QH3 Run 826. White Horse, Ruddington

RUN #826
Date: Sunday 16th March 2014
Location: White Horse, Ruddington
Hare: Barritone
Weather: Fantastic
Pack size: 19 

What a lovely day for a hash. Too bad I couldn't r*n. Arriving late at the ON INN there was no time to straighten out my back and the walkers (Wallington, Smutley and Enema) had disappeared from sight before I had even left the car park. I was moving slowly, very slowly. It must have been about 2 mph by the time I got the the fourth check. At this point I put my previous haring knowledge of the Ruddington Country Park to good use and cut across the

Too Tuf tripped over a pattern in the path  in his new shoes
and needed the assistance of two Harriettes, Skids and Malteaser

fields to pick up the trail before it exited the park. Following exemplary short-cutting procedure I headed back along 'ASHER LANE and was, by a long way, not the last back to the pub at 12:01. This was some 20 minutes before Butt Plug, Ivor Bush and Free Willy arrived under the illusion that they were the first ones back. Obviously Butt Plug had some 'go faster' new shoes but, as demonstrated later, they don't hold beer well.




The circle was led by stand-in RA Too Tuf, we've certainly had a lot of abnormal weather this year. We had to delay the start of the circle as the Beer Master once again had gone missing in action, Captain Oates was living up to his hash name. Nice to welcome some new Hashers to Quorn - Hot Air and Audery. Hope this is your first run of many with the QH3. 
The other major incident reported from the trail was Too Tuf falling over, no doubt new shoes being a contributory factor. Too Tuf - "I could have died". Chicki - "More bloody paperwork for me on Monday!". Such concern.


That's the way I saw it from a distance,
ON ON
Durex

Trail as done by Bugger

MH3 Run 249. Half Moon Inn, Littleover

Run No: 249
Date: Monday 10th March 2014
Location: Half Moon Inn, Littleover (DE23 6FN)
Hares: Dobber and Lionel
Weather: Dry and mild
Pack size: ? 

I didn't make this trail. A couple of good days work in the garden repairing the fence and I've wrecked my back again. Those that did go, please add comments..... 


Trail as done by Bugger

QH3 Run 825. The Blue Bell Inn, Desford

RUN #825
Date: Sunday 2nd March 2014
Location: The Blue Bell, Desford
Hare: Wallington
Weather: Cold and threatening rain
Pack size: 13 

This was a trail at the southern extremities of the Quorn hashing area set by 60th birthday boy Wallington. We were greeted by the unusual sight of Too Tuf and Chicki (along with chauffeur Butt Plug) being the first to arrive ten minutes BEFORE the start of the run. With rain in the air, Too Tuf was repeatedly told 'no prizes for guessing who is the RA today'. Yes, that honour was bestowed on Too Tuf, it did rain briefly at the start, but the powers of the RA kept the rain away until we were all on our way home. He also got berated by GM Chicki for suggesting that it would be a short-sleeved T-shirt run. 

Run 825 featured a drinks stop

The hare was going all out for 'trail of the year' handing out chocolates at the

Goblin baked a splendid birthday cake.
We should have more cake on the hash

start. At approximately 3 miles this was certainly one of the shorter trails we've done, but two river crossings and a drinks stop padded out the time. Calories burned on this run were more than offset by chip butties and chocolate cake awaiting us at the ON INN.

Party poppers were available during the circle led by Too Tuf and were used to good effect in putting both IP and Captain Oates off their DDs. Lady Penelope (aka Sweet Pea) of International Rescue had saved IP from a crumbling bridge and received several phone calls from Australia interrupting the flow of the circle. He should never have been on the bridge which had been marked by a bar. With no justice on the hash, those that actually followed hash rules and got their feet wet (Bugger, Goblin, Butt Plug and Tom 'Captain Oates' Daley) were the ones that got most abuse in the circle.

Plenty of chances to give muddy shoes a good wash

Hare and birthday boy Wallington received his reward for a good run. It was also noted that Diarrhoea had a birthday today, though Malteaser  asserted he doesn't have them.

Trail as done by Durex

AH4 Run 49. Sycamore Inn, Parwich

RUN #49
Date: Saturday 1st March 2014
Location: Sycamore Inn, Parwich
Hare: Crooked Squire
Weather: Lovely crisp sunny morning
Pack size: about 20 

First day of March, were we going to have a mad March Hare? Crooked Squire said he saw several whilst laying the trail. No doubt they were enjoying the spring-like weather.

We welcomed hash virgins Geoff and Florim plus newcomer Swings both ways who, as part of his tenancy contract at Durex and Malteaser's, has to attend at least two hashes a month. Hot Air was another newcomer but unfortunately she never made the trail having been guided by her GPS to somewhere that wasn't anywhere near Parwich. How many of you noticed that ASB's Facebook notification for this trail location, correctly given as DE6 1QL, plots to the north of Leek???

Captain Oates was a late comer and did well to find his way out of the village to catch the main pack kept together by good checks. Walkers (Mama Rose and Non-runner) were passed on several occasions taking full advantage of short-cuts as advised by the hare. Crooked Squire had promised us a 5 km trail but less than half way around (that is, after 3 miles) he was making excuses. He hadn't clarified whether this was 5 km in the horizontal or vertical dimension. There was certainly a lot of going up.

Walker (Non-runner) leading the pack with hashers strung out all the way back up the hill

I made a mental note at the fish hook that Horse's Arse had not returned to the back of the pack. Indeed, he was at the back having got a long way behind on one of the many long checks he ran. He was later was one of many hashers to get a good slapping from a tree branch (birch?) across the trail.

We all listened out for this farting horse

This was a very scenic trail that included a visit Tissington. Lovely to be out hashing in the Peak District when the weather is cool but the sun shining brightly.
ASB and Hash Puppy were already waiting back at the On INN, some excuse about 'other commitments' making it hard to make the start of the hash.
The circle was held before hashers disappeared into the pub for food. We started with the virgins and newcomers, Swings both ways christened his new shoes with a drink from one of them. Never by knowingly caught wearing new shoes on a hash. I knew they were new because I bought them for his birthday earlier in the week, hence he also got a hashy birthday DD. Mama Rose and ASB also got punished for contemplating some serious r*nning the next day, like a half-marathon. Rosie got named Slip 'er one and the hare was thanked for a good run. Longer than promised but actually a good length for a nice running area like this.
Diarrhoea must be thanked for providing many of the photos for the hash report blogs. He now has a bit of competition from newcomer and professional photographer Geoff.

Hasher from the Infirmary trail (Durex)

Hasher from the Asylum trail (Horse's Arse)