MH3 Run 255. The Hollybush Inn, Breedon on the Hill

RUN #255

Date : Monday 8th September 2014
Location: The Hollybush Inn, Breedon on the Hill (DE73 8AT) 
Hares: Oriface and Gobalot
Weather: Lovely late summer evening
Pack size: about 15





You wait for a hash then three come along at once! The calendar conspired to have the second Monday of the month after the first weekend so East Midland Hashers had the opportunity to do AH4, QH3 and MH3 on 3 consecutive days. An opportunity taken by Diarrhoea and myself.
Nice to see the Hollybush has reopened again. Always a nice venue for a hash. Hares notified us of a slight change of plan to the trail due to a stroppy farmer. You wouldn't have guessed. A sensible length hash with good checks, most of which were in the first half. The promised great views were a ruse by the hares to make us think we'd be going to the top of the hill, something the trail didn't do though several checking hounds tried. 
In the circle Trianal was punished for basically being a FRB. Durex had a DD for worrying the MH3 GM over the weekend by suggesting as many as 20,000 people would be in Mickleover for the water slide. Other DDs went to: Seaman Stains (competive walking -what's the hash coming to when one of the walkers gets involved in the checking!); K2 (welcome back); Steve (newcomer to the MH3); and the hares of course for a good run.

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 843. The ExperiMENTAL run. Dry Dock, Leicester

RUN #843

Date : Sunday 7th September 2014
Location: The Dry Dock, Leicester (LE2 7TF) 
Hare: Captain Oates
Weather: Glorious sunshine
Pack size: 11



Hashing started in 1938 and in the subsequent 76 years many thousands of hashes have been spawned worldwide. The collective experience means all operate within the bounds of a loose set of rules, rule one being 'there are no rules'. Forget tradition - today our hare decided to experiment with the usual trail format to bring us an entertaining and memorable trail. An experimental trail with an emphasis on the MENTAL bit. Where should I start. So much to report I even had to write down some notes.
Yesterday  our hare was seen at the Ashbourne Hash in Uttoxeter enquiring whether anyone had a map of the south of Leicester. The On Inn had been selected on the basis that the when the hare had driven by it looked a cool place, promised real ales and allowed dogs outside. Only the latter was true, though probably not an active policy of the pub alone. 

New Hash markings for pack 1 and pack 2

The pub car park was a pay-and-display (not popular for a hash) and it was noted that the hare had purchased an all day ticket. Hounds were seen debating whether 2 or 4 hours would be enough. Then we got to the interesting bit. We were introduced to some new hash markings, something akin to html computer coding (see photo). 
The seven hounds present at this location on the southern extremity of our hashing area (it will be closer for me to get to our away bunkhouse weekend in October) were split into two groups. Each group was to follow its designated trail (P1 and P2) with promised fish hooks, holding checks and a croissant stop.

The hare, after previous tuition from B*gger on the
use of waymarkers, kindly provided one of his own.

In my group was B*gger and Diarrhoea and we worked well together to make make progress to the first holding check outside the railway station. Brilliant idea to split an already small pack into an even smaller group in a city area with numerous false trails across dual carriage-ways crossable only at long-delay pelican crossings. It was a glorious sunny day and we wanted to be out running in the countryside. This wish was granted when the hare's master plan(?) became more apparent at the railway station holding check. Earlier, the day became more confused when a third group of hashers (Butt Plug, Chicki and Too Tuf) arrived late having been misdirected by the wrong postcode on the website. Another pre-trail briefing over the phone was necessary but the newcomers mistook the outer bracket on explanatory signs outside the pub as a directional arrow, unfortunately pointing the wrong way out.

Croissant Stop marked on trail

At the railway station it was disclosed that our hare had planned a train journey as part of the trail but for a long list of reasons this would have been totally impractical. Instead, our lone hare intended to ferry hounds in his tiny car out of the city. Luckily, I was in the first group to be transported, a 3-mile car journey where the hare gave a good impression of not knowing where he was going. Other groups apparently got bored at their holding checks waiting for our hare and wandered off. The countryside bit of the trail had some interesting markings including a very authentic waymarker made by the hare specially for B*gger. The redeeming part of the trail was a croissant stop though we did arrive at this point just as the hare was arriving to hide them. Here two groups were reunited and the decision was made to head for home even though the hare hadn't had time to lay the end of the trail. 
At the On Inn could things get any worse for the hare? Yes. The one beer, that well known 'real ale' Doombar, ran out whilst the Down Down beers were being prepared. The hare had a lager DD, done in 3 parts.
Other DDs were given to: Diarrhoea (the only one to have access to a map on his techie phone but took the longest route back); newcomer Meryl on her first Quorn hash was named Heroine, either for directing Too Tuf into the path of a car or rescuing him from it; B*gger finally got his 400-timer shirt on his 423rd run; Chicki as webmaster took responsibility for the erroneous postcode; and Too Tuf had the last DD on the grounds that it would be the last beer he got in this pub.
Normally at our awards night we look for the shortest, longest, shiggiest trails etc. We're going to have to introduce a whole new load of categories for this trail. A trail which will go down in Quorn Hash history and talked about in the same revered terms as Run 557 (two hares and two different trails from adjacent pubs).
That's how I saw it...On On....Durex

Trail as done by Durex

AH4 Run 54. Bramshall Road Park, Uttoxeter

RUN #54

Date : Saturday 6th September 2014
Location: Bramshall Road Park, Uttoxeter (ST14 7PF) 
Hare: Wriggle
Weather: Warm but overcast
Pack size: 11



Those travelling from the north and east of the hash location would have come through dull misty drizzle. This was not the weather forecast for today! Fortunately for the RA, arriving at Bramshall Road Park it was dry but overcast. Moist arrived just on time for the run but was nervous about being allowed to park without paying. GM Horse's Arse was present to welcome us all to RUN 54 (note to ASB about her run numbering errors) and confuse the pack with his explanation of hash markings. We have to remember Wriggle uses the cross to mean, very logically, 'cross here' on a busy road.
This was a long Wriggle trail, a runners run (I recorded 8.5 miles) so I enjoyed it. It would have also suited virgin hasher Steve, a struggling athlete. There were short-cuts and a walkers trail, so everyone was kept happy. Perhaps with the exception of One Loose who arrived late and started going around backwards where the On Out and On Inn crossed over. Indeed the marked On Inn was long, particularly when there was already 7.8 miles on the clock.
The main part of the hash, the circle and social bit, was held a mile down the road at the Old Bramshall Inn. With food arriving, a rapid circle was held inside.
DDs included Mickleover Hash GM Dobber (welcome back after a long absence); newcomer Steve (also cautioned about use of words such as racing and winning and using mobile phone in the circle); Diarrhoea (usual not wearing fleece for running); Moist (criminal recently fined for parking offence); Captain Oates (for attending today's hash rather than doing  a recce for his Quorn Hash tomorrow); and One Loose (welcome back, arriving late and going around backwards). The latter also confessed to soon disappearing off to New Zealand with his family - so a temporary farewell?
The hare got a vote of 42% for the trail and was thanked for a good run.
That's the way I saw it.
On On....Durex

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 842. The Star Inn, West Leake

RUN #842

Date : TUESDAY 26th August 2014
Location: The Star Inn, West Leake (LE12 5RQ) 
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: Dry
Pack size: 10


A rare hash on a Tuesday night as Quorn Hashers usually have something better to do on Bank Holiday Mondays. The evening had the feel of autumn, no more public holidays until Christmas and slow hashers arriving back at dusk. The A-team was out checking tonight, led by Butcher's Dog, followed by myself, Trianal and Shang-lo, a sub-group of hashers raced around at unhash-like speed. The hares were caught 500 m before home and the last few checks were left unmarked just so the slower hashers (Captain Oates, Barritone, Bummer and Butt Plug) and had some checking to do.
In the pub's beer garden Butt Plug led the circle with DDs for Chicki (Hashy Birthday); Shang-lo (Quorn virgin); Barritone (wearing his work pass on the hash) and Captain Oates (for something that must have involved disorientation). The hares were thanked for a good run though didn't achieve the standard 42%.

That's the way I remember it...On On..Durex

Trail as run by Durex

MH3 Run 254. New Inn, Shardlow

RUN #254

Date : Monday 18th August 2014
Location: New Inn, Shardlow (DE72 2HG) 
Hare: Butcher's Dog
Weather: Dry with autumnal feel
Pack size: 20

A Butcher's Dog trail is always one where you know you'll get a good run and the New Inn is an On Inn with some excellent real ales on offer (Stairway to Heaven strongly recommended). Ballcrusher on his home ground tried hard not to lead the pack around unless he be accused of using local knowledge to unfair advantage. Instead it was Shang-lo, a triathlete not seen hashing for six or seven years, who set the early pace. We visited all the major waterways - Derwent, Trent and Trent-Mersey canal - and I found another irregular hasher doing his first run with Mickleover (Chris Luton, no hashname yet) trying to keep up with me at the front. B*gger and myself demonstrated that hash experience trumps speed when it comes to sniffing out the correct trail. Behind somewhere Oriface was unsuccessfully trying to catch us pushing the walkers out the way. Not a good idea if that happens to be RA Dobber. 
Back at the On Inn, most of us saw Barritone for the first time, cycling all the way from Nottingham meant he didn't arrive on time. Being Butcher's Dog's birthday hash, cake was available and this always gets my vote for a good run.

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 841. Poppy & Pint, West Bridgford

RUN #841

Date : Sunday 17th August 2014
Location: Poppy and Pint, West Bridgford, Nottingham (NG2 5DX) 
Hares: Diarrhoea and Captain Oates
Weather: Sunny with a blustery chill
Pack size: 15


This was a hash trail where once again we got two for the price of one. With Diarrhoea as hare we expect nothing less (see report for run no. 823). We got twice the normal length of run - 8.5 miles (though shorter options/cars were available); two beer stops, and; an assault course. 
Captain Oates was posing as a co-hare though clearly, after following him on a few false trails, he knew as much about where the trail was going as the rest of the pack. Diarrohea made use of the locally produced (Sneinton Mill) flour to mark the trail. This was brown and lumpy and in many places looked as though the people of Lady Bay had not enjoyed their meals the night before.
We were told to look out for the Passat Estate for the location of the first beer stop. This is not an area of Nottingham known to me but after just two miles, in the Holme Pierrepont water park, we did find Diarrhoea's car with the usual wide range of alcoholic beverages. I had a bottle of Saint Omer, a strong blonde beer of 4.8% which I'm ashamed to say the hash beer mistress (Malteaser) suggested we water down! I later discover that Saint Omer is not the patron saint of beer - there are many other saints who get this accolade the most popular being Saint Arnold.
I've jogged and raced around the Holme Pierrepont lake dozens of times but never the way today's hare took us. I did not know there are so many off-tarmac trails and an assault course in the woods. Following a shiggy-filled very smelly ravine which most hashers declined, the flour trail led us over an obstacle course, the kind that when tackled by such a bunch of unfit geriatrics usually results in a broken or at least a sprained wrist. We all survived (see photos below).
Apparently there were three nature reserves and the hare kept trying to lead us up dead-end trails to look at some grass growing.
The second beer stop came after 5.5 miles and one third of the pack opted for the 'shorter' route straight back along the road. Enema who was put in charge of the walkers arrived at this beer stop just as the main pack. Excellent timing. Alarmingly, the trail from here continued in a direction still travelling away from West Bridgford. A shower of cooling rain refreshed us. The co-hare (trying to justify his billing) was spotted laying a blob of flour on one of the final checks which caused some confusion and spread the pack out on the 3 mile dash for home. This was led by visiting Donington hashers Mother's Day and young William.
We have a RA this year (Butt Plug) who attends most hashes so one would hope our Curate (Captain Oates) is getting plenty of on-the-job training. There was a big accolade for Barritone who became only the third Quorn hashers to have reached 500 runs. I thought I got a DD for wearing a T-Shirt to match the date - 17th August Indonesian Independence Day. Butt Plug insisted it was because it had some pink bits on it. Visitors from Donington - Mother's Day and young William - were welcomed to the Quorn Hash though Notts TV star Shagulater took on the challenge of William's discarded orange juice. Apparently Shagulater was being interviewed about flying, or should I say the fear of flying - should have talked to some of his passengers!
The hares, particularly Diarrhoea, were congratulated for setting such a memorable run. That left one DD for supposedly 399 timer Malteaser and her performance on the rope walk (an award which would have surely gone to Chicki if she hadn't been away enjoying herself in Norfolk). Actually, on reflection this was Malteaser's four hundredth Quorn run. But two monster timers on one run is too much.
That's how I remembered it.

Malteaser - 400 runs with Quorn and finally netted

ON ON 
Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Barritone - 500 Times running with Quorn and the occasional walk in the air

 

Are you On?

 

Welcome to the Quorn Hash Mother's Day

Notts TV star Shagulater doing tea pot impression
whilst drinking orange juice

QH3 Run 840 and AH4 Run 53. Manifold Inn, Hulme End

QH3 RUN #840 - AH4 RUN #53

Date : Sunday 3rd August 2014
Location: The Manifold Inn, Hulme End (near Hartington)
Hares: Butt Plug and Underlay
Weather: Warm and dry
Pack size: 15

This was a joint run between QH3 and AH4 giving a reasonable pack size at a time when many are away on summer holidays. Dedicated hares (Butt Plug and Underlay) camped overnight to ensure we had a trail to run in the Staffordshire Peak District. They must have been mightily relieved that the heavy rain of Saturday was replaced by a warm dry Sunday.
There were quite a few walkers today led by Underlay with a heavily strapped knee. Non-Runner, of course protecting his reputation, was joined by Mama Rose, Enema, Horse's Arse, ASB and Wriggle. The latter two were fresh back from a previous weekend of hashing in Brussels.
Diarrhoea was seen doing a shortcut, nothing unusual in that, it was the hanging from the barbed-wire by his shorts that attracted attention. More of a short rip than a short cut.
For the faster hashers (note I don't use the term runners) the first fish hook proved very unpopular coming after a 100 m stretch of stinging nettles at the bottom of a steep hill. Soon afterwards we found ourselves on Ecton Hill with many 3-D false trails all ending in bars. Thank goodness the hare guided us to the summit (369m). Most hashers were probably unaware of the 3500 years of mining history in the area - I couldn't resist scavenging in an old tailings tip for a bit of galena.

Summit of Ecton Hill

What was Diarrhoea doing?

Wicked checks on the slopes of Ecton Hill kept the pack together so we all arrived On Inn together along the Manifold Trail. Even Wallington for once kept up with the main pack but he did look knackered after completing the full trail which was recorded as anything between 6 to 7 miles.
The circle was squeezed in between different food courses with AH4 RA Durex awarding DDs to: Diarrhoea (shortcutting); Bugger (longcutting); Wriggle and ASB (enjoying themselves in Brussels whilst we had to stay at home); and Non-Runner who didn't run but was reported doing some downhill scree skiing. The hares were thanked for taking the time and trouble to set an excellent trail. We all say it, we must come and do more walks and runs in the Peak District. Finally, we mustn't forget to thank Goblin who yet again provided us all with her trademark shortbread hash feet.

On On into August...
Durex

Trail as done by Durex

Shorter trail done slowly by Horse's Arse