QH3 Run 868, Gate Inn, Awsworth

QH3 RUN #868
Date : Sunday 17 May 2015 (11:00)
Location: Gate Inn, Awsworth (NG16 2RN)
Hares: Durex and Malteaser
Weather: Cloudy but dry
Pack size: 15


It has been nearly two years since we ran from this On Inn, a surprising fact given that the pub serves and excellent range of real ales and with numerous footpaths in every direction the area is good for hashing trails in its now semi-bucolic setting.
I have an obvious bias in reporting on this excellent trail but it did go rather well considering we were last resort hares. Malteaser did come on a recce for this trail but fell within the first mile breaking her brand new glasses but fortunately not herself. The fourth check was one that all hares love to include - eight false trails from one point. It was where Chicki after her burst of front-running activity found herself back at the rear of the pack. I did try and be nice to the RA most the way around, always good to keep on the good side of the RA, as with the pack. Hence, the pork pies provided at the On Inn.Psychojellic, an obvious accomplished r*nner, acquainted herself with many of the false trails, so much much energy for one that had already BEFORE the hash negotiated the IKEA trail. Diarrhoea ran the entire trail in his fleece, obviously not adjusted back to the English climate.
Our new RA Chicki not only had the weather under control but also ran the circle in a refreshingly new manner. The circle was fun. We should never forget that hashing in more than just r*nning a trail. The new beer master Too Tuf was offering a wide range of beers for the Down-Downs, no cider required this week. DDs were offered and accepted by all in the following order:

1. Too Tuf for making a dog's breakfast of the dog's breakfast;
2. Goblin for attempted puppy-napping;
3. IP for wife abuse and the impressive Jag;
4. B*gger for RA abuse (claiming he had rarely seen Chicki checking so much) and the automatic opening/closing boot on his new car;
5. Wallington for a new car (we did cover details of what cruise control meant);
6. Ballcrusher for bush checking, that's what he said he was doing;
7. Psychojellic for her first run with the Quorn Hash;
8. Barritone, hashy birthday, shame the cake all went last Monday;
9. Malteaser - falterer, the hare that fell on the recce;
10. Durex, the other hare, for a good run though somewhat tarnished with RA abuse. RA claimed she had a list of all the DDs in her head, Durex thought that would be very easy to do as there was so much empty space there; and finally,
11. Dope, for self-advertisement, running with a Dope T-Shirt.

That's the way I saw our hashing Sunday, On On...Durex

Trail as done by B*gger

MH3 Run 262. The Railway, Sawley

MH3 Run 262
Date: Monday 13th April 2015
Location: The Railway, Sawley (NG10 3AP)
Hares: B*gger and Goblin
Weather: Warm spring evening
Pack size: 10

B*gger reports:

A motley bunch of hashers assembled on outside the Railway Inn on warm Spring evening, Ballcrusher, Butcher's Dog, Beer & Loathing, Seaman Stains, Spike and K2, Lionel and Dobber, with the hares B*gg*r and Goblin. Things didn’t start off well, with the pack disappearing in all directions except the right one at the first check before Seaman Stains sniffed out the correct route out of the estate and into the fields towards the River.  Butcher's Dog had to run a good ¼ mile before calling on along the flood bank at the next check, due to the trail being scrubbed out, even though the flour had been on the ground less than 3 hours. Past the farm, along the edge of golf course, the straight trail allowing Butcher's get some speed up, hence by the check on the canal she had disappeared along the tow path towards town.   

The trail actually crossed the fields towards the railway (virgin territory), with the hares offering some guidance, so that the pack could try to catch the front runners up.   However, apart from Butcher's, everyone else was actually behind – a long way behind for some, having gone off trail for a visit to Trent Lock.  At the point when hare decided that hashers were lost, Ballcrusher appeared up the trail and at the point when the hare decided he needed to go back to look for the other lost hound, Beer & Loathing appeared.

The trail followed the streets through the back streets of Long Eaton until a check – the flour highlighting the dog sh*t (with 8 false trails) had Butcher's stumped – she had ran all 8 falsies for quite a distance but only found 2 blobs in any direction.  The hare gave a big hint to Spike who found the correct trail slightly back up the trail, much to Butcher’s disgust.  

More streets, more checks around dog sh*t, the pack found themselves on the edge of Long Eaton ‘bustling’ town centre.   To get to West Park from the town centre, there is a footbridge over the canal from Broad Street.  The check at the foot of the bridge in the park, sent the FRBs different directions along the tarmac paths of the park, B&L getting the record for going further than Butcher's Dog in the wrong direction.  K2 found the trail going into the nature reserve next to the canal, then picking up the flood bank, care was needed here crossing a nasty strip of concrete before acheck at the end of the flood bank sent the entire pack looking for the trail in all directions across the sport fields.  At Wilsthorpe Road, the trail went back to the ‘Twitchells’ (a local word for alleys) for the route back to Sawley, passing the house just before the railway with the Blue Plaque on the wall, proudly announcing that   ‘On this site, on 17th September 1792, nothing happened’.

Back at the Railway Inn, where the house beer ‘Sawley’ was going down very well, a short circle was conducted by Dobber in the bar.  DDs were awarded to Beer & Loathing & Ballcrusher for getting lost, Butcher’s for being found wanting, Seaman Stains for being an FRB, Lionel for the usual and the hares for another good run from the Railway.

Trail as done by hare

MH3 Run 263. Patten Makers Arms, Duffield

MH3 Run 263
Date: Monday 11th May 2015
Location: Patten Makers Arms, Duffield (DE56 4EY)
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Summer on its way
Pack size: 12 





This was Barritone's Mickleover Hash birthday run and a glorious evening suggesting summer is on its way. The Patten Makers Arms' small car park provided the usual challenge for hashers lucky enough to find a space. Last to arrive, on foot, was local Trianal who claimed injury would slow him down. In fact, local knowledge overcame injury and he disappeared up front for the first two miles. At the back of the pack a jet-lagged Malteaser decided to walk with Seaman Stains but had to break into a jog to keep up with him.

Lots of sheep on this run, I counted 159 before I fell asleep!

Special birthday cup-cake check

Some excellent false trails were laid, helped on several occasions by the lack of any way markers on public footpaths. A special check was marked - a cup cake with a candle (see photo). The hare had calculated that the pack would arrive at this point at 8:00 pm, 51 years to the nearest minute since he was born. Not a bad estimate, we arrived 4 minutes early. We broke into a chorus of happy birthday and then moved rapidly on, Butcher's Dog and Trianal especially so.

In the pub the hare produced a wonderfully constructed Victoria Sandwich and expertly cut it into twelve very equal parts. I vote this is an excellent use of hash flour. DDs were handed out by the RA Dobber: 1: Jelly Knob  for misdirecting when marking a check; 2: Malteaser for competitive walking; 3: Smutley for turning up at the wrong pub last hash; 4: Trianal, so many things the RA forgot what for; and 5: finally, the hare got a full pint DD for an excellent trail.


That's the way it was in my world..On On..Durex

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 867. Queen's Head, Marlpool

QH3 RUN #867
Date : Sunday 3 May 2015 (11:00)
Location: Queen's Head, Marlpool (DE75 7NJ)
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Wet but improved once temporary RA appointed
Pack size: 7


I heard that whilst I'd been away a new RA (Chicki) had been appointed, the wet weather on arrival testified to that. Perhaps because of the weather, the new RA, and beer master (Too Tuf) chose to be absent. The GM appointed Durex as temporary RA, and yes, the drizzle stopped and the sun began to shine.

Visitor Window Dressing came poorly prepared for a hash trail dressed not for windows but just a walk in the park, and that's what he did as the trail went around Shipley Country Park. Butcher's Dog, as might be expected, set the pace but on account of the bright fluorescent pink top could be seen at a great distance. 

We always get a good trail from Barritone and we weren't disappointed. Surprisingly no sheep for a Derbyshire trail though hash master of puns Diarrhoea did point out the hare used lots of baaahs at the end of false trails. Shame Goblin wasn't here today, she would would have enjoyed the bluebell woods.

It was a pity that jet lag had prevented me from rising early enough to use public transport to get to this venue. We never made it into the Marlpool microbrewery - the Queens Head alone had an abundance of cask ales, all over 4.2%. Shame I, like most attending, was a driver. Barritone  certainly finds these excellent real ale venues. 

A short circle was held inside. Butcher's Dog got an aqueous DD for the fluorescent pink top and our visitor Window Dressing was greeted in the traditional hash manner. No secret ballot required for this trail, an excellent run and On Inn from Barritone.

That's the way I saw it, On On....Durex

Hash Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 866. The White Horse, Ruddington

QH3 RUN #866
Date : Monday 27 April 2015 (19:15)
Location: White Horse, Ruddington (NG11 6HD)
Hare: Butcher's Dog
Weather: Dry but cold
Pack size: 11

Three QH3 Virgins, Scribe Captain Oates and Hare Butcher's Dog (photo Trianal)

Captain Oates provided the following report:

Having not planned to write up anything about the run until now, my recollection is hazy at best so here's my vague report of Monday's Hash.

After several slightly amusing parking attempts by everyone in the tight and awkward spaces at the White Horse, we were about ready to make a start when 3 Quorn virgins turned up. The first 2 dashed into the pub to use the toilet whilst the 3rd virgin (Isabel/Isabella) went around the circle shaking everyone's hand (I can't recall shaking hands with any QH3 hashers before, the southern hashes must be far more civilised than we are!). When the others returned they were introduced Cinderella and (if you want the other name ask someone with a better memory than me!) and explained how they are all friends from Uni in Nottingham and between them had hashed in Bournemouth, various parts of Japan and Exeter if I remember rightly?. Then we were off out of the car park.

The weather was super, which was a spot of luck for the new RA (Chicki), who was very smug about this achievement, however later in the hash misty rain did start to appear, which was somehow blamed on the previous RA (Butt Plug).

I spent most of the time at the back with my pace setting wingman, Bummer. However after several poor tip offs for which direction to go at checks I eventually drifted towards the front of the pack where the ever competitive Freya was more than willing to have a race or two. The trail was a nice combination of streets and park footpaths with a comfortable number of checks. A lot of the checks were already marked when I got to them but from the Hares grumbling I gather a few of them were worked out annoyingly quickly by the front runners, isn't that always the way!

Back at the pub some of us had started to realise the silver lining to Durexs' absence, in that Hash Subs may have been waived. However, there's always one busy body, pen-pushing, do-gooder willing to collect them instead and in this case it was Chicki :-D. Meanwhile Trianal decided to take a group photo and whilst assembling people, one of the virgins was heard saying "Wait, let me just take my top off first".

When we stepped outside for the circle we made the most of the pub's complimentary blankets and each had one draped over us like some sort of ritual for witches. A few punters wondered outside for a smoke, saw us wearing blankets and chanting and immediately turned back to go inside.

Our new RA (Chicki) lead the circle with great enthusiasm and incorporated lots of rarely heard hash songs. Those of us that knew them (including some of the virgins) were keen to show this by enthusiastically singing along at the top of our voices, whereas those of us that didn't simply mumbled along and nodded a lot.

The DD's were (If I remember correctly):

Too Tuf - Hashy Birthday and demonstration to the virgins of the speed we expect Down Down's to be downed in.

Cinderella - Delaying the hash by using the toilets. (It was assumed that students can't afford toilet paper.) Also made a welcome request that Cider should be used in the down downs. I second that!

Virgin 3 - Delaying the hash by using the toilets. (It was assumed that students can't afford toilet paper.)

Isabella - Virgin to QH3

Captain Oates/Scroates - Putting Jaffa Cakes into a juicer. This was upheld despite having already received a down down for this a few weeks prior.

Bummer - Long time no see.

Butchers Dog - Hare of good trail.

A secret vote was taken, which returned a result of exactly 42%.

Ball Crusher informed us that we were to use the same system on May 7th.

The new committee was announced for anyone not at the AGM. This was (from what I remember):

GM - Bugger

Hare Razor - Goblin

RA - Chicki

Official Events Co-ordinator - Butt Plug

Beer Master - Too Tuf

Hash Del-Boy(Haberdashery/Merchandise) - Captain Oates

Hash Cash - Durex

Webmaster - Durex

Forgive the low definition on the map. The GPS feature on my torch is a little crude.

And that's the way Durex didn't see it.

OnOn

Captain Scroates

Trail as possibly done by Captain Oates

QH3 Run 865. Lord Nelson, Burton Joyce

QH3 RUN #865
Date : Sunday 19 April 2015 (11:00)
Location: Lord Nelson, Burton Joyce (NG14 5DN)
Hare: Butt Plug
Weather: Dry
Pack size: 5

This was the Quorn Hash AGM, an underwhelming attendance for the new committee elections. 

New committee posted on hash web site. 

B*gger Reports:
Arranged at short notice, Butt Plug stepped forward to set trail #865 from the Lord Nelson pub in Burton Joyce – the place where Butt Plug has his paper round.  Even with the draw of the AGM and the promise that anyone who didn’t turn could be lumbered with a horrible job, the pack was distinctly ‘light’, being Butt Plug the hare, Too Tuf and Chicki, Barritone and myself (B*gger).

The pack headed out along the main road back towards Nottingham, the first check being after about ½ mile.  This check had obviously been set with a bigger pack in mind, as I managed to go out of sight & therefore out of earshot of everyone else checking out a falsey.  Too Tuf had found the correct path leading towards a busy playing field.  Unfortunately, when Butt Plug set the trail, they weren’t playing football or practising Archery! Luckily there was a footpath on the other side of the hedge to the Archery targets (it was OK, it was a hedge impervious to arrows fired 150 yards away) enabling us to get back to the trail.  A long straight path along the side of the railway, lead us to another straight concrete track leading to the left.  At the next check, due to the small pack, Chicki was seen checking and of greater concern she didn’t come back, choosing instead to short cut using a route she devised on her own.  A few checks later we heading for the river Trent, although the arrow pointed the pack in odd direction – towards a smaller river and a tunnel – as there was flour down there, some of the pack (me), carried on through the tunnel.  Apart from a few cows blocking the route, the trail eventually found its way to the River Trent, which the pack followed apart from some minor deviations back to the pub.

As there were only a few tables available to non-eaters and these were all occupied it was decided to take advantage of the sunshine and sit outside – where a short sitting circle was conducted by Too Tuf who also had a cough up some money to ensure that all present got a DD. Chicki got one for blatant checking, B*gger for doing the river crossing even though nobody else did it, Barritone for not being able to catch a train to a town with a station but the first available train on a Sunday was at 6 pm and so had to peddle a good 20 miles on his rusty steed, Too Tuf awarded one to himself for having to buy some the DDs out of his own pocket.  Butt Plug was given the final DD for setting an interesting trail which was mainly on virgin territory trail at short notice.


On On, Durex, QH3 correspondent currently on leave in USA.

Trail as done by B*gger