QH3 Run 917. The Embankment, Nottingham

RUN #917

Date : Monday 26th September 2016
Location: The Embankment, Nottingham
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: A dry window in an otherwise wet day
Pack size: 9

On a wet day like this you might be tempted to turn up with Wellington boots and an umbrella, though not on our hash where RA Chicki managed to open a window of dry weather for the evening. Dry weather, but still dark after 7 pm meaning we're now into the season of urban hashing for our Monday evening trails and torches very necessary. Considering the trail was laid the day before the flour had stuck remarkably well. However, there were long stretches where we ran on an ingredient of invisible flour - not even the brightest torch or hasher could find it. The hares shepherded us around and our latecoming visitor from the Boston Hash (Swedish Eagle) did well to find the ON OUT across Trent Bridge. An interesting shaped trail with two crossovers.
What's not to enjoy about the splendid ON INN that is the Embankment with and excellent choice of beers. In the circle the RA gave the following awards:
1. Puss 'n Boots for stalking the trail yestersday;
2. Lily the Pink for failing to trust the RA's weather control and putting her phone in a plastic bag to stop it getting wet;
3. Smutley whose Smart car became a left luggage office just managing to squeeze in Lily the Pink's broken head torch;
4. Swedish Eagle, visitor from the Boston Hash and latecomer. (He concluded our circle with a song and invited us all the the Boston Marathon hash event);
5. Pre-Mature seen running backwards and AGAIN had a challenging time safely crossing the road;
6. Diarrhoea who correctly predicted where the trail would go having set a hash from Sneinton over in this direction some time ago, demonstrating that this wasn't all the virgin trail the hares anticipated; and
7. The hares Too Tuf and Chicki were congratulated for a good run. Passing the Cheese Cake Shop was a nice touch but lost points as it was shut. After a public vote of 35% this was further reduced to 30% when the visitor complained about not marking the start for latecomers.

That's how my Monday evening turned out.

On On..... Durex 

Trail as done by Durex 

QH3 Run 916. Wheatsheaf, Bingham

RUN #916

Date : Sunday 18th September 2016
Location: Wheatsheaf, Bingham
Hares: Lily the Pink and Puss 'n Boots
Weather: Lovely sunshine
Pack size: 14

In the nearly 30 years of Quorn hash history it is surprising that this was only the fifth time we've run from Bingham. Last time we visited this pub was in April 2010 and since then it has been renamed, shut down and only recently reopened in August 2016. Whilst on historical facts, one of the hares laid claim to a family connection - once run by Puss 'n Boots' Great Grandmother Susannah then Grandada Gordon and Granny Marjorie.
The aforemention hare helped set the trail but was absent for the run, a risky tactic in the event of complaining hounds. It is very easy for any problems about the trail to be blamed on the absent hare. Last time I set a trail and then ran elsewhere with another hash, someone (Enema) broke a wrist on the my trail and my cohare had to pick up the pieces. No such excitement today. A solidly good trail. If there was an award for the oddest shaped trail (see GPS trace link below) this would be a prime candidate. And then the RA just keeps giving us wonderful sunny hashes month after month.
Today was a rare hash outing by Should be Felt who didn't have far to walk to get to the hash. She demonstrated a lot of local knowledge for the first two miles of the trail. RA Chicki was still running-in her new shoes from the back of the pack, although 'identical' to Too Tuf's they don't go as fast. This could either be attributed to shoe size or driver.
The end of the trail had a bonus loop where, with the On Inn in sight, all but Skids and Wallington went the extra mile plus. This included the 'hares' revenge', a narrow passage between hedges where it is rumoured (that is, a rumour started by Too Tuf) that a certain hasher had to take it sideways.
We sat out in the beer garden enyoying the September sunshine before the RA interrupted to give out awards as follows:
1. Malteaser for insinuating that the RA's shoes were the same size as Too Tuf's;
2. Butt Plug who inherited Chicki's last pair on new trainers and claimed he got lost wearing them;
3. Skids was welcomed back for her 198th Quorn hash. Two-hundred timer looming;
4. Wallington for his strapped up wrists. Why does he need to use two hands in front of the VDU?;
5. Durex, who on one of his many long checks choose to 'pass through the field boundary' rather than running the quarter-of-mile back again;
6. Diarrhoea for many sins including being a FRB, liking a big one and referring to his 'nuclear beer' (a new clear beer);
7. Too Tuf for insulting a fellow hasher (see earlier reference to a narrow path);
8. Not in this sequential order but more in context following the above, Ballcrusher received a DD for the comment that the insulted hasher should 'put it behind her';
9. Pre-Mature for throwing himself in front of a car on the A52. It was noted that he was absent from the last hash where the hare (Butt Plug) provided copies of the Green Cross Code;
10. Barritone took Should be Felt's DD for running with insider information; and finally
11. Hare Lily the Pink took the verdict from the Archers-like jury of eleven (one having gone home). They were found guilty of setting a good run.


On On into Autumn we go.. Durex

Trail as done by Durex

MH3 Run 279. The Half Moon, Littleover.

MH3 Run 279
Date: Monday 12th September 2016
Location: The Half Moon Inn, Littleover
Hare: Durex
Weather: Warm and dry
Pack size: 12

With temperatures set to soar this was like a mid-summer's evening, except it got dark at 7:30 pm. It's the time of year when hashers have to adjust to running in urban areas and in the dark. Torches and bright coloured attire required. The pack managed to find its way around eventually, but only after missing a check in the 'dark patch' allowed fast-walking Seaman Stains to take the lead. Parts of the trail were familiar, other bits were new and certainly joined up in a novel way. Nobody got lost and the walkers were already back in the beer garden before the main pack arrived.
The Half Moon is a good pub for an On-Inn. Dobber awarded DDs as follows:
1. Seaman Stains for smooching on the hash (with his wife);
2. Wriggle for 'window shopping', B*gger having left early escaped this award;
3. Smutley and Woggle coming dressed for autumn weather;
4. Durex the hare was thanked for the run; and
5. Lionel for having the 'wrong trousers'.


On On ..Durex

Trail as set by Durex

QH3 Run 915. Old Ship Inn, Lowdham

RUN #915

Date : Sunday 4th September 2016
Location: The Old Ship, Lowdham
Hare: Butt Plug
Weather: Dry and mild
Pack size: 9

Butt Plug trails are always contenders for 'Trail of the Year' and this could be another one, certainly gets my nomination for the best trail in September. We

Today's trail was a forager's dream, including
this puffball fungus

don't often hash this side of Nottingham and, although we have hashed from Lowdham before, much of this was virgin trail. It was certainly a forager's trail with abundant damson, plum and apple trees along the way, and the odd puff ball fungi. 
For her second successive run Chicki turned up in new shoes, identical to Too Tuf's but not as fast and still with the labels on. It is becoming increasingly difficult to get away with misdemeanors behind the RA's back on the trail. Especially today as she was 'running in' her new shoes from the back of the pack.

So just how did we manage to tell Chicki had new shoes?

It's good when hashers wear bright T-shirts (the exception being fluorescent pink) because you can see them a long way ahead and on checks. Both Wednesday and Diarrhoea had bright orange T-shirts and both did a lot of checking, as did Lily the Pink in her bright blue top. Barritone was on good form with the hash horn. It is difficult to get a note out of the horn whilst running on a hash let alone after having cycled all the way from Beeston.
I had to depart the On Inn early and missed the circle, so the following is from RA Chicki's notes:

DDs were awarded as follows:-

1. Durex - for furtive activity with plums.  Durex had left the hash to wash his hair before attending an important function so Barritone stepped forward as lookie-likey.

2. Too Tuf - for sticking his knob into a bush on the run.

3. Chicki - for new shoes again.

4. Lily the Pink - for refusing to check out an overgrown footpath because a nice hare wouldn't do that to the hash.

5. Wednesday - for being the only person who felt that she should read all the instructions on crossing the road safely, which were handed out by the hare because there were a couple of busy roads to negotiate.  Wednesday is a doctor but clearly still unsure of how to cross a road.

6. Wee Willie - for being very late for the run because he had gone to the wrong bus stop and then took Lily's suggestion of running to the hash seriously.

7. Butt Plug - for an excellent trail, although 58% was deducted for a couple of difficult foot paths making the trail 42%.

On On.. Durex

Trail as done by Durex

AH4 Run 64. The Water Bridge, Uttoxeter

AH4 RUN #64
Date : Saturday 3rd September 2016 (11:00)
Location: Water Bridge Inn, Uttoxeter
Hares: Wriggle  
Weather: Starting wet, becoming wetter 
Pack size: 10

Today the AH4 reassembled itself for a trail around Uttoxeter set by Wriggle. We arrived in the rain, it rained even more during the run but I do believe it had stopped by the time we went home. I was reminded many times that it was the responsibility of the Religious Adviser (i.e. me) to ensure good weather. I had to explain that the subscription for 'sunny dry weather' on the first Saturday of every month had now expired, and, as the AH4 hadn't been running regularly, I hadn't renewed.
Within the first mile I was well and truly wet through, mainly due to soakings from passing cars. The flour stuck surprising well and we did manage to follow the trail all the way around. This included a visit to Adam Peaty's street bedecked with union jacks plus a short excursion to see the Adams' Family home. Only the thunder and lightning was missing. We ticked off the list of all the things the hare warned us about - stinging nettles, shiggy and a long flight of broken steps. 

After an absence of AH4 trails for 11 months everyone was a welcome back. However, One Loos got the DD as a welcome back - we did do a farewell to him and his family several years ago when he went off to New Zealand. Now they're back again. We also had two hashers from the Rutland Hash - Bummer and Canary Boy - the latter running his first AH4 trail. Both were welcomed to our hash. There was a 'river' crossing on the trail. Usually we punish those that cross bars to keep their feet dry but today it was easier to reward Jelly Knob with a DD for strictly following hash rules, rather than punish all those (i.e. everyone else) that didn't. The mismanagement committee namely, Andean Sex Beast, received an award for only managing to organise one trail in the last eleven months. Hash Puppy was one of two that did a shorter version of the trail (guess who the second was?) and she received a DD for that. Finally, the hare Wriggle was thanked for a good trail which, despite the heavy rain, was laid well enough for us to find flour all the way around and nobody got lost. It was of good length too, most recording 7+ miles. Road Kill and Malteaser missed awards though the latter did 'shortcut' back but still managed to do 7 miles..

On On.. Durex

Trail as done by Durex