MH3 Run 252. Puss in Boots, Duffield

RUN #252
Date: Monday 16th June 2014
Location: Puss in Boots, Duffield (DE56 4AQ)
Hare: Trianal
Weather: Warm and dry
Pack size: About 15





Every now and then we have a hash trail that sticks in the memory. This was one such hash. The hare (Trianal) introduced the trail to the hounds as 'Plan B' - 'Plan A' recced several days before proved impassable and impracticable because of poorly used and lost footpaths. We were warned that today's trail had a disappointing end because whilst setting the trail the hare had felt it had got long enough and had decided just to head back down the road. The omens were not good when the hare is making such excuses before the run has started!
The hare was correct, it was long (over six miles). This, along with the hills and few checks, meant this was very much a runners run and much to the liking of a Butcher's Dog who we briefly saw at the start. We came across interesting paths not hashed on before, including those that were indeed not public footpaths, a fact pointed out to us by the land owners. The lack of recce time by the hare for Plan B clearly showed, and it was left to the hounds to find the correct route rather than 'legging it' down a private driveway. Only Butcher's Dog had the stealth and speed to manage this. 
At one point the trail joined the route of the ongoing Duffield 5 km race, except we were going in the opposite direction. I was told 42 times that I was going the wrong way. Being Derbyshire we encountered numerous sheep, a high density flock having been recently gathered and shorn. The flour was widely spaced on long stretches of trail without checks. When checks were encountered, long false trails had to be run. It was after one of these - a long descent into Duffield - I found myself going from the front to the back of the pack and even behind fast walking Seaman Stains. He bravely persisted with the entire trail arriving back at the ON INN at 21:30, long after many of the tired hashers had gone home. 
Hot Air had decided to come running with hash rather than with her local athletics club. Good choice - she certainly got in plenty of running today plus the socialising one gets with a hash. We had a couple of newcomers from Leicester but alas by the time we got back to the pub they had to leave to catch a train home. There was no formal circle but Dobber did buy Trianal a drink for his effort as hare and also one for Seaman Stains as the last hound standing.
That's the way I saw it..
Durex

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 835, Dixies Arms, Bagthorpe

RUN #835

Date: Sunday 15th June 2014
Location: Dixies Arms, Bagthorpe (NG16 5HF)
Hares:Captain Oates and Hot Air
Weather: Warm but overcast
Pack size: 15

We liked our previous trail from the Dixies Arms so much we were back here again for Run#835. Hot Air was doing her virgin hare for Quorn under the misdirection of Captain Oates. The fact that the hares arrived back at the pub laying trails from two different directions set the scene for today's run. There was going to be, at some points on today's run, several multiple choice trails.
The first check was at a ford and predictably B*gger choose to check it out and

Rapid decent on the 'Others' Trail

B*gger pole dancing 

it was the right way. There were a number of quirks early on in the trail, including a deviation from the main footpath to run the other three sides of a field, the hare lying about the need to check to the left, and extra blobs up random cul-de-sacs which only I felt the need to check.
Then there was the trail through the woods. Here the hares experimented with flour texting including information such as 'Fathers', 'Others' and 'Lost'. The latter was not an instruction from the hares, just a cry for help from Hot Air.
In the woods the trail became most interesting - whilst the Father's got a special easy trail for Father's Day, 'Others' went on a SAS assault course involving several very steep ups and downs. The hares did well to find their way out of the woods and so did most of the pack. Extra effort was put into marking checks as Too Tuf and Chicki reliant on public transport were even later than usual.
Hot Air had bribed us with Jelly Babies at the start and at the finish a 'good run' verdict was assured with the provision of a pork pie, cheese and biscuits.
B*gger returned to RA duties with the Curate being a hare and Butt Plug being elsewhere. Barritone was awarded a DD for horse whispering having made a two-week old foal become very wary of hashers with his excellent very loud 'On On!'. Given England's defeat to Italy in the Football World Cup a stand-in Italian was appointed for a DD, namely Debriefed who came the closest to wearing Azzurri Blue. We'll need a Uruguayan for next week. Further DDs were awarded to Free Willy for showing he hadn't had the benefit of the Green Cross Code; Visitors and Virgins, all related to Debriefed (Dad, Mum and Sister) - was the hash your Father's Day treat? ; Diarrhoea for clearing beer glasses (at least 3 miles from the pub); and finally, the hares for a good run.
So that's the way I saw it.....
Durex

Trail as done by Durex

AH4 Run 52 Sir Charles Cotton Hotel, Hartington

RUN #52
Date: Saturday 7th June 2014
Location: Sir Charles Cotton Hotel, Hartington (SK17 0AL)
Hare:Road Pick-up
Weather: Generally very wet
Pack size: 12

This Asbourne hash day started with thunder, lightening and torrential rain, the kind of day you would never dream of making a trip into the Peak District to go for a run. Solidarity with the poor hare who had to set the trail, and the fact that the hash goes on whatever the weather, meant that we were in Hartington by 11:00 ready for the On Out. The rain had stopped.
ASB was there at the start but made some excuse about having to leave early. She did get the temporary position of director of latecomers, which was fortunate for Half Bee who once sent in the right direction soon caught the pack. Gradually the rain returned and by the end of the hash we were wet to

The power of flour! The On Inn direction still clearly
visible on the road under flowing water 

our bones. It was a lovely trail and well laid by Road Pick-up. Despite the rain the flour remained more-or-less intact, including four fish hooks. The downhill bits were a bit slippery, something Two Bob utilised for a bit of skiing practice. 
Horse's Arse with his strap-on video camera recorded the whole run including the promised highlight of the donkeys.
Back at the On Inn we all had a lot of drying out to do, and a log fire was most welcome, even in June. Hot Air lived up to her name and managed to dry her hair, shame about the pink jumper. Indeed, this was her third AH4 trail but the first she had managed to make on time. This was down to her chauffeur and newcomer Audry.

Due to persistent rain, the circle was held in the hotel's tea room which must get the award for the most luxurious circle settings.

Hot Air receiving an award for the pinkest attire of the day
(from Muff Shot's Facebook posting)

The arrival of food brought the circle to a quick end before we had time to name returner Jamie, and Muff Shot may have got off lightly with new shoes.
Well done Road Pick-up on an excellent trail and hash location.

Trail as run by Durex

QH3 Run 834 The Tap House, Smisby

RUN #834
Date: Sunday 1st June 2014
Location: The Tap House, Smisby (LE65 2TA)
Hares:B*gger and Goblin
Weather: Warm sunshine
Pack size: 12

June has arrived with lovely summer weather, a pleasant change after a week of rain. Jogging around the trail I was struggling to find some negatives to say about this hash. Excellent weather, the Tap House is an excellent On INN and this was an excellent trail, some parts along virgin paths obviously not widely used judging by the height and depth of stinging nettles. The warm weather had also brought out a lot of flies, Captain Oates was snacking on them on the way around. There was a lack of sheep but given the Leicestershire (rather than Derbyshire) postcode, and the absence of Barritone, that was understandable.
The hare pointed out that part of the trail followed the newly launched National Forest Way (Stage 7 Moira to Hartshorne), though we did only did a small part of its 75 mile length. Too Tuf also impressed us with his knowledge of cereal crops identifying the 'two row maritime barely'. Useful person to have on your quiz team - his head if full of all kinds of useless information when not full with beer.
Malteaser and Wallington chose to do the walker's option, the rest of us doing the 6 miles plus trail that was well laid and with some excellent checks that kept the pack together.
We're getting used to having a full time RA (Butt Plug) leading the circle, though his curate (Captain Oates) delayed the start of proceedings by having a dinner for which he was awarded a DD. This was passed on to someone else on the feeble grounds that he was on his way to work. Other DDs were awarded to Hot Air and Chicki for raising the RA's expectations; Durex for using the 'socks up, trousers down' approach to avoiding stinging nettles; Wallington for a limp wrist (the cause of which was stipulated); Malteaser for being seen coming out of the bushes; Ballcrusher who won Captain Oates' DD lottery; Diarrhoea (fleeced again); and B*gger and Goblin for a good trail.
Goblin provided the usual excellent shortcake feet and the pub provided us with a beer named after one of our hashers (Malteaser). Good job hash names aren't copyrighted!

ON ON Durex.

Trail as done by Durex