QH3 Run 911. Sir John Bolase Warren, Nottingham

RUN #911

Date : Monday 25th July 2016
Location: Sir John Borlase Warren, Canning Circus, Nottingham
Hares: Pre-Mature, Lily the Pink, Puss in Boots
Weather: Dry but overcast 
Pack size: 14

This evening we ran from a pub whose name was marginally shorter than our list of hares. Admiral Sir John Borlase Warren (b.1753 – d.1822) was a British Royal Navy officer, politician and diplomat who must have done something special to have a pub named after him.
With the GM absent the RA welcomed us to run 911 reminding me that this trail could be a disaster waiting to happen. Far from it. Our virgin hares did an excellent job. Their intent was clear in the first 2 miles. After promising us a flat trail, we had already been up an down the steep hill in the Park area three times and found ourselves probably no more than 250 metres from where we had started. The steps and tunnel down into the Park are always a feature worth having in a Nottingham trail and indeed much used by Too Tuf and Chicki on their city trails. The latter had no recollection of this.
The hares did a good job of shepherding us around the trail, each popping up at various key points. No painted ladies tonight, we just had to make do with Pre-Mature in his bright yellow top, Lily the Pink with a cider in the pub named in her honour, and a Puss in Boots pop-up.
There was a virgin on the trail today - Craig Duff - I know this because he had his name on the back of his T-Shirt. As he arrived late (at first I thought he was a jogger just joining in with us), Craig had to learn the rules of hashing as we went along. He made a good addition to the 'A-team' up at the front. 
Barritone was said by a member of the public to be playing a trombone - is there no end to this man's talents. I can't even get a single note out the Hash horn.
The hash circle was held indoors, led by RA Chicki. The following awards were made from a cocktail of drinks prepared by Beer Master Puss in Boots;

1. Too Tuf for reportedly 'nailing' slugs (not our Slug);
2. Slug - lying about setting the trail;
3. Barritone - trombone player;
4. Welcome to virgin hasher Craig;
5. Smutley - welcome back, a Brexit from Poland;
6. Durex - allegedly short-cutting and not going up the back passage at the end;
7. Pop-up hare, Puss in Boots;
8. Pre-Mature, a lot of half-truths in the run introduction. This was a flat trail with more up than down.
9. Lily the Pink, last of the tri-hare team who took the run decision at 63%;
10. Chicki for the nice tunnel that she'd never hashed along before!;
11. Butt Plug, assisting the RA by being chief snitch; and
12. Noddy (Not Offered Down-Down Yet) given to Diarrhoea.

 So that was the way our July Monday hash went, On On.. Durex

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 910. Royal Oak, Ockbrook

RUN #910

Date : Sunday 17th 2016
Location: Royal Oak, Ockbrook
Hare:Jelly Knob
Weather: Hot and Sunny
Pack size: 9

Move over Captain Oates, we now have a new hare apprentice to entertain us with their trail. Jelly Knob was today's virgin hare. Originally, Plan A was to set a trail from the White Hart in Stanley, but that was used by the Mickleover Hash during the week. So instead today's trail was laid from the Royal Oak in Ockbrook. A good place to meet with a good selection of beers. The hare promised us a trail of 5.7 miles, more like 7.5 miles the way I did it. The trail was based around five very well marked checks joined by infrequent flour blobs, even less than the hare said he had laid the previous evening. So the main trail was passed with some uncertainty and a lot of 'looking'. We visited the Hermit's Cave, a good point of reference for the hare to remember where he had laid the trail and an opportunity to regroup. We even had an Ashbourne fish-hook giving a clue to Jelly Knob's hashing origins. The fish-hook was done with little enthusiasm as Malteaser was walking a long distance behind and there was some debate as to how many hashers could get around her.
I had to run up many of the hills to keep up with newcomer Wednesday returning for her second QH3 trail. Having had most of the flour washed away on her first trail, and not an abundance of flour on this one, she must be wondering how we mark our trails!
When the trail returned to Ockbrook, on two occasions I checked in directions that brought me closer to the pub, the second time with Wednesday getting within 200 m of the pub car park. Not wishing to be accused of short-cutting we returned down the hill and did another three-quarters of a mile to the On Inn. Too Tuf was observed to be carrying one of the flour blobs back to the On Inn to ensure he was always 'running on flour'. Butt Plug claimed this had reduced the hash markings by 10%.

Chicki as RA led the circle, ably assisted by the cultural attache Too Tuf showing his experience as Beer Master. The following awards were made

1. Wednesday - a returning newcomer who has yet to see much flour on a Quorn hash;
2. Butt Plug - welcome back from holiday;
3. Barritone - for stating the obvious. The £1.50 on the bench really was his run fee.
4. Too Tuf - interfering with the trail markings by carrying around a blob of flour that he found.
5. Durex - apart from complaining to the RA that it was too hot, also abusing Malteser with comments about how many could get around her at the fish hook;
6. Jelly Knob - the hare was congratulated for completing his first trail and successfully herding the pack around the trail without losing anyone which, given the sparsity of flour blobs, was a good achievement;
7. Too Tuf - ably standing in as Beer Master; and
8. Chicki - was given whatever hash beer was left to try and deal with the fly she swallowed. I refrain from commenting about old ladies and swallowing spiders.....

A pleasant way to spend a Sunday morning and lunchtime, On On.. Durex

Trail as done by Durex

MH3 Run 277. White Hart, Stanley

MH3 Run 277
Date: Monday 11th July 2016
Location: White Hart, Stanley
Hare:Lightning Rod
Weather: Dry amongst heavy and localised showers
Pack size: 12



 At ON OUT time (19:15) the hare was missing, presumed still out laying the trail, so we had to set off without hearing his advice or excuses. Fortunately, Jelly Knob's flour detection capability was working well and he was able to lead us out of the village in the right direction. The first mile went pretty well, flour markings surviving on the swampy fields, the crossing of which was made made more difficult by the paths being churned up by herds of wildebeest, or suchlike. We then entered a zone where there had obviously been a recent heavy downpour and flour became difficult to find. After checking paths in several directions we temporarily lost Diarrhoea whilst special forensic teams were sent out to recheck paths. After a further mile along the trail we were rejoined by Diarrhoea and the hare on a stretch which obviously hadn't been rained upon.
We came to a point where a shorter trail had been marked and here the hare advised that, given the length of the run (it had taken 3 hours to set!), hashers were recommended to take this shorter route. This advice came too late for Diarrhoea, Jelly Knob and myself who had already set off along the 'long' loop. After about half-a-mile flour became washed out again and we lost the trail on the main road at Morley. Experienced hashers that we are, it was inevitable that if we turned left we would pick up the trail again, and so we did after a short break of about 500 m. Jelly Knob, possibly guided by the road sign to Stanley, turned left along Centenary Way, whilst Diarrhoea and myself, interested to see what bits of the trail we may have missed, went right in the other direction. Hard luck Jelly Knob who found himself going around backwards.
From this point the flour was very fresh and had not been rained upon and marked checks suggested that we were no longer on the long loop but following those that had taken the 'shorter' option. Indeed, shortly after the end of the Great Northern Greenway cycle path (which one day will extend all the way to Ilkeston), we came upon Gobalot, Oriface and B*gger, so the running pack was again reunited. Paths were covered with slugs and flour blobs were observed to be a heaving pile of the aforementioned. 
Shortly after this Gobalot choose an unfortunate place to take a tumble, on a gravel covered hardcore track. A lot of blood and grit-filled cuts but no apparent structural damage. The windmill at West Hallam was spotted on the horizon and we knew we were on our way back to Stanley. At the ON INN all the walkers plus Jelly Knob were already enjoying their first pint of 'Proper Job' beer. Only the hare, Lightning Rod, was absent, presumably sweeping the trail in every direction for any stray hashers.
In the circle the following awards were given by Dobber: 1. Seaman Stains - RA abuse; 2. Gobalot - for getting 'gravelled on the hash; 3. Malteaser - for harvesting elder flowers on the hash; 4. Durex - for instigating the production of elder flower champagne and keeping it to himself; 5. Catflaps - part time joiner open to doing commissions. In view of the rain we had had in recent days it was suggested he could help Noah with his Ark; and 6. Lightning Rod, the hare. With various wild beasts sighted and a challenging trail, we reckoned he had given us 90% of what we wanted. A long trail made more difficult by the weather is always something to be remembered. Well done Lightning Rod for a good run this evening and despite everything, we all got back to the pub before darkness.

On On ..Durex

Trail as done by Durex

QH3 Run 909. The Wilford Green Pub, Nottingham

RUN #909

Date : Sunday 3rd July 2016
Location: Wilford Green Pub, Nottingham
Hares: Too Tuf and Chicki
Weather: 'lots of sunshine?'
Pack size: 8

This was a rare QH3 trail that I missed. The following report was received from Chicki...
It was, of course, a cracking run with lots of sunshine.  I can't remember the score now but I'm sure the number involved 3 figures [3.48% so I'm told].  Points were lost because the hares set the trail Saturday morning and Saturday evening saw heavy rain so the blobs were a little faint in places.  We had a pack size of 8 including Too Tuf and Chicki who were the hares, plus Bugger, Goblin, Diarrhoea, Ballcrusher, Barritone and Wednesday.  The trail took in paths through Wilford and Clifton and went through parks and woods and included a river crossing, which actually only Bugger used.   On the trail Bugger was given advice from a local lady walking her dog who said that she had seen flour and could advise Bugger of the route.  Bugger decided he knew better and went the opposite way and was subsequently awarded a down-down.  Diarrhoea returned from his travels wearing his inter hash t-shirt for which he was awarded a down-down.  Wednesday is a newcomer to Quorn, having moved to us from the Lune Valley Hash a year ago but has only just got around to running with us.  Wednesday was welcomed with a down-down for enthusiastic checking.  Wednesday kept running down falsies for a long way, despite the complete absence of any flour. 

Trail as done by Bugger