QH3 Run 890. The Boat, Lenton, Nottingham

RUN #890

Date : Monday 28th December 2015
Location: The Boat, Lenton, Nottingham 
Hares: Butcher's Dog and Sausage
Weather: Mild and dry
Pack size: 15


What a difference a year makes. Butcher's Dog set the last trail of 2014 on snow and ice, this evening was dry and mild.

It was a good pack size for this time of year, swelled by the presence of the five returning Hoveringham r*nners. The QH3 had run from this excellent real ale pub only once before in April 2010 (Too Tuf and Chicki hares). Today's hares (Butcher's Dog and Sausage) laid a well planned route that joined up parts of Nottingham with some good off-road paths including the University campus, The Park and along the canal from Castle Marina.

From henceforth you will be
known as 'Premature'

The circle was led by RA Chicki, inspired by Christmas, she commenced with the carol 'Good King Wenceslas' but with words appropriate to QH3 for which she was suitably rewarded by the first DD. Malteaser received the second DD after being observed arriving at the On Inn from the wrong direction. Next came one of the Hoveringham r*nners Chris. His eagerness to do checking had been noted. Unfortunately, he was also too eager to do his DD and went too soon. This earned him his hashname of Premature. Whilst in the mood for naming, Allison on her 2nd QH3 trail showed some confusion on the trail as to the whereabouts of someone's home, she will henceforth be known as Slug. Complaints about the name subsided when we pointed out that we could change the vowel for another one.

...and you will be known as 'Slug'

Butt Plug was unusually sober for this time on a bank holiday and received a softie DD. Trianal got his usual DD for disappearing for long periods of time. He claimed this was just because he was a long way in front. We thought it might have been because, although completing the whole trail and probably a lot more, it was probably not in the same order as everyone else. Too Tuf was rewarded for having the only Christmas Hash T-shirt, and  the oldest one on today's hash. The RA usually distributes lots of DDs and never gets many herself. Well tonight she deservedly got two, the second for raising the water levels in the Trent-Mersey Canal. That's what happens when you arrive at the On Inn more than an hour before the trail starts and you're forced to drink several pints of beer before you run instead of listening to the Archers.

The run discussion covered many points including, feeble gas lights in The Park, no sheep, no snow, not losing Captain Oates (well to be fair he wasn't on the hash tonight) and the fact that it was the perfect 5 miles in length. The verdict went to a secret ballot which may have resulted in a score of 45% though anything with a '5' in it seemed acceptable. Thanks to Butcher's Dog and Lincolnshire Sausage for an excellent trail and much needed post Christmas exercise.

NODDYs (Not Offered Down Down Yet) were sought to mop up the final dregs of beer. These went to myself for the image created to advertise this run and the final DD of the hash year went to Phil, driver for the Hoveringham five.

So ends our hashing year On On into 2016 .....Durex

Trail as run by Durex

QH3 Run 889. Bell Inn, Cromford

RUN #889

Date : Sunday 20th December 2015
Location: Bell Inn, Cromford 
Hare: Butt Plug
Weather: Sunny and Mild
Pack size: 11


Today was the QH3 Christmas 'Jingle Balls' trail. Although our RA Chicki was absent today, I was sent a text pointing out that she was still looking after the weather for us. Indeed, it was sunny with temperature in the mid-teens, but hardly Christmas weather! Snow would have been nice - there's no pleasing hashers. 

Wobbly Wallington reaches the top of the incline

The hare (Butt Plug) prepared for this trail by staying the night in a castle having set the trail the previous afternoon, before the rain. Nevertheless, most flour was still there and near the start a bit more had been added to the puzzlement of the pack. A big white patch had been carefully placed on the trail, but with carrots in it.
This being Cromford there was only one way to go and that was up. Up the old railway incline to the High Peak Trail we went, pausing at the top for a fantastic view and some photographs.

"The reindeer went that way"

The hare won the award last year for the most elevation gain on a trail and today was obviously putting in a bid to retain that award. The route was only just over 4 miles but seemed much longer on account of the continuous upward climbs. It was no surprise that the On Inn was a decent down a 12% hill for more then half-a-mile. We suspect the hare had actually done more than lay just flour for the Christmas trail. On the upwards path to the trig point (323m and above Black Rocks) we passed a large decorated Christmas tree.

The Hare's Christmas Tree

In true Christmas spirit no run subs were collected and Goblin provided some scrumptious mince pies and Christmas tree shortcake biscuits. No attempt was made to usurp our absent RA and a quick circle was convened inside to thank the hare for the Christmas trail of the year and possible contender for actual trail of the year. It is always nice hashing in the Peak District especially when the weather is good and there's plenty of shiggy from all that rain we've had on non-hashing days (i.e. every day apart from Sundays). One DD was also presented to the hasher voted as today's biggest sinner and Malteaser got a many citations including, finding so many of the false trails and being a FRB (well at least on the downhill bits) keeping up with Horse's Arse and Jelly Knob.

Excellent trail..... 

Shortcake Christmas Trees
by Goblin

On On..Durex

Trail as run by Durex

MH3 Run 270. Masons Arms, Mickleover

MH3 Run 270
Date: Monday 7th December 2015
Location: Masons Arms, Mickleover(DE3 0DL)
Hares: Cat Flaps & Lionel
Weather: Dry and Mild
Pack size: 15




The annual MH3 Christmas trail was, as usual, done at the heart of Mickleover from the Masons Arms. Very 'unlike Christmas' weather but many of the pack had Christmas hats and Jelly Knob was lighted up like a Christmas tree. The urban area of Mickleover always provides a challenging route for the hash pack with its numerous streets and alley ways and wide spacing of flour blobs en route spread out the pack, particularly at checks. It was a short trail of just over 3 miles meaning we were quickly back to the On Inn to enjoy the beer and mince pies provided by the hash. Although dispersed we lost nobody and the walkers and the r*nners arrived back at more-or-less the same time. As is the tradition for the MH3 Christmas trail, there was no concluding circle so we could concentrate on the social drinking (and eating). Thanks to Cat Flaps and Lionel for setting the hash. Happy Christmas and Hashy New Year to all Mickleover hashers...
On On
Durex

Trail as run by Durex

QH3 Run 888, Canal Inn, Bullbridge

RUN #888

Date : Sunday 6th December 2015
Location: Canal Inn, Bullbridge
Hares: Durex and Malteaser
Weather: Mild with a hint of light rain
Pack size: 34

The QH3 was joined by neighbouring hashes to celebrate our run 888 and this resulted in one of the largest packs we've had for years. Considering the North received unprecedented levels of rain this weekend we did well to get off with a light sprinkling of rain. The RA lost a bit of control there put down to the fact she had to pay a fortune to take forever to get to the On Inn by bus, and still didn't make it for the start of the trail.

Thirty four hashers turned up to celebrate our 888th trail

Non Runner recorded a
trail length of 8.88 km
for Run 888

At the pre-run briefing the hare confessed to resisting the temptation to set a trail of 8.88 miles for run#888 and had instead gone for the perfect 5 miles. However, after the trail Non Runner did point out that he recorded 8.88 km (see photo), though in a time of 2hr 10min you can see how he got his hash name.
This was a figure-of-eight trail with the pivotal point being in the centre of Crich where a drinks stop had been organised. Just the kind of spot you don't want somebody interfering with the trail markings. Enter the Reverend Goodwill who refused to have a flour circle on the pavement outside his house and as a result a lot more arrows and bars had to be added by the hare to keep the pack going in the right direction.
At its furtherest point the trail turned just below Crich Stump. The hares had originally planned a route passing to the top of the tower but H&S dictates that it is kept locked when the steps are wet and slippery, i.e. most of the winter. Good job we don't apply the same rules to public footpaths.

The Canal Inn in Bullbridge is an excellent pub for a hash event. The staff are very friendly and accommodating and the location is excellent for numerous walking/running/cycling trails in the Peak District. Although there is no food regularly served, we were provided with chip butties and a good supply of real ale. 

For the large circle the RA required all 25 pages of her DD song book. Awards went something like this:
1: Butt Plug and Underlay with reference to the former requiring somewhere to put his bag (the latter);
2: Jelly Knob for flying on the trail, (a trip for which he didn't require a licence);
3: Tweeny for his 'in the car' phone moment, a plastic bag on his head and GM of Birmingham H3 (once one GM is offered a drink all GMs drink so in came ASB (AH4), Dobber (MH3) and B*gger (QH3));
4: B*gger All of BH3 gave his car keys to the slowest person on today's trail (once one B*gger is offered a drink all B*ggers drink so in came B*gger, who happened to be that slowest person);
5: Festuring Gash who was overheard at the drinks stop congratulating the hares on a wonderful trail, i.e. before the RA had started the run discussion;
6: ASB was punished for attempting to enter the vicar's garden by a route other than a public footpath. Tweeny dobbed in Hare Malteaser for also being 'directionally' challenged (once one hare is offered a drink all hares drink so in came Durex);
7: Smutley for calling Underlay a dog;
8: Mama Rose, on behalf of the dog who only drinks sparkling water;
9: Shagulater brought in by popular demand when the RA was heard asking for a wee one. Shagulater has  rarely hashed with us in recent times due to his flying adventures, trips that he now finds out were illegal as his flying licence expired at the start of this year;
10: Skids, for a blonde moment at the check with 88 steps. The correct trail was the one from which the non-calling FRBs had not returned;
11: Sweet Pea led an interesting discussion on St Nicholas day, which led to the question as to who was not wearing any knickers;
12:  A Reverend Goodwill look-a-like (Chicki) was given a DD for trying to mislead the flock in the centre of Crich by washing crucial trail markings from the pavement;
13: Too Tuf did a slow DD so the hash scribe could have time to note that he had done it;
14: & 16: Underlay for mobile phone use in the circle;
15: Gentlemen Dobber for adopting the cautious approach to how long ago Underlay's 50th birthday might have been;
17: Ballcrusher as a St Nicholas look-a-like;
18: Barritone who took the river crossing sitting down;
19: Non-river crossers Psychojellic and Skids (once one Jelly is offered a drink all Jellies drink so in came Jelly Knob);

From henceforth you will be known as Whoratio

20 & 21: Tim welcomed back for his 2nd Quorn trail. He managed to get more than two notes from Tweeny's buggle (not trumpet!) and as a result, after much discussion, got the hashname 'Whoratio' [Hornblower];
22: IP gave a story about Too Tuf's spreading infamy, further embellished by Butt Plug;
23: Tweeny finally managed to present Captain Oates with a long promised BH3 T-shirt, now 2 sizes too big. He also grabbed the opportunity to mention the BH3 organised Nash Hash event in Solihull (May 2016 - get registering);
24: Hares Durex and Malteaser. Run vote led to ambiguous result somewhere between 8.8%, 69% or 88.8% (nearly 90%); and
25: Finally, we didn't forget to punish today's FRB Lincolnshire Sausage.

Phew! That was a big circle. Great to see such a good turn out. We should encourage more joint participation events amongst local hashes.

Run 888 T-Shirt

The circle wasn't the end of today's event. We had had chip butties provided by the pub, eight-eight-eight themed cakes prepared by Malteaser and Goblin. Many thanks to those who put the effort into providing this hash grub. There was also a rare QH3 T-shirt (available from B*gger for £5).

To finish with, keeping on the 888 theme, we went to the dogs (and horses) as the landlord provided some racing entertainment which raised over £11 for the East Midlands Air Ambulance.

Great day out.

On On...Durex

Trail as set by Hare

QH3 Run 887. VAT and Fiddle, Nottingham.

RUN #887

Date : Monday 30 November 2015
Location: VAT and Fiddle, Nottingham
Hare:Captain Oates
Weather: Mild and no rain
Pack size: 11


BBC Weather forecast for the Nottingham area today was rain, rain, and more rain, clearing up in the evening - they must have based their report knowing that the QH3 were running in Nottingham this evening. They have learnt that our RA is pretty good at holding back the rain.

Captain Oates' trails are always something to look forward to, usually with a surprise or two in store. Excellent choice of On Inn in the VAT & Fiddle, home of Harvest Pale. It had rained all day but, as we now come to expect, the rain had stopped in time for the trail but the hare had still had to cope with a soaking. Would the flour still be there and would it be a Captain Oates special? Numbers were swelled tonight by 3 returning r*nners from Hoveringham (Phil, Cadi and Chris) plus newcomer Jamie.

It was an excellent and well laid trail that took us to parts of Nottingham not usually encountered on a dark Monday night (Meadows included). Plenty of checks at the start with decreasing frequency towards the end. We were never quite sure where we were heading and the twisting back and crossing over trails around Clifton Bridge was very clever. Although there were no sheep on trail, this must be a nomination for trail of the year. The case for this was strengthened by the hare's effort to mark St Andrew's Day by bringing to the On Inn a selection of Scottish food and drink (as determined from the internet). This included whisky, Tunnock tea cakes, homemade deep-fried battered Mars bars, oat cakes, cold porridge and salt, macaroni cheese inserted into mince pie cases (??) and a selection of party gear for the sake of auld lang syne.

To celebrate St Andrew's Day the hare prepared cold porridge with salt

The homemade deep fried Mars bars looked
like something collected off the pavement

We used the room we last used for the Awards Night earlier in the year and the RA Chicki, buoyed up by her continuing success with the weather, let loose with her repertoire of DD songs. If you want to get Chicki something for Christmas then you could do no worse than write her some new songs.

First DD went to Smutley for a welcome back and showing little faith in the RA by turning up in a rain jacket. Another doubting Thomas who was punished was returning newcomer Phil who had earlier asked on Facebook if the trail would be postponed due to heavy rain. A further Hoveringham r*nner (Chris) was punished for referring to us as a 'running club'. Our token 'Scot' for St Andrew's Day was Butt Plug, there being no real Scots present on the hash. A-team checker Durex was punished for pointing out that after a long succession of successful checking he'd taken a break about three quarters of the way around and that's when everything slowed down and nearly went pear-shaped as the newcomers headed off towards Castle Marina. The final returning newcomer Cadi was given a DD for being the first harriette back to the On Inn. Barritone was a late latecomer who admitted he hadn't even tried to find the first check. Smutley got another DD to supplement his calories after much advertisement about his diet. Butt Plug also received as second award to the sound of Hashy Birthday for reaching a landmark 60! 

Captain Oates was thanked for an excellent trail (so good we didn't even need a vote) and the effort he put into celebrating St Andrew' Day. He was given a cold porridge DD! That left two DDs to mop up, one for newcomer Jamie who by now had learnt how to take a DD, and one for Noddy (Not Offered a DD Yet) Malteaser who was not without sin on today's trail. The fact that she 'short-cut' along the low road whilst everyone else took the high road by the river triggered a rendition of the Scottish ditty covering this sin. So if Malteaser was the only Noddy I must have missed when Too Tuf got his DD. And our RA deserved better for the weather and the DD songs.


On On..Durex

Trail as run by Durex