QH3 Run 755. The Lady Bay, W Bridgford, Notttingham. 26/03/2012

A Monday evening hash starting in daylight - back to British Summer Time, though we can't pack away the torches just yet. Hare: Butt Plug, location: Lady Bay, West Bridgford, Nottingham. Even Too Tuf and Chicki made the start  joining a pack swelled in size by the addition of Dobber and Lionel from the Mickleover Hash again (size being numbers rather than implying anything else).
Chicki progressed from using her GPS just to tell the time to nearly getting a location. We were withinin one button-press of starting the GPS and the bloody thing went into sleep mode whilst waiting for the ON OUT. The first half of the trail saw Chicki engrossed in trying to restore time.
In hashing circles this was what is known as a "tight" trail. Over 5 miles long (see Run 755) but never going too far from the Lady Bay. A SCBs dream run. This featured crossing over and under Trent Bridge twice. Short of putting flour on the river bed the hare did a good job of hiding it well.
The circle was led by stand-in RA Chicki - anyone noticed how good the hashing weather has been since our "elected" RA Silent Pants has moved away to Lincoln? There was a welcome back to Scrooge which was also made into a farewell just in case we don't see him again for a while. Further awards to:
Malteaser - again a FRB and complaining about too many bars.
Lionel - something French
Durex - Chicki's failed Garmin GPS consultant
Skids - almost having her name (*KIDS) on the hotel menu advert
Chicki - Nice weather
Butt Plug - Good run (but not as good as Rasher's)

QH3 Run 754, The Free Trade, Sileby. 18/03/2012

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY TO THE QUORN HASH 

Location of Quorn H3 run No 1 and run 754 (which hasher left the mobility scooter outside?)

To celebrate the Quorn Hash's 25th birthday we returned to The Free Trade Inn in Sileby where it all began on 29th March 1987. Hare for the today was Hare Razor Rasher, 25 years ago it was our founder Mango. It was the first time back to this location since 1999 when Wallington set run 276. Overnight and early morning rain made the going soft. Indeed the weather was not too different to that of the first run (see Run 1 Scribe).

Wallington - Quorn Hashing
since run No. 2

Wallington turned up in his run No. 2 T-shirt and with an album of photos from the first run. He used to  live in Sileby and when the QH3 came into town he joined in and has been coming ever since. He was made RA for the day.

Hashers filtered in for a late start at 11:15, including Barritone on bike, fortunate to realise trains don't stop in Sileby on Sundays so he had to get off in Loughborough instead. Late as we were, we didn't wait for Too Tuf and Chicki. Numbers today even meant we had the luxury of groups of walkers (Skids, Butt Plug, Shagulater and co-hare Eager Beaver) and non-walkers. I don't know which trail the walkers did but, later in the circle, they were able to describe the sexual activities of the Sileby ducks. With no sheep today Barritone expressed his disappointment in missing the duck action.

First point of interest - Mr Bacon introduced
us to his friends

Plenty to see and do on the main hash trail. Rasher didn't disappoint us with a short one. I did a trail of  8.51 miles (see Durex Run 754), Bugger 8.00 miles , Malteaser 7.2 miles and Chicki 13:05 (still working on the use of her new GPS). First point of interest, so Rasher thought, was a pig stop. What does one do at a pig stop (marked PS)? Wallington thought it was a "Pit Stop" (change shoes?), Bugger a little further down the trail had a piss (Piss Stop), and I took a picture (Picture Stop).

The disturbing thing about this trail was the number of times Malteaser was out in front doing checking whilst I was stuck at the back returning from another long false trail. I thought we had the same breakfast. Must check in for another service soon.

The hare kept us all together with a couple of holding checks, not that they were needed as the pack was kept together with excellent checks. Hashers were keen to head back to Sileby with more than 5 miles done but the hare just kept directing us away. We were even joined by Chicki and Too Tuf for most of the run, don't often see them checking.

By the time I returned the walkers had been back a while. A timely return - as the last hasher entered the car park the heavens opened and we all dashed into the pub. Bugger entertained us with a pile of old hash scribes/rag mags and Wallington old hash photo albums. Butt Plug left early leaving us to struggle through chips, sandwiches, sausage-rolls and pork pies made for twenty. Plus of course the shortcake hash feet made by Goblin.

The rain stopped and the Quorn had its first outside circle in a long while. Stand-in RA (Wallington) awarded down downs including:
1. Bugger for pissing on the hash.
2. Shagulater for voyeurism (ducks having sex).
3. Barritone for being duckless and another for sustenance to cycle home.
4. Malteaser for a computer related problem.
5. Skids, replaced by lookie-likie Chicki, for cupious pink.
6. An Irish look-alike for St Patricks Day (Wallington fell into that trap by wearing green)
7. and of course the hare (plus one), Rasher (and Eager Beaver) for a good run. Gets my vote over Butt Plug's any day.

MH3 Run 225, Alexandra Hotel, Derby. 12/03/2012

For a drinking club with a running problem the Alexandra Hotel is an excellent hash venue. A great selection of real ales, drinks at good prices and close to the railway station for those who like to drink and not drive. Thirty minutes before the start I got a text from the hares (Too Tuf and Chicki) to say this was going to be a “live hare” with a kind of message that requested we didn’t go too fast just in case we caught them up. So we started promptly on time with Bugger shooting off in front on a mission to catch the hares.

First mile was a large loop that returned back to the Alex but on the other side of the road. That’s the walkers route sorted I thought but even the walkers weren’t tempted by the closeness of the ON-INN where rule 7b could have applied – if you can see the pub from the trail, follow the pub and not the flour. I was already well at the back having checked well past the Derby Telegraph building and having to get over the devastation of finding out the Smithfield (another good real ale house) had closed down.

Checks worked well and I seemed to get caught by most of the early ones. It was only in the latter part of the trail, when I could smell the fear of the hares, that I got on a roll, out in front with welcome back Eunuch in pursuit. We headed for the railway station, surely the hares hadn’t crossed the railway here. Oh yes they had. The flour stopped at the entrance to the footbridge and started again outside the main entrance not far from the ON INN. After being let through the ticket barriers this was a check of no return. Just as well Chicki had been accompanied through the station else she might have ended up in Sheffield.

Dobber led the circle outside the pub (it’s only Quorn that’s going soft) and the hares were dealt with first being thanked for a good run. Eunuch was welcomed back and Parker also got a DD for something. Many now run with smartphones or GPSs so we can all work out where we’ve been, how long the hash was and how many beers we can drink before calories on the run have been exceeded. Chicki has learnt to tell the time on her GPS (Tuf sold her the idea that a GPS was a Get to Pub Sooner device). Malteaser on the other hand operates her mapping application by voice control on her iPhone which recorded her distance as 0 km. Did she get her DD as a non-runner?

Good Hash, plenty of checks that got me as shown by my GPS route for MH3 Run 225 .

AH4 Run 30. Ye Old Royal Oak, Wetton. 10/03/2012

Drizzle in Derby. It wasn't looking good for a Hash. Andean Sex Beast, Mamma Rose, and Non Runner had made their excuses for not coming, and Malteaser had chosen the alternative route on the Tom Tom to find our way to today's hash at Ye Olde Royal Oak in Wetton (hare Skip Rat). The alternative route took us along roads classified less than "C" roads, we were on flour part of the way, and by the time we arrived it had felt as though we'd already done a hash. The scenic drive via Ilam had already prepared us for a very scenic hash trail.
Despite noted absentees there was a good pack gathered as Horse's Arse conveyed the hare's instructions/excuses (Skip Rat was said to be out on the trail). This included newcomers Jim, Jill, Ben, Sam and Sheila, clearly dressed not for running. Plenty of fish hooks kept the pack together though in the absence of the hare (the usual target for front runners to return to at a fish hook) the RA and GM ruled there was no need to run back too far. This rule was only introduced after the first fish hook at which, unusually, neither the RA or GM counted in the first six to qualify for the fish hook. That honour went to You're in Trouble and his offspring.
Not surprisingly for the Peak District there was a lot of up, down and sheep. Ellie (no hash name?), Fast Fall, Strawberry Foreskin and Horse's Arse were the early FRBs with the latter fading at the half-way point leaving me to get on with most of the checking, largely successfully. A greasy downhill slope on the mainly bare polished limestone (the shame of it, Malteaser called it granite - I'll have to give her extra tuition) brought us into Milldale but alas no pub called the George, site of the promised beer stop. Ellie and I did four of the five false trails before anybody else arrived. The fifth trail being the correct route up a steep road to Alstonefield, and at last to the George. We were passed on the hill by Skip Rat in his car with pick-ups Road Kill and Wriggle who, much to our disgust (envy), had found a quicker way to the beer stop.
Beer stop at 5.5 miles and there was still more to come. Legs seized up whilst drinking a refreshing pint. The weather had improved and the sun was beginning to shine. Totum Pole, Lean Over and Flying Bottom arrived at the pub sometime after the newcomer walkers. They must have declined the hare's offer of a shorter route. We decided to leave just as Wheelchair got the drinks in for himself and Flying Bottom.
The road sign at Alstonefield said just over a mile to Wetton, but of course that wasn't the way most of the hash returned. I did another 3 miles before we got to the ON-IN, I'm glad the hare had decided to opt for a shorter version of the trail! Still, I suppose with good weather, and a good scenic trail, you can't get enough of a good thing. Well done the hare for a good trail.
The circle was held in the pub garden though several of the noted sinners had already left. Five pints were distributed amongst those remaining by the RA who was himself awarded a DD for getting the weather right for the hounds if not the hare.

This was the route I did, plenty of checks there. Over 8.5 miles and in excess of 1100 calories burned. Plenty of cakes and beer to replenish the energy levels. Run 30. 

QH3 Run 753. White Hart, Measham. 04/03/2012

White Hart, Measham, QH3 Run 753 (starting in public car park

 at the back of the pub)

Saturday, weather springlike, 13ºC and sun shining. Sunday (Hashday) 3ºC rain and sleet from early morning and still raining when we left the White Heart in Measham at 13:30. Bad luck for the Hare (Bugger). GM Too Tuf unanimously selected as RA in his absence in view of the weather (Too Tuf and Chicki unable to make the 11:00 start before 11:35). Well it was at the southern extremity of our hashing area again though, unlike for Run 751, some Nottinghamshire folk did make it to southern Derbyshire for the start of the run (IP, Sweet Pea and Butt Plug).
The Hare provided too much pre-run information ranging from nakedness through to three pairs of latex gloves. The cold rain encouraged the pack not to hang around. Goblin striding off at the start immediately doing a left turn instead of right as we left the car park area. Throughout the run the hare's missus appeared to be working as a decoy. Bugger obviously shares no hash secrets. A small pack meant a lot of hard work had to be done at typically cunning Bugger checks. It was too cold this week to leave the comfort of my own head to try and work out what was in the hare's mind. Best just to settle for the most devious route, though Bugger must have been a bit off this week, he even let a river crossing opportunity pass by. Checks did their job so  walkers Wallington (birthday boy) and Malteaser kept up with the pack though these two did chop off the top of this figure-of-eight trail. Too Tuf and Chicki gave us too much of a start and, even with the hare marking the trail well for latecomers, we were already into the first pint and fifth Goblin shortcake biscuit before we saw them.
The hash is going soft with a sixth consecutive circle being held inside the pub on account of the rain. Sweet Pea quaffed the first DD with ease (something to do with suggesting we close the door to the bar?); Wallington for hashing with an umbrella; and Chicki for brown-nosing because of her copious praise for how well the trail had been laid, especially for latecomers. Finally, the hare got a full pint because we thought the trail was so good. 

Run 753 as done by Durex.