rat to the Ashbourne Hash, I hope your anticipated new arrival doesn't get in the way of your future hashing.
Horse's Arse was thanked for a good run, lots of other photos are posted to the AH4 Facebook page.

Birmingham Hashers seriously pink

Long trail as done by Swings both ways

Trail as recced by Hare (Horse's Arse)

QH3 Run 827, JC's Bar, Loughborough University

RUN #827
Date: Monday 31st March 2014
Location: JC's Bar, Loughborough University
Hares: Captain Oates and Artless Dodger
Weather: Very mild holding off heavy rain showers
Pack size: 14 

Captain Oates has set a very high bar with his haring to-date, so expectations for an 'interesting' run were high, especially as the Artless Dodger made up this laying team with his maiden QH3 trail. We were back to Loughborough Uni for the first time in 20 years (last used run # 130) therefore unfamiliar ground for most. The On Inn was at JC's bar, named in honour of John Cooper, a distinguished Loughborough athlete who won two silver medals at the 1964 Tokoyo Olympics. A fitting location for the athletic bunch of 14 hashers who turned up for this evening's entertainment.
As you all know, there are no rules on the hash (Rule No. 1). So I guess the facts that this trail had: no parking, no dogs in bar, no draught beer and no sheep will soon be forgotten, except perhaps by the 2014 Hash Awards committee.  We will remember it for its length (see below, Bugger recorded 7.3 miles and it is rumoured we didn't do all the trail), the trip up and down a listed tower block (Towers Hall), a beer stop and a run around the Loughborough running track.
Not that I saw most of the trail. An initial burst of 'front walking' happened just after the On Out, simply because we'd seen the flour trail along the Ashby Road as we had driven in. Only Swings both Ways had the courage to follow me, just managing to squeeze in this March trail to fulfil his tenancy agreement to run at least two hashes a month. A smart short-cut saw me doing another stretch of 'front walking' which unfortunately led to my nomination as 'hash doorstop' whilst I waited for most hashers (apologies to Butt Plug and Bugger) to enter Towers Hall.
We had started late waiting for Barritone to tie up his trusty steed. By 20:15 my back had had enough and I headed back to JCs to sit on my own waiting another hour for the pack to return. I received the occasional telephone updates from Malteaser as to where everyone was. Other memories from the trail were Chicki questioning why a hash trail needed to go up a 20+ storey tower block; Malteaser and Smutley both calling ON ON in different directions (with the pack wrongly choosing to follow Smutley); Diarrhoea not wearing his grey fleece on the run, and the disappointment on Bugger's face when he found that he had missed the trail to the top of the tower block.
Energy sapped from most, I led the circle with DDs of 'Devil's Wee', lager served so cold that it had no taste. The hares put a lot of time into this trail and were thanked for a 'memorable' hash.

That's the way I saw it,
DUREX

Trail as done by Bugger